Living Only For Myself: Make Those Who Hate Me Regret It-Chapter 215: Xu Su, Are You Lying to Me Again?
Actually, she was right. From start to finish, he had been the one pursuing her relentlessly.
How ridiculous, wasn’t it? He’d watched over her for two years, only for her to date someone else for a year right under his nose.
Xu Su remembered that time as well. She guiltily touched his left cheek, the very spot she had slapped.
She wanted to kiss him but was stopped cold by his icy gaze. A lump formed in her throat, and she forced herself to sound defiant. "Don’t get the wrong idea. I hadn’t even agreed to be with him back then. Besides, even if I didn’t have a boyfriend, you still forced a kiss on me. That was completely out of line. I’m not going to apologize."
’Who pursues a girl like that?’ Thinking of how he’d said all girls play hard to get, Xu Su decided once again that he had thoroughly deserved that slap!
’That’s right! He totally deserved it!’
"Oh..." Zhou Mochen’s smile didn’t waver as he asked her slowly, "What did you like about him? For the past two years, you’ve been nothing but cold and sarcastic toward me, filled with disdain. But what about him? Tell me, how did that Xi Zirong manage to win you over and make you agree to date him?"
’That smile is terrifying...’
"..." Xu Su was stumped by the question. She took a deep breath and was silent for a long moment.
Zhou Mochen gritted out through clenched teeth, word by word, "What? Is the question that hard to answer? You were so worried I’d find out, yet you still said yes. Just how much did you like this person you had to hide from me to date?"
His expression, which clearly showed he wouldn’t let it go until she gave him a straight answer, put Xu Su in a difficult position. She wasn’t very good at dissecting her own feelings and couldn’t articulate what exactly she had liked about Xi Zirong.
Her prolonged silence made Zhou Mochen’s expression darken further. He suddenly let out a cold laugh and pressed his hand to her chest. "Let me ask a different question. Who is in here?"
What kind of look was that? It was cold, desperate, and crazed, like a death row inmate awaiting his sentence.
Her breath caught in her throat. Xu Su rushed to explain, "I like you, Zhou Mochen. Please, just believe me this once. I’ve actually liked you for a long time. If I hadn’t realized I liked you, I never would have broken up with Xi Zirong."
Xu Su threw herself at him, kissing his eyes in a frantic, clumsy mess. She couldn’t bear to see that look in them for another second. "I always hated your thuggish behavior and your domineering threats. I never even stopped to examine my own feelings; I just wanted to get as far away from you as possible."
At this, she couldn’t help but complain, "It’s not entirely my fault, you know! You have no idea how awful you were back then. You treated me like I was your property after meeting me just twice. Weren’t you just forcing me to hate you?" 𝒇𝒓𝒆𝒆𝙬𝒆𝒃𝓷𝒐𝓿𝙚𝙡.𝒄𝓸𝒎
The girl’s initiative to kiss him dispelled some of the gloom surrounding Zhou Mochen. He held her by the waist, closing his eyes and letting her do as she pleased, truly feeling her attempts to soothe him.
’The pain churning inside me feels a little better...’
’Just like this... Keep kissing me, just like this...’
After a long silence, he suddenly asked an unexpected question. "So, what was the reason you got together with him? Was it to defy me?"
Xu Su faltered. Shen Chen had asked her something similar...
She never imagined Zhou Mochen would ask such a thing. He was an incredibly proud man, yet here he was, asking if she had gotten with someone else just to defy him, rather than out of genuine affection...
And what’s more, he seemed to ask with a hint of hope...
Xu Su knew that all she had to do was say she didn’t like Xi Zirong—that she only got together with him to spite him—and most of Zhou Mochen’s anger would vanish.
Even if she had kissed and hugged someone else, he would let it go for that one absurd reason.
But Xu Su couldn’t bring herself to lie to him again.
She gave a bitter smile and spoke slowly. "Zhou Mochen, I don’t want to lie to you. When I got together with Xi Zirong, I don’t know if, deep down, part of me was trying to defy you. But I did like him. I wouldn’t have said yes if I didn’t feel something for him."
Her voice was still so pleasant to the ear... but every word felt like an axe striking his heart, mocking his delusions.
’He was still fantasizing that she’d never liked anyone else...’
Zhou Mochen squeezed his eyes shut, his face twisting for a moment. "You’re pushing me to kill someone. I just told myself that as long as you didn’t have him in your heart, I could forgive what you did. I was in the wrong, too. I shouldn’t have used such forceful methods to pursue a young girl like you."
He opened his eyes and looked at her, his voice very soft. "But Susu, how could you have actually liked him?"
A requited relationship, a first love in one’s youth... ’Can that kind of feeling ever truly be forgotten?’ Zhou Mochen’s eyes filled with a lost expression.
After two lifetimes together, how could Xu Su not know what bothered Zhou Mochen the most?
After her genuine confession, she actually felt relieved and decided to lay all her cards on the table.
"You know what? After I got together with Xi Zirong, I was always scared. What would I do if you found out? I was afraid of your ruthless methods, afraid you’d go crazy, afraid you’d go after Xi Zirong, and afraid you’d force me to stay by your side."
"But later on, more than any of that, I was terrified that you’d be heartbroken if you found out. Zhou Mochen, do you understand what I’m saying?"
Xu Su rested her head on Zhou Mochen’s shoulder. "You can let your imagination run wild. I promise I like you more than you think. I know it sounds a bit ridiculous, but I truly didn’t understand what it meant to like someone before."
The room fell silent, the only sounds being their breathing and their heartbeats.
’She’s really good at placating people,’ he thought. ’But how many of her words are true, and how many are lies?’
After a long silence, Zhou Mochen suddenly gripped Xu Su by the shoulders and firmly pushed her away. Their eyes met for a moment before the corner of his mouth curled into a smile. "Answer one more question for me."
Xu Su nodded, readily agreeing. "I’ll tell you anything."
She had been this honest already; she figured there was nothing left to hide.
But her confidence lasted barely a second before his next question stumped her again.
Zhou Mochen asked, "According to you, you didn’t know what it meant to like someone. So what was the turning point that made you realize you liked me?"
"..." Xu Su froze, like a cat with something caught in its throat.
Seeing her reaction, Zhou Mochen’s expression hardened. "You can’t answer this one either? Xu Su, are you lying to me again?"
’Of course. I shouldn’t have believed a little liar’s words. I’m such a fool. She says a few sweet things and my heart softens, making me willing to forgive everything...’
Xu Su quickly shook her head, terrified that all her efforts to soothe him would go to waste. She gritted her teeth. "I’ll talk! I’ll talk, all right?!"
’I definitely can’t tell him about my rebirth,’ she thought. ’But Zhou Mochen is not an easy person to fool. His eyes seem to see through everything. A careless lie will only backfire.’
Xu Su weighed her options for a few seconds, took a deep breath, and decided to tell a half-truth. "Do you know why I was always so hostile toward you?"
Zhou Mochen was focused on undoing her topknot, gently sliding a hair tie from her hair. He seemed to pay her words no mind, only saying casually, "Let’s hear it."
