Irwin's Journey - The Cardsmith-Chapter 306: Baby steps
The tiny ember that just thought of herself as me, rushed through lava, sensing where she was going based on the ambient soulforce. All alone, far down in the depths, her instincts told her she had to be very careful about predators.
She, a term she'd learned recently after her form solidified even more. Her base thoughts had started moving from animalistic and instinctive to proper thoughts, something she didn't really understand but was very happy about. Due to this, she'd understood one very important thing.
Something was very wrong.
The first years of her life were a blur of moving around from hot spot to hotspot, playing with the other embers, and staying out of range of the lumbering large brutes that were the earth titans, not that she knew they were called that at the time. And even if she had, she enjoyed how the old one called them more.
Stupid stonefishies!
The thought was clear and sharp, as many had started becoming. Each time she passed through a certain type of shimmering soulforce, her thoughts seemed to become just a bit better, and her form a bit more set.
It was much better than before.
A year ago, she and the others had gone back to be with motherheat, only to find she had changed. She had a dangerous extra something to her that scared off the embers. Me hadn't understood and almost fled.
It had taken the motherheat many cycles of the great heat to explain that she was not sick and dangerous but had become stronger in another way. The cold inside of her was nothing but fuel. Me still didn't understand what that meant, but she believed the heatmother. Sadly, by the time she did and might have convinced the others, two of her heatsisters had already gone missing, and no matter what me had done, she just couldn't find them.
She'd been searching below, in the deepest parts she dared go, for a long time, but she couldn't stay anymore. Where the silly stonefishies had been mostly content with swimming in the depths, sometimes coming up to where she was to try and eat her, it had always been calm. But at some point, things had changed. Now, some of them had come up, agitated and angry. They kept hunting her and other embers, chasing them!
Me had sensed something wrong with them, though she didn't know what. Just wrong.
A wobble ran through the lava around her, and she felt the ambient soulforce surge as one of the stonefishies moved down.
Had it heard her think? Could they do that now?
She hesitated, worried for a moment, and her base instincts almost took over, making her hide in a geode for a very long time. Then she sensed the stonefishy continue down in a straight line, either not perceiving her -which wasn't weird, she was so small!- or ignoring her, which was fine too!
With little perception of time, she continued up until she sensed a nearby underground river of pyroflux. Happy, as it would increase her speed, Me shot through the lava, finding a path through the narrow, winding cracks, holes and tunnels.
As she finally shot out into the clear liquid, she smiled. Her new eyes again saw more than red and black. She'd only had them for a short while before she went down, and she really enjoyed using them, even though they seemed horribly limiting. Why they were such a big deal when you couldn't even use them while traveling through the lava was beyond her, but she liked them anyway!
Swirling along the narrow tunnel, she made her way up, feeling the powerful pull of many of the two-legged ones. The place had a name, but she always found it hard to understand, just that it was the place next to the volcanic one. She knew if she went there, she'd eventually recognize the path and find the beautiful cave in the old one's home. Perhaps the two not-embers would be there! She remembered how they had solidified, a powerful moment she hoped to experience soon. She was further than all her heatsisters, after all!
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Another undefinable period later, she sensed another ember, swimming along a short tunnel before dashing into a cave, then back into the tunnel.
Fleeing? Hiding?
Me didn't know, but she had to check. What if there was one of the stonefishies hunting in the tunnel above? She'd have to go back and find another way. Better to know now! Besides, perhaps the much smaller ember wanted to come?
Me shot forward, using her stronger form to overtake the other ember until it sensed her.
A barrage of fear and worry came, mixed with images of hiding with many others, protected by a two-legged.
Me instantly recognized the heatsignature attached to the memories, ignoring everything else.
Heatmother!
What was she doing down below the surface?
Come with me!
Her thought was strong as she sent it to the other, causing it to waver. Another barrage of pain, being hunted by something horrible, came.
Me felt her fear grow. The absence of heat! A blueish color that hurt her mind's eye. She hesitated. Was the heatmother sick? She had made it clear she wasn't… but the blue was the same as Me and the others had sensed within her. Well, not exactly the same, but close.
The other sent more images of another two-legged, but very different. Almost completely blue, with a core that absorbed heat and changed it into not-heat.
Cold!
The word bubbled up from the memories of the heatmother's talk. So not heatmother. Still, she shivered as she inspected the image again before focussing on the other, who seemed very afraid.
Come, be safe. Show me! she said. She knew the other would come. Her thoughts were far too unclear, and she was very far from solidifying. That made her easy to bring.
She wasn't surprised when a tentative positive emotion came to her, and Me quickly began swimming back up, now with one ember behind her, guiding her to the Heatmother.
It didn't take too long, or atleast, it felt short to her, when they finally raced up a very thin crevice. The end was so narrow she could only barely fit, and ended in a large lake. Dozens of other embers were there, and waves of excitement came from them.
What? Heatmother is with someone?
Me had no idea what was going on as she shot up, but she felt the abundance of heat and ambient soulforce above the surface of the Pyroflux. It was a roiling, chaotic mass that had something familiar to it which beckoned to her. Many of the others were flying around, swimming through bands of something that was like the yellow mist but pale silvery and much hotter.
As Me rose up and out, she saw the heatmother together with another, two-legged. One that burned with soulforce almost as bright the old one. A memory, one of her very first, so deeply ingrained in her mind that it was an intrinsic part of her, popped up. A large man was lying on a bed of pale sand, his gleaming skin like the veins of metal deep below the surface. The heat that came from him in simmering waves was intense and beautiful and a lot like her own.
Heatfather!
She had no idea how he was here, but she wanted to rush toward him. The only reason she stopped was because heatfather held heatmother close, and was causing the heat in the cave to go up and up even more. It was closing in on the temperatures much lower, and Me was confused. Something was wrong? She flew closer and then saw it. Heatmother was hurt!
She swam around them, closer than the others, watching heatmother's core heat. It was dangerously low.
Worry and fear jostled the part of her that thought clearer, and a moment later, she was swimming around like the others, her mind all instinct.
Time flowed by like the pyroflux, and Me had no idea how long it took her to finally regain her clarity. But when she did, the heat had dropped again, and she was back in the pyroflux lake.
Heatmother and heatfather were softly talking, both with their feet in the lake, sitting close together.
--
"And then I found you," Irwin said, grinning. "A good thing because you didn't look like you were doing too well."
Scintilla barely held back the desire to stroke his face. That grin should be outlawed!
"I would have survived," she said, and when he raised his eyebrow, she snorted and squeezed his hand. "Probably."
"So, what did you do the last few years?"
Scintilla felt her smile fade, focusing on the pyroflux, watching the tiny embers swim around. She had hoped it wouldn't come up yet, and they could remain like this for a bit longer. She had thought many times about how to talk to Irwin when she finally found him, fantasizing about how he would forgive her, but now that he sat there, she feared the other options. The nightmares she'd had were he told her he didn't ever want to see her again.
It took her a few moments to calm herself. What was she? Fourteen? She was a full-grown blademaiden who had fully solidified, and a mother. The thought made her glimpse at the embers, noting the large one which was her's and Irwin's. It was swimming around with the others, very close to solidifying. It surprised her that her mother hadn't kept her in the family lakes yet.
Knowing she was procrastinating, she sighed and began talking.
"After I returned, I was put under house arrest for a year before being sent out on missions in the outskirts of the country. Most were just dealing with troublesome wildlife," she said, glimpsing at Irwin.
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How much did he know? Did he…? She shook her head. She knew her mother. Tiscian would have told him.
Fine, let's just get this over with, she thought.
"I presume you heard about what happened?" she asked.
His powerful, calloused hand squeezed slightly, and she decided that was probably a yes.
"When I returned, it was quickly determined that I had broken the rules. After I got chewed out by Mother and some of the other older Blademother of my family, I was told I wasn't allowed off-world again. I should have guessed that, but," she shrugged. "Too hotheaded, stubborn, and unable to control her emotions, is what they said. The result? A loss that would take generations to restore."
"Tiscian didn't explain it all, but she said Ignitzians are sent out when they are most likely to form heatbonds? Some sort of test?"
She sniffed. "Not just a test, but yes. They sent us out in the hopes we bring back powerful embers. I still think it's the stupidest thing ever, but my opinions weren't of interest to the Smokeblades."
She told him about the back-to-back days of standing in front of the room full of aunts, great-aunts, and her great-great-something grandmother, getting chewed out and grilled, shouted at, and berated.
"In the end, they even punished mother," she said.
She grimaced as she recalled that moment when the others had turned to her mother and started second-guessing her skills as a parent and laying part of the blame for her daughter's actions on her shoulders. She had wanted to sink into the ground or run, but instead had been forced to stand there as her mother calmly stood there saying nothing.
"Now she isn't allowed to raise any new blademaidens," she said, letting out a weary sigh. She felt so tired all of a sudden.
"You didn't know all of this would happen," Irwin said, and although it wasn't a question, she answered it anyway.
"No," Scintilla said, her anger suddenly flaring up. "A test of character, they call it!"
"So, they sent out their young warriors during their most troublesome time, not telling them what the consequences of not abiding by the rules are," Irwin said, and Scintilla could hear a slight tinge of anger. "I find it hard to believe that none in your family shared heat without asking first."
Scintilla glared at a rock on the opposite wall and snorted. "Ohhhh, but many did! But those never returned. You see, a few generations ago, it was common knowledge of what would happen if you broke our family's ways. I found dozens of mentions of lost Blademaidens in the family's memoires, and if you read between the lines, it is clear that it was an accepted fact that most of them just chose not to return because they broke the rules."
Scintilla focused on his hand, the solid grip, using it to calm down.
He's not let go of my hand… perhaps he isn't angry? she thought before quickly stopping the line of thought and focusing on the story.
"The Matriarchs, in all their wisdom, deemed it time to prevent families from cheating the rules. So they added a new one a hundred years ago. Blademaidens that were of age would be sent out without knowledge and just a set of rules. Those who followed these rules would bring honor to their family, showing it was a line worthy of providing a new matriarch. If they didn't, it showed some hidden flaw.... Politics."
"Ridiculous," Irwin said, and this time, the heat simmering below the surface bubbled up.
Somehow, his anger was the final little nudge Scintilla needed, and scrambling together all her flagging willpower, she turned to look at him, meeting his eyes.
"I am so sorry for sharing your heat without asking. I was caught up in the moment and didn't think. All I wanted was to take something of you along with me because I feared you would die saving your world. I am sorry."
She wanted to add more: ask for forgiveness ask if he was angry with her, but she didn't. Instead, she calmly watched him think.
--
Irwin stared at Scintilla, holding back the desire to hug her. She'd only just recovered, and her complexion was still pale, the soulforce he sensed inside her still out of balance.
Besides, should he just give in to his emotions?
He thought about her words, her apology, and realized something. He wasn't as confused and upset as he had been the last few weeks. Just looking at her made him happy, and the thought of leaving her here seemed like a punishment, not just to her.
"I think the rule of warning someone when you take their heat to create embers is a good one," he said slowly, noticing a look of fear and pain in Scintilla's eyes and quickly continuing. "But I also know many wouldn't care. I don't know about the reason behind your family rules, but I doubt they are put in place for the ones you share heat with. The reason I was angry was because it made me feel like I did what my father did."
As he spoke, Irwin realized just how much truth there was to his words. They seemed to be bubbling up from a place deep within him, the place he pushed the thoughts, worries, and emotions he couldn't deal with over the years. It was a crowded place, and as he spoke, some of the oldest ones seemed to come up, and as they did, he realized they weren't as horrible as he had feared.
"I don't know him, and when I was young, I promised myself I'd never do anything to leave my children without a father," Irwin said slowly. "Even when I heard he'd been killed and couldn't help it, it didn't really change how I felt. Being away from my children-"
As he spoke, his other self swam around the small embers still swimming in his soulscape, feeling a deep affection and connection.
"- made me feel like I'd done what he did- what I thought he'd done. But…”
Irwin sighed as a realization that had grown over the years solidified into a truth he couldn't deny.
"I can't control everything. Sometimes, things happen."
Scintilla was staring at him, a tiny bit of hope in her eyes, and Irwin realized he wanted to see them filled with the love for life he recalled. The quick to anger, quick to forgive, fight, and never surrender flames he'd seen back on Scour.
Not sure what more to say, and the stream of words suddenly cut dry, he opted for the only other thing he could think of, and he leaned forward.
--
The little ember watched as the two-legged just kept talking and talking. She wanted to tell them they should move, but she could sense that something important was happening.
Hurry up already!
The thought was much clearer than any previous, and she sensed it had something to do with the heatfather.
As she was distracted, something happened, and heatmother and heatfather's flames soared higher, seeming intent on igniting the very rock of the cave. She was confused as she watched them press together. Were they trying to become one? Silly two-leggeds! That's not how you did that!
After a second, she got bored and started flying around in the cave again, chasing the smaller ones, wondering how long this would continue.
--
Irwin lay on the rock, spent. His clothes were in a heap below his head, and Scintilla lay nestled in his arm, feeling more content than she had in years.
"I still can't believe you are here," she whispered, "I keep thinking I'm just imagining things, perhaps unconscious from some head wound."
She glanced up at him, drinking in his smile. He had become a bit older, more mature, and his silver eyes showed he was working on a hearcard- and not his first. With short and spikey hair and a leather tunic that was mostly in taters, he looked good enough to eat. She felt her excitement burn hotter, but unlike years ago, she was able to control it. If only barely.
Irwin smiled.
"We will need to leave here soon," he said. "There's a chance the earth titan will find us, and I need to check on my friends."
"Did Greldo come?" she asked.
"No, he is with the ship."
"I can't wait to see that…"
Irwin looked at her, humming softly to himself. "Will they allow you to leave?"
"There's only one way I can leave, that is if I flee the family," Scintilla said with a shrug before focusing on him. "Will you let me come with you?"
Irwin felt a wave of surprise at the question. After what they had just done, wasn't it evident he'd want her along? Then he saw the tiny grin and a gleam in her eyes and couldn't hold back his laughter.
"I'm glad you are feeling better," he said. "I might bully you in the future though."
"Bully me? No, no. You forgave me, so now it's all lava under the bridge," Scintilla grinned, crawling a bit further up his chest and leaning on his shoulder. "But there is one thing we need to get out of the way. Do I have your permission to share your heat?!"
Irwin blinked and thought about the five children he already had. Three were already in his mindscape, which left two.
"Only after we find our other children," he said.
Scintilla raised an eyebrow. "So that is a yes?"
"Yes," Irwin said, feeling a sudden, growing worry. "Does that mean we are going to have a lot of embers?"
Scintilla smirked at him, and he saw a tiny bit of stress that had remained in her face fade away. "Would you like that?"
"No!" Irwin said quickly. "Not too many."
"How many are too many?" she asked.
Irwin blinked, staring up at the ceiling and pondering the question. Did he even want more children? He'd barely met three of the five he had and barely even bonded with them!
Scintilla laughed softly, leaning forward and pressing her dry, hot lips to his for a few moments.
"Don't worry," she said as she pulled back." I'm just teasing you. I can't have more embers until my soulfire grows large enough to allow me to split some off again."
"Soulfire?" Irwin asked.
Scintilla looked at him, seemed to debate something, then held up her hand and focused. Very slowly, a tiny golden flame appeared above her hand. Tendrils of a blueish, silvery flame flickered within it.
Irwin felt a beautiful resonance from the tiny flame, and his own soulcard resonated curiously. Before he could stop it, he felt his soulcard's flame, or some core part of it, separate from the card and appear above his chest. It was as small as a finger but burning as bright as the sun with golden, orange, and red flames.
What? How?
Irwin's eyes shot wide as his flame moved a bit closer. What if it devoured Scintilla's!? He rushed to pull it back, only to find there was no need. The two flames seemed to ripple and resonate in tandem, remaining at a safe distance.
Irwin finally tore his eyes from them, looking at Scintilla, who was gaping at his flame.
"Since when did you have a soulfame?" she whispered.
Irwin shrugged, not sure how to answer that. "I have no idea. I didn't know my soulcard could do this."
Scintilla nodded, though Irwin didn't think she really understood. Her mouth hung open as she watched his tiny flame.
"It's something only fire elementals have…" she whispered. "I never heard of a soulcard giving one. Perhaps this is why our embers are growing so much faster!"
"They are?" Irwin asked, raising his eyebrows.
"Yes. Not so fast that it's unheard of, but usually, this only happens when we share heat with full fire elements," Scintilla said.
Her flame vanished, and Irwin sensed his soulcard resonate for a moment longer before his flame retreated. Sensing it vanish into his card, he knew he could probably pull it back out if he had to or block it from doing so again.
Scintilla rolled away and rose, looking around, while Irwin stared at her, his eyes taking in her beautiful curves and sleek muscles. She looked at him, smiled mock-coquettishly, and faked covering herself. Then she smiled and ran off to grab her clothes, muttering when she found some parts had been ripped apart.
"You said we need to find our embers before," Scintilla said as she glowered at a part of her bodice that had been snapped clean in half before opting to tie it up along her waist. "I agree. One is already here, and two should be with mother or close."
"Well…" Irwin said as he pulled his eyes from her long legs and got up. If he didn't stop, they would have to remain here for another good while. "That's not exactly correct."
Scintilla turned to him, her eyes narrowing.
"I've got three here," Irwin said, padding his chest.
"What- In your soulscape?" Scintilla exclaimed. "How!? Are they alright?"
"They are fine," Irwin said. "My otherself is taking care of them, as is Ambraz."
"Other self? No, explain that later. Can I see them?" Scintilla asked, walking towards him, eyes wide.
"Yes, but perhaps we should get the other one in first," Irwin said as he walked to the basin. It was filled with over a hundred embers, but he instantly saw his own. It was the largest one, hovering near the edge and partially out of the water. Her hair was short and stood partially on end like a flaming mohawk, while two eyes like fiery pools of liquid metal stared into his own. They were almost exactly like his were before his heartcard started forming.
"Hey, little one," Irwin said as he got down on a kneel and put a hand in the pyroflux.
Where the other three had been far more cautious, the small ember rushed forward and climbed on his hand.
A barrage of images, emotions, and partial sentences were shot his way, and Irwin's eyes widened.
"What? Is something wrong?" Scintilla hissed next to him.
Irwin looked at her and nodded.
"Something is causing the earth titans to go insane!"