My Alleged Husband-Chapter 1464 - 1258: Unable to Let Go
During that time, when I was just with my wife, he actually knew that it was just me who couldn’t let go, I couldn’t accurately express the pain deep inside me to him.
Ran Zhihan genuinely doesn’t know how to explain this matter to her husband now. She clearly has made everything so clear, but why does he still refuse to believe her in the end? Can she really be happy in a marriage without trust? Constantly reflecting on herself, but with each step pressuring herself, forcing herself to decide to be with him for a lifetime. But the result ultimately hurt her so much; how could her heart be balanced after loving so hard for so many years and ending up being treated like this?
Ran Zhihan doesn’t want to say anything now and just turns around to leave, but as her husband sees his wife turn and leave, his heart instantly feels displeased. Is it that now he is even unwilling to explain? Why is it so difficult to give an explanation to convince me, and does he feel that I don’t even deserve an explanation?
"Where do you want to go? You stand there and don’t move. The matter hasn’t been explained clearly. Do you want to quietly leave alone again? Don’t you think it’s immoral for you to do this? I have sacrificed so much for you, and yet you betrayed me by doing these things. Do you really think it doesn’t bother me? Do you think you can just leave and leave me here, not even caring about your own son? Do you really think this is what a mother should do?
No matter what happens, you should at least give me a reasonable explanation; otherwise, I would only think you are avoiding and just unwilling to tell me the truth. Do you think we can still live happily together this way? Neither do I want to live this painful life. Everyone has a strong sense of pride; you have your pride, and your principles, just as I have my dignity, especially since I am a man.
Imagine, if you were a man and knew that your wife was involved with another man, but still pretended not to know, and continued affectionately with her, wouldn’t you feel disgusted?
To be honest, every time I get intimate with you, as long as I think of you being with another man so intimately, my heart aches so deeply. You never cared about my feelings. You always thought I didn’t care when I said I didn’t mind, but I am not a Saint. All I wanted was a complete marriage, but you completely disappointed me. I thought as long as I tried hard enough, as long as I could make you worry-free, you could live comfortably, without needing to work at all. But I didn’t expect reality to hit me so hard in the face—my wife spending a whole day and night out with another man, while I, as a husband, could only wait at home, and all I got in return was no explanation. What would you think?
Zhihan, I am not a robot; I cannot behave like those men in common households, who, knowing their wife cheated, still pretend nothing happened and continue living with her. They might have other motives, but I am different. I have everything I want now, and all this is from my own efforts. I have a clear conscience for not taking any shortcuts, just enduring more hardships than others. I achieved all of this through hard work.
I believe this is what I deserve for all my efforts. After putting in so much effort, why should I not get these things I have now? And you, what have you sacrificed? Just being with me for those years and getting everything so easily, you conquered the whole world without breaking a sweat, while I conquered the world, but only managed to conquer myself to you. But now I won’t foolishly offer myself like before; I am no longer that person. I know the mistakes I made may seem trivial to you, but to me, they are lifelong pains that might keep me shameful forever. You lived happily and oblivious, while I endured all the suffering and torment alone. My heart is in agony while you remain indifferent; how can I reconcile my heart to this matter?"
"Actually, I never said anything else to you from the beginning to the end. I didn’t want much, you wanted a stable married life, and I always wanted us to live stably. Isn’t that the best for us? I admit I did something to wrong you, but was that my intention? I didn’t want such things to happen, but all of this was just me being trapped and manipulated by others. Why can’t you understand my feelings?
Do you think I was happy every day after that happened? You are wrong, I have been living in immense pain daily. I couldn’t even imagine how I made it through each day. All I know is that the consequences were caused solely by myself, leaving me with no reason to blame anyone else.
I never wanted this to happen, but the facts are clear now. How can I rectify all of this? All I hope for is your forgiveness; only if you sincerely forgive me, can I continue to be by your side, to serve you all my life. But you keep getting tangled in this matter, refusing to let it go—what position does that leave me? Don’t you know what I want?"
Zhang Yichen remained silent. How could he not know what his wife truly wants? After so many years, how could he not understand her deeply? But he was unwilling to admit it was real, he didn’t want to admit he held on to this matter relentlessly, but his heart was genuinely tormented. Some things are not just matters you can easily let go of; it’s about personal dignity, it’s about the whole family’s reputation. He could only suppress everything for the family’s sake. But won’t people with ulterior motives possibly uncover something?
In the end, he could only choose to protect his dignity, letting this matter end without further incident.
But we know that even if it’s hard to separate, we cannot ignore the existence of true love, and we can’t forget what we expect from each other.
