My Alleged Husband-Chapter 1458 - 1252: Through Thick and Thin

No one is willing to remain closely dependent on each other after some time has passed; with the passage of time, everything gradually changes. No one can live as happily as before, and no one can live straightforwardly and carefree. Everything we experience is repeatedly tested by torment and blows. Who is willing to easily give up on what they desire most in their hearts?

Clearly, sometimes certain things are beyond our control, yet I act as if possessed, wanting to change everything. Is that truly my goal? Or do I really believe I can make everything turn out the way I envision it, pursuing the impossible despite knowing it can’t be done.

"Since you yourself have said that this man told you he has no feelings for you anymore, why do you still stubbornly want to be with him?

Is it because I haven’t treated you well, or is there something about me that’s not as good as her? Is it because I’m not attractive or have wronged you? Why do you inflict such heartless and ruthless things upon me?

In your heart, do you not consider me as your husband at all? Do the safety and well-being of our family hold so little importance in your eyes? Where do you place our family? Since you chose to start a family with me back then, you must take responsibility for it. By doing this now, what do you really see each member of this family as—just pawns to discard at will?"

Zhang Zhentian was truly increasingly furious. He had never imagined that his wife would ever turn out to be like this.

He couldn’t understand how the once lively and cheerful woman in front of him had changed so drastically. Why was everything he said, everything he did, perceived as wrong in her eyes?

Perhaps he didn’t know at all. When a person no longer loves another, no matter how charming that person seems, it becomes meaningless. Although it seemed like always having that person in mind, in reality, it ended up being nothing.

"Don’t say that. The time I spent with you was really happy, truly happy. You once gave me everything I wanted, and you asked me if I would give up everything for you. But did you ever consider what kind of life I want? What kind of outcome do you envision for us being together? Your unilateral decisions repeatedly hinder my life!

Have you ever thought about what kind of life I want? I live each day in unbearable pain. Has anyone ever given me the happiness I desire? Time and again, I’m torn between illness and tribulation. I also want the life I desire, but ultimately, what have you all ever given me?

I once asked if he could continue to cry for me, smile for me, but even that I couldn’t obtain in the end. Every time I embraced him from behind, you know how my heart cursed in pain. It hurt so much, truly, that I just wanted to hold him forever and never let go. I longed for time to forever remain at that moment, but would the heavens really care about me this much? Of course not!

When I embraced him, I prayed time and again in my heart, pleading with the heavens to let time pass a little slower or even stop at that moment forever and never move forward. But when I looked up, I realized time had moved on, and he had turned away, leaving me alone in that moment, silently waiting. How lonely, how desperate I was, who could understand?

You might think it’s selfish to live like this, but do you know how simple my desires really are? As long as I can stay by his side, everything else doesn’t matter to me.

All these years, I’ve always considered others, but in the end, I’ve gained nothing. In my heart, this is a failed outcome. No matter how much consideration I give, what am I in other people’s eyes?

I’ve ignored the torment of illness and chosen to be with him. All I want is to see him smile once more, even if my heart bleeds, as long as he smiles, I can still find happiness.

Perhaps you think what I’m doing is foolish and naive, but you don’t know this is true love. I don’t need him to give me any affection anymore, nor do I need him to focus his heart on me. As long as I have feelings for him and give her my heart, that’s enough. No matter if in the end, I’m completely broken or have lifelong happiness, as long as I am without regrets, that’s enough. I’ve lost him again and again, and this time, I really don’t want to lose him again. If I lose him one more time, I don’t even know how long I can continue to live..."

Zhang Zhentian never thought his wife loved that man so deeply that she would disregard her own life for him. In her eyes, what did he, her husband, even count for? Just an emotional sin-eater over and over again? Could it really be just a case of transference?

"I never thought you could love him so deeply, willing to disregard everything for him, even your own life. Why couldn’t you do the same for me just once? I remember when we were together, you pretended to love me so passionately. At that moment, I truly felt like I’d entered the paradise of happiness, but in the end, I realized it was just the start of a hell of pain!

Even if you don’t want to be with me for a lifetime, even if I truly don’t exist in your heart, can you consider my feelings? I just want to live a healthy, happy, and joyful life, even if only a little. Have I ever been happy for all these years? No, I’ve traveled far and wide for you, wandering the world, giving up my entire family for you, enduring the pain of longing.

I know full well my father is waiting for his biological son to visit him. I know my father is there, watching, hoping for us to return as a family.

Yet, knowing all of this, for your happiness, I still chose to pretend I knew nothing. Do you know how desperate I was? Do you know how much my father suffered? You’ve never considered what kind of life we want. Every decision you made was solely for your own private desires!

Isn’t the truly selfish one actually you? Do you have any sense of the things you’ve done?

Don’t expect others to forgive you, because what you’ve done leaves you unforgivable for a lifetime. You’ll forever live in your pain, stuck in your own world, never able to escape because there’s no turning back for you. You can only endure the torment and pain repeatedly, as you ultimately reap what you’ve sown!"

During that time, who wouldn’t know the pain each carried in their hearts? Clearly, the person who understood each other the most ended up being the one who hurt them the deepest. No one knows why everything turned out this way, only that this was never the goal you or I set out to achieve.