Living Only For Myself: Make Those Who Hate Me Regret It-Chapter 216: You Want to Tell Me I Brought All This Upon Myself?
Xu Su was silent for a moment before speaking somewhat unnaturally, "It was because of a dream."
The moment the words left her mouth, Xu Su realized how ridiculously fake the explanation sounded. If she hadn’t experienced it herself, who would ever believe it?
But Zhou Mochen acted as if he didn’t notice. He reached out to stroke Xu Su’s loose, long hair and kissed the top of her head. His tone was perfectly calm. "That sounds interesting. Go on."
"....." With her understanding of Zhou Mochen, spanning two lifetimes, Xu Su could guarantee he was in a terrible mood. He definitely thought she was spinning a tale to deceive him...
...Whether he believed her or not, there was nothing she could do. The arrow was already on the bowstring and had to be loosed.
"I know you don’t believe me, but it really was because of a dream." Xu Su turned her head and rubbed her cheek against his, her voice tinged with resignation. "In the dream, you liked me a lot too, but it was different from how you are now. You were gloomy, violent... twisted, paranoid, and you were always flying into a rage."
The hand stroking her hair froze. It seemed he was finally taking it in.
Xu Su simply pulled his hand down and interlaced their fingers. "Do you remember the question I asked you a few days ago? I asked if I never came to like you, would you use money to humiliate me, to keep me, to force me to be with you."
"Your answer then was that you would never let me become a woman who could be slept with for money. But in my dream, that’s exactly what you did."
"I believe your answer, and it was your words that made me completely certain that the you right now is different from the you in my dream. Otherwise, I would have always felt some unease, you know? That dream... it felt too real."
Xu Su didn’t know what the Zhou Mochen of her past life had gone through to make him so determined to keep her by his side, no matter the cost.
If she ever had the chance to go back, she would try to truly understand... what the Zhou Mochen of her past life was really thinking...
But she was certain that the Zhou Mochen of this life was different.
Xu Su gently squeezed Zhou Mochen’s slightly stiff hand. "It was so real that it scared me, and it’s been affecting my perception of you this whole time. You probably noticed. From the very beginning, I wanted to shake you off, to run away from you. I didn’t want to soften up to you, and I refused to even think about what my feelings for you were..."
Zhou Mochen couldn’t listen anymore. He grabbed Xu Su’s waist, cutting her off. "Dreams are fake, Xu Su. You wrote me off from the very beginning just because of a dream?"
The lingering red in his eyes showed his confusion. "I admit the way I pursued you at first was a little off, but I never thought it would scare you enough to give you nightmares. And that you would reject me even more because of a dream... So, are you trying to tell me this is all my own fault?"
His question left Xu Su speechless for a moment...
’He has a point. In Zhou Mochen’s eyes, isn’t it true that I hate him just because of a dream?’
Xu Su didn’t speak for a long time. She just rested her head on his shoulder before slowly saying, "I didn’t want to be affected by the dream either, but I couldn’t help it. In the beginning, whenever I saw you, I’d think about what happened in the dream. I was scared of you and disgusted by you, and I didn’t dare to tell you the truth."
As she spoke, Xu Su started to feel wronged herself. "If it had been any other suitor, I could have just rejected them outright. But you? From the very beginning, you never even gave me the right to refuse. Zhou Mochen, think about it yourself, was that fair to me? Just because you like me, I’m not allowed to reject you!"
Given his behavior at the beginning, being pushed away and disliked was completely normal. Xu Su really didn’t think she had done anything wrong.
Zhou Mochen bent his legs, pulling the girl in his lap into his embrace. "What happened in that ’very real’ dream of yours? Tell me everything. Let me at least know why I’m being condemned."
He slowly stroked her back and lowered his head to kiss the top of her hair. "You just said that in the dream I used money to humiliate you... and forced you to be with me?"
As for the word "keep," Zhou Mochen turned it over in his mind a few times but just couldn’t bring himself to say it.
He was both furious and indignant. He couldn’t believe that she was only sixteen when they first met, yet she could dream of such things. And to top it off, she believed a dream so completely.
"..." Xu Su knew her story about the dream sounded absurd, but her past life truly felt like a dream.
She couldn’t tell him the truth about her past life experience. Otherwise, with his sharp perception, he would probably figure out something was wrong.
Xu Su thought for a long time before speaking. "I don’t clearly remember the specifics of what happened in the dream. It’s just that after I woke up, the feelings of oppression and suffocation, along with the disgust and fear I felt toward you, still lingered."
"Is that so?" Zhou Mochen nodded slowly. "Then tell me what you do remember clearly. You can’t have forgotten everything, right?"
His insistent probing made Xu Su feel both helpless and annoyed, and her tone became sharp. "What else is there to remember? In the dream, something happened to my family and we had to ask you for help. And then you gave me money to make me be with you!"
Xu Su viciously pinched his cheeks. "In my dream, you were a despicable low-life who took advantage of my family’s crisis! You only knew how to use schemes and power to force me! Zhou Mochen, anything I did to torture you after that, you completely deserved it, you know that?"
Thinking of that gray-haired Zhou Mochen, Xu Su’s eyes suddenly reddened, and she ground out through clenched teeth, "I would never feel sorry for you! Even if you worked yourself to death, I wouldn’t feel a shred of pity!"
But the way she looked, she didn’t seem like someone who felt no pity at all.
Zhou Mochen’s brow furrowed. He was starting to believe that this dream really had affected Xu Su.
"Xu Su, don’t tell me you rejected me because of a dream, and now you’re accepting me because you feel sorry for the person in that dream."
This was just too ridiculous...
Zhou Mochen held Xu Su’s face in his hands, staring at her without blinking. "Come on, answer me. What was the catalyst that made you suddenly realize you liked me?"
Xu Su’s heart skipped a beat. She could feel the recently eased atmosphere in the room growing tense again, and for some reason, she didn’t dare to speak.
But Zhou Mochen was clearly determined to get an answer. Xu Su stammered for a while, and when she saw there was no way out, she finally mumbled, "In my eyes, the you in the dream is still you. Zhou Mochen, people dream at night what they think about by day, right? You can’t possibly be jealous of the person in my dream, can you?"
’Feeling sorry for the him in the dream, so she chose to accept the him in real life?’
Zhou Mochen had considered countless reasons for Xu Su’s sudden change in attitude, but he had never imagined the truth would be this absurd!
If her affection was decided by a dream, then what did that make him? What did his two years of pursuit and effort count for?
Just what kind of dream was it to have affected her so deeply?
For a moment, Zhou Mochen didn’t know whether he should be more bothered by the existence of that Xi Zirong at her school, or by the damn version of himself in her dream!
For a split second, his expression turned sinister. Facing him directly, Xu Su saw it clearly and felt a wave of helplessness. ’Is he really getting competitive with the man from my dream?’ 𝚏𝕣𝕖𝚎𝚠𝚎𝚋𝚗𝐨𝐯𝕖𝕝.𝕔𝐨𝕞
And this was all without him knowing that everything in the dream was something she had personally experienced...
