Ihoujin, Dungeon ni Moguru-Chapter 147: A Respite From Adventuring IX

『Team member Souya, please wake up. The number of guards has decreased』

「Hnn?」

I had fallen asleep without realizing it.

In the silent darkness, I could see my breath. The cold air stung my cheeks, but the parts of my body that were in contact with Ea were deliciously warm.

「Ea, wake up」

When I called out to my sister, whose eyes were closed……

「I'm awake. You're the one who was asleep」

……her beautiful blue eyes snapped open.

「Onii-chan, I'll go check things out. Stay here」

Ea put on my top hat and disappeared quietly.

I stretched as I waited for her. The warmth that had soaked into my body was quickly drained by the cold.

「Yukikaze, how many hours did I sleep?」

『Five hours, indeed』

「That’s a heck of an afternoon nap」

『Have you not been sleeping much at night lately?』

「………N, no, that’s not true~」

That's related to my private affairs, so I'll just disregard it.

Ea came back.

「It's doable now」

「Got it」

I got up and hugged my sister again. Invisible thanks to her cloak, we approached the sisters' family home.

The number of guards had been reduced to two.

（So, what do we do now?）

There seemed to be only one entrance to the dwelling.

With the guards stationed right in front of it, even if we were able to hide from their eyes, there was still no way for us to get in.

（Just wait for a moment. I've set up something）

I listened to Ea and waited. One minute went by.

I heard a commotion spreading like a ripple, and when I looked in that direction, I saw smoke rising.

（What did you do?）

（I merely set a small fire）

Hey, are you sure that's a good idea?

（Come on, Onii-chan. Let's go）

The remaining guards went off in the direction of the fire.

It worked, but this isn't something you should do in your homeland that had been ravaged by fire not too long ago, you know?

There was no point in arguing about it right then, so I stuck close to Ea and got moving.

Going on top of the roots at a brisk pace, Ea took the lead and jumped whenever there was a distance between the roots. I jumped after her, then quickly wrapped myself in her cloak to become invisible.

Circling the perimeter of the dwelling we were aiming for, we made it to the entrance without leaving any footprints, then quietly opened the door.

We were able to infiltrate it easier than I expected.

The wooden dwelling had a sense of warmth. It was also more cramped than I expected. There was a set of small table and chairs that were rather charming. That kind of furniture must be uncomfortable for the tall elves, but perhaps there was some significance to them.

「Ea, I think it'll probably be in the basement. Where are the stairs?」

「This way」

She undid the invisibility of her cloak. The place was too cramped, so we wouldn't be able to react quickly if we both still stuck close to each other.

Trailing behind Ea, I entered a small, cozy kitchen. In the exact same configuration as our home's kitchen, there were stairs leading down. As we descended them, my nose picked up a certain smell.

「I've only been down this way once because I hate this smell. Could it be that this is……」

「Yeah, there's no mistaking it」

The smell was of something fermented, like alcohol. It was a smell that I had never come across in this world.

It was warmer in the basement than on the upper floor. Embedded here and there in the wooden floorboards were Akasho stones that were glowing a dull red.

And there were countless barrels arranged in rows.

It looked like a wine cellar, but it smelled just like miso.

「Yukikaze」

『Based on the component analysis of the odor, it's definitely miso』

I held Yukikaze up to light up the place.

The rows of barrels went on for as far as the light allowed us to see.

「That's a lot」

「Whoa, no way. I didn't think there would be this much」

Ea was also surprised.

「Yukikaze, how many barrels are there in total?」

『The miso barrels extend beyond the range of the sensors, so it's unknown, indeed』

This is likely not an amount that can be made in ten or twenty years. It's been thirty years since Alma, the sisters' aunt, disappeared. Unless someone had continued to make it without interruption the whole time, there's no way there would be this much.

That's quite unexpected.

I can hardly believe that the guy who abandoned his own daughters so easily had been continuing his sister's work ceaselessly for so long. I can't help but harbor ill suspicions that they may have had feelings for each other that went beyond brother and sister.

「So, Onii-chan, which ones should we steal?」

「Well, that's the thing. Yukikaze, can you tell the difference in flavor with your sensors?」

『That's beyond Yuikikaze’s sensors' capabilities. Only Makina has sensors that can accurately detect taste』

If that's the case, I have no choice but to choose as best I can.

The problem is, I seriously doubt that I, who's barely a competent cook, can tell the difference between the good and bad when it comes to miso that's made in the alternate world. If only I had brought Rutsuko-san with me.

「Damn, I’m stumped」

I lifted the lid of the nearest one, but I had absolutely no clue. The only things I could figure out were that it was white miso and that it had been aged for only a short time.

It actually seemed to be better than the miso I had at home.

「Onii-chan, you can't tell the difference?」

「I always had complete faith in what they sold in the stores, you see?」

I usually just grab the ones that have the words "the taste of restaurants", but maybe Marukome[1] have labeled it somewhere on these barrels………………there's no way they have.

「The ones by the entryway are relatively new. The further back they are, the older. The ones at the far end were made by Alma, though some had their contents disposed of because they were ruined and are left there as examples of failures. Also, most of them are just fungus beds」

『………………』

Ea and I were absolutely dumbstruck.

The master of the house, Melm Raua Heures, was standing there quite plainly. After giving us a glance, he resumed his work of stirring the barrels of miso.

We hadn't noticed him at all. On top of that, he was wearing tattered work clothes, making it even harder to tell who he was.

「You guys sure took your time. Even though I had gone out of my way to wait for you at the entrance of the forest for a little while」

「Huh?」

Melm's words put a question mark on top of my head.

How did he know we were coming?

「I heard about it from the sneaky young lady of the flame religion. You call it miso or something. You need the fermented food that’s made from soybeans or wheat, right?」

「Eh? Well, yeah」

We must have missed each other.

Come to think of it, the priestess-sama had met with someone from Heures Forest, but could it be that it was this guy?

「You can have it, but there are conditions」

「………Let's hear them」

I have a bad feeling.

「Teach me how to use it to make good food」

「………………Huh?」

「You're a really annoying guy, you know that?」

Melm twisted his face in displeasure.

I've basically never seen this guy without a sour look on his face.

「Wait wait wait......to the untrained eye, I think the miso looks pretty good, but have you been making it without knowing its taste?」

「The texture, consistency, and smell when mixing. The color. The temperature. If I know all that, there's no problem even if I don't know how it should taste. After that, it's just a matter of maintaining them according to Alma's instructions. Besides, I've let Medimu and Lemuria try it in the past, and when I remember how they screwed up their faces at it, it still pisses me off」

It's that kind of entrenched mindset that stops people from challenging new possibilities, you know?

「Onii-chan, let's just K.O. this guy and steal some at random. With the two of us, we can kill him」

「Hey hey」

My sister, who was hugging me from behind, made a very disturbing suggestion.

「Ea, are those the kind of words you should be saying when meeting your father for the first time in a long time?」

「Bleh」

I couldn't see her, but my sister probably turned away.

It can't be helped. This father had abandoned his daughters once. Anything he says now is worth nothing.

However, if I just let things be, we would end up fighting each other. So for now, let's put that aside for the moment and talk about the miso.

「If you want dishes that are made with miso, well, if you don't mind something simple……」

「If it tastes bad, I'm not going to let you have any」

「Onii-chan’s cooking is a royal feast compared to the meager bean soup made by your mistresses. Don't you dare question how delicious it is!」

「I'll judge the taste for myself. Isn't that only natural?」

「That's not what I'm talking about!」

My sister was getting unusually heated.

I had to step in because I didn't like the way things were going.

「I don't know if you'll like it or not, but I'll at least make it for you to try. Leave the complaints till after you've tried it」

「Alright, which one do you want to use?」

「Then………………」

If I can't tell which ones are good or bad, I'll just use both, I guess.

「I'll use this new white-ish one and……do you have one that has turned reddish-black?」

「One that's over two years old, huh? This way」

I followed Melm. It was rather difficult to walk with my sister clinging tightly to my back.

I lifted the lid of the miso that was over two years old and gave it a once-over. It was proper red miso. Its smell and color seemed to be at a level where it could be sold normally in stores.

「For now, this one too」

I put the two kinds of miso in a bucket intended for just that and then left the basement.

Upstairs, I got started cooking in the cozy kitchen.

After changing clothes, Melm sat down at the table and stared intently at us. I was concentrating on my work, so I ignored him.

「Onii-chan, I've got a good idea」

「Oh? What is it?」

As I was looking through the available ingredients, my sister came up with a suggestion.

Whenever my sister makes such suggestions, I usually just trust her and do what she says. In fact, I think Ea is really good at cooking. The day when she surpasses me is near.

「It's cold today, and this house only has very meager cooking equipment, so it's gotta be that, right? That」

「Aah~ nabe(hotpot), huh?」

「It sucks that I'll have to eat from the same pot as him though」

「Let's do that. As expected of you, Ea」

「Fufu, feel free to praise me more」

She looked a little less grumpy.

After rifling through the kitchen cabinets rowdily, Ea found a deep-bottomed pot. She washed it quickly with some stored water. While she was at it, she also washed the vegetables that we were going to use.

「Onii-chan, let's use these for the broth」

Ea had some dried mushrooms in her hand.

「I’ll leave it to you」

「Leave it to me」

She dropped the mushrooms into the pot, which she had filled with water.

I have no idea what kind of mushrooms they are. But they're in the kitchen, so they shouldn't be inedible.

After lighting the firewood on fire, I put the pot on the stove.

I began cutting up the vegetables that Ea had washed. First, I cut the tomatoes and diced the garlic. Next, I cut the cabbage into chunks, and the onions and potatoes into bite-sized pieces. I found some of the dried meat that adventurers often ate, and carefully sliced it into thin strips.

「Huh?」

With the kitchen knife in my hand, something tickled the back of my mind, giving me pause.

「………………?」

But nothing came to mind.

Well, it's probably nothing important anyway.

「Ea, I'm putting the ingredients in~」

「Okay~」

I put all the meat and vegetables into the pot. I also added a dash of alcohol.

The best thing about nabe is that you can be as bold and creative as you want, and it’ll still taste good.

I covered the pot with a lid. While waiting for it to heat up, I shredded some cheese to add as a finishing touch, then mixed the two kinds of miso together.

Ea added water to some wheat flour and kneaded it, using the rolling pin to pound it every now and then.

「Jeez, this house! It’s so cramped!」

Ea was taking out her frustration about the house onto the dough on the cutting board. Somehow, she was a little scary. 𝐟𝙧ℯ𝑒𝒘𝐞𝒃𝗻𝒐ѵ𝘦𝑙.com

「Melm-sama, what's that sound?」

From the room adjoining the kitchen, another elf peeked in. She was a slender young girl with the kind of beauty typical of elves, but with a touch of innocence about her. I reflexively pulled my top hat lower to hide my face and ears.

「Rion, it's nothing, so go back to your room」

Melm's voice sounded a little gentler. However, Ea reacted to the woman's presence.

「Eh, you're kidding. Why are you in this house, Rion?」

「Ea-sama! Have you returned home?!」

「I'm only stopping by for a while, and I'll be gone soon. Wait, could it be?!」

Ea glared at Melm.

「Rion, I'm sorry, but don't get in the way」

「I, I’m so sorry, Danna(husband)-sama」

The young girl, who was about to leap at Ea, bowed her head and returned to the room at Melm's urging.

However, she was showing no intention of moving any further away from just behind the door.

「Explain yourself!」

「What is there to explain? She's just my mistress. The fi, no, third one」

He was about to say "fifth" there, wasn't he?

「I've changed her diapers before! Do you know how old she is?!」

「Though she's eight years younger than you, she's an adult. She's already gone through the coming-of-age ceremony. You're already an adult physically, so stop acting like a child all the time」

「Just whose fault do you think it is that I couldn't go through my coming-of-age ceremony?!」

「The fool knights stationed in Lemuria and the fool who burnt down the forest in order to defeat――――」

With all seriousness,

I threw the kitchen knife at Melm.

Without even batting an eyelid, Melm caught the kitchen knife between two fingers and, with just a flick of his wrist, threw it back at me.

I stopped the kitchen knife by clapping it between my palms. If I had missed, it would have buried itself in my face.

Before I knew it, the pissed-off elf had his sword in his hand.

It was a strange, lightweight sword. There were holes that went all the way through along the entire length of the blade and hilt. Rather than a sword, it looked more like a piece of silverwork.

No matter how I look at it, it doesn't seem to be a sword capable of cutting people, but that’s exactly why I’m wary of it. How far I can push it in a sword-fight with an unfamiliar Rmir steel sword, I wonder.

「O, Onii-chan」

「It's fine, Ea」

「Eh? No no no, what part of this is "fine"?」

It'll be decided in an instant.

The distance between us is too close. It's as if both of our blades are already at each other's throats.

「Melm, there's a saying I want to teach you. "When you utter an insult, stake your life on it"」

This is something that the brave warriors of the Myriad Kings, who love to fight, always say.

Although the armies of the Myriad Kings are full of muscle-heads, they choose their words carefully when provoking others, especially if it affects their pride. If they aren't careful, it could lead to a fight between entire clans.

That said, there will still be thoughtless ones who insult others lightly. And those who don't respond to those insults with their fists aren't considered brave warriors.

That's why, when a fight breaks out, both sides will duke it out without saying a word. At the end of the fight, both the winner and the loser will part in silence. And the words that had started the fight will be considered to have never been said.

Now, I don’t know if Melm knows about this custom or not……

「………………」

……but he didn't say a word.

I wordlessly took a step forward……

「Onii-chan!」

「Yeowww!!」

……and my sister pulled on my right arm as hard as she could. I felt an electric shock shoot up my elbow and my muscles tensed up.

Oh, I had completely forgotten.

I had forgotten about the condition of my elbow.

That was dangerous. If I had drawn my sword with my arm like this, I would have died.

「The nabe, it's boiling」 ｆ𝘳e𝒆w𝗲𝐛𝘯𝐨νe𝚕.cｏ𝓶

「Yeah」

I switched places with Ea and went over to the pot. I covered it with a cloth, then removed the lid. I removed the scum as it simmered away.

There was another pot next to this one, and after filling it with water, I put the pieces of what looked like rice cakes that were floating on top of the bubbling broth into it.

「If you hurt Onii-chan, I'll never forgive you, got it?」

Having taken over the baton, Ea confronted Melm.

「Ea, take a good look at reality. That man there is a Hemu and you're an elf. Sooner or later――」

「Shut up」

「You……how dare you tell your father to shut up?」

「The Akasho stones in the basement. Why didn't you just give them to the people? What are you planning?」

「They're needed to regulate the temperature in the basement. That thing you call miso is sensitive to changes in temperature」

「Even though there's no guarantee that it's worth any money, you're willing to let your people freeze for it?」

「It's worth is………something you guys are deciding right now」

「It's for my aunt's sake, isn't it? Even though you treat women like trash, only that person is special, huh?」

Ea's voice was icy cold.

Despite standing in front of a piping hot pot, a chill ran down my spine.

「Listen, that and me are――」

「I don't care about any of that. What's important is that if we don't show the value of miso, people will freeze to death in this forest」

What is she talking about?

I wanted to ask her, but I was busy removing the scum.

「This winter has been unusually cold. Moreover, there are few elves in Heures Forest who are wealthy enough to donate to the flame religion. What did you donate to get the Akasho stones in the basement? Which wife's jewelry? Or is it my personal belongings? My sister's? If the miso turns out to be worthless, will you donate the sword that you’re carrying next? More than anything, all the frustrations directed at the world outside will soon begin to turn inwards」

「Without the miso, you guys can't make――」

「If you’re talking about the ramen, we can complete it without your miso. Since I've gotten this」

I glanced briefly at Ea.

In the small bottle she held in her hand, there was a piece of something white.

Is that a fermentation starter, I wonder?

「………………To think that you'd learn to pick pockets」

「Thanks to a certain someone, we were destitute and had to live on the streets. I had to learn whatever it took to stay alive」

「………………」

「If you don't have anything nice to say, then just shut up like you're doing now」

Melm kept silent.

I wanted to take a look at his expression, but the nabe was almost done. I checked the ingredients to make sure they were cooked all the way through. Everything was okay. After pouring in the miso paste I had mixed earlier, I stirred it in slowly, then sprinkled in the cheese at the end and waited for it to melt.

It was completed.

I placed four plates with wooden spoons and a bowl with a ladle on the table.

「Here you go, it's done. Cheese-tomato miso nabe」

Because of everything that was going on, I had forgotten to taste-test it. Or rather, I just want to go home as soon as possible. This is the worst visit-the-parents ever.

「Aren't you guys going to eat?」

In response to Melm's words, Ea plunked herself down at the table and started to take ingredients out of the pot and put them on her plate. She then began eating with gusto.

My sister certainly has spunk.

「My share………」

「You're not a child. If you want to eat it, take it yourself」

I'll just leave Melm to Ea from now on. It serves him right.

I set four cups and an appropriate-looking bottle of alcohol that I found in the kitchen on the table then sat down next to Ea. I poured for myself and Ea.

Melm can go to hell.

「Wow, it's so delicious. As expected of you, Onii-chan. This flavor is far beyond what elves who know nothing but leaves and nuts can make」

Ea's forehead was beading with sweat as she ate the nabe. At the rate she was going, she'd finish it all by herself.

I wanted to take my own share, but the ladle was snatched away before I could.

Melm checked the ingredients one by one as he filled his plate at an oddly slow speed.

But I have to say, when I look at him and Ea in turn, the two of them are really beautiful elves who look very alike. Which makes it all the more aggravating.

Will there ever be a time when I get along with this guy? I can't imagine it.

「Hmm」

Melm let out a quiet exclamation after taking a bite of an onion.

He would not say "delicious" but ate in silence. I took my own share and started eating.

After blowing on them, I ate the flavorful cabbage along with the thinly sliced meat. The flavor of the miso and tomatoes came together well, and it was delicious.

It's frustrating, but it's also thanks to the miso that this guy made.

「It’s delicious」

In front of delicious food, I expressed my honest impression.

I don't want to become a person who can't even say such things.

「Yeah, it's delicious. We should let Onee-chan and Lanseal try this later」

「As for how to make this, do you just add all these ingredients and put it on the fire?」

I answered Melm's question.

「The ingredients will release scum when boiled, so be sure to remove it diligently. The miso diminishes in flavor the longer it simmers, so it should be added only at the end after the pot has been removed from the fire. That's about all you need to take note of」

「………I see」

Melm went back to eating the nabe.

He didn’t say what he thought of it, but from his expression, it doesn't seem to taste bad to him. That's fine for now. It's not like hearing his honest impression is going to change anything for me.

『………………』

The conversation had died, so we ate in silence.

I had made enough for the girl called Rion as well, but I suppose making her join this stifling atmosphere would be a bit like a punishment game. I too can only remember the taste of the first bite. I was reminded once more that the atmosphere is also a crucial factor in the taste of a meal.

So, I tried my best to finish all the ingredients in the pot as quickly as possible. When I thought it was finally going to be over, Ea spoke up.

「Let's cap it off with some “suiton[2]”」

There was still some broth left. Ea took the pot back to the kitchen, added the boiled suiton that I had put aside, and put it over the fire again.

With Melm and me alone at the table, the terrible atmosphere became even worse.

「Does Ea cook often?」

「I guess」

Is it so strange for your daughter to cook?

「She's a woman who will eventually become the princess of the elves. Menial tasks like cooking should be left to servants」

「What's wrong with a princess who can cook?」

Even though Lanseal is also good at it.

「It's not a task for royalty」

「………………」

We don’t see eye to eye at all. Could the reason why the king of adventurers is bald be because he has to deal with this guy?

「It's done~」

The steaming pot with suiton added was placed back on the table.

I couldn't taste anything anymore, so I just ate it up quickly.

「So, how was it?」

After she had finished eating, Ea immediately turned to Melm.

「Well………………it was delicious. Low-class―――――」

「Did you hear that?! Onii-chan! As expected of you!」

With great vigor, Ea cut off his superfluous words.

I took advantage of her thoughtfulness to move things along.

「So, are you going to give us the miso? If it’s used to make the ramen, it becomes a donation of value to the flame religion. But not to the extent that you can get enough Akasho stones for the people of Heures Forest」

「………………I'll give it to you. But there are other conditions」

「………………What are they?」

As I thought, he's going to milk this for all it's worth, huh?

「I want a merchant company that you're on good terms with to buy the miso, and if possible, on a regular basis」

That's a surprisingly normal condition.

If the ramen is well-received, there will likely be those who would like to buy the miso for their own consumption. Or rather, I myself would like to buy it.

「I can agree to have them buy it on a regular basis, but you'll have to promise to leave the price completely up to me. If you try to raise the price just because it becomes popular and sells well, the deal will be off」

Considering this guy's personality, I can see him doing just that.

「Alright, I promise. It's only fools who get swayed by the allure of money and end up in a world of hurt」

Was what I thought, but it appeared that I was wrong.

Maybe I've had too little faith in him.

「In that case, I'll arrange for someone to act as an intermediary between you and the Zavua merchant company」

「Ea, you do it」

At Melm's words, a heartfelt look of reluctance crossed my sister's face.

「Absolutely not. Thanks to a certain someone, I have to work as an adventurer, so I don't have the time」

「It's fine even if you only do it when you have time to spare. It's a good way to earn some extra money during the breaks between adventures, isn't it?」

「………Onii-chan」

Ea tugged on my sleeve.

「Can I leave that to you, Ea?」

「………………It can't be helped, so leave it to me」

Certainly, Ea is well acquainted with both the people of the Zavua merchant company and the people of Heures Forest.

She's the best person for the job.

「Then it's decided. Arrange for a wagon to come to the entrance of the forest tomorrow morning. I'll donate this thing you call miso to the flame religion」

「Understood」

I'll have to go back and inform the Zavua merchant company.

A contract for purchasing miso on a regular basis. They won't refuse, I hope? Well, there shouldn't be any problems.

「Alright」

Melm rose from his seat.

Looking down at me, he said.

「Then get the hell out」

I really can't see eye to eye with this guy……

[1] Marukome Co. Ltd. (マルコメ株式会社) is a Japanese miso soup paste producer that’s headquartered in Nagano. Marukome accounts for about 13% of the amount of miso produced in Japan each year, which makes this company one of the leaders in production volume among the over 2,500 miso producers in Japan.(pic courtesy of marukome.co.jp)

As for what Souya is talking about, see the “料亭の味” on the packaging? That’s Marukome’s best-selling line of miso, which includes red and white miso, some variations of which have less salt, are additive-free, or are organic.

[2] Suiton(水団 or water dumpling) is a Japanese dish that is made by slicing flour dough by hand, rolling it by hand, and scooping it into small pieces, then boiling it in soup. From the Edo era to the pre-war days, it was a popular dish for normal Japanese people. (pic courtesy of wikipedia and by Rubyran)

Phew, that was a long one. But since there's surprisingly not much for me to talk about, I’ll take this opportunity to speak about a subplot in this novel that is prevalent throughout the entire story but will never be brought up explicitly by the author. And it’s Souya’s daddy issues. If you recall, Souya is bitter about his father abandoning him and only caring for his sister(since he specifically points this out and pinpoints his father when he had no reason to and despite his mother also doing the same), and I’ve also mentioned before to look out for how he tends to gravitate towards “father figures” in this story to fill that void.

I’ll get the easiest one out of the way first: King Lemuria, the king of adventurers(and possible father-in-law). Souya starts out with respect for him, but as he slowly gets to know Lemuria, that respect has been slowly disappearing and due to recent events, this relationship is completely in the dumps right now.

Next: Medimu, the father of adventurers. This is someone he has been calling “Father(Otou-san)” throughout the entire story. You know how they say that if you say something long enough, you can convince anyone, even yourself? Besides that, there have been lots of ups and downs in their relationship, especially after what happened to Irvin, but their relationship has been going well, don’t you think? Souya also still admires his skill and has copied him in many ways. Also, have you noticed how often Souya looks for him to discuss stuff, especially recently?

Lastly: Melm, Souya’s actual father-in-law. He’s pretty much been an asshole all the way through, except…… If you were to ask me to rank my favorite characters in this novel, Melm would be in the top 5. Hard to believe? Yeah, at this point, he hasn't shown up much, but just like Souya, his character is very well written; simple and clear in definition yet executed complexly.

With that, look forward to further antics! We’re more than 2/3 into the volume now, so what do you think the theme of this volume is? Stay tuned!