Help! Five Beast Alphas Want To Breed Me!!(BL)-Chapter 285: Don’t Forget

Calisi;

Darkness is not the absence of light...It is a presence.

And with Avaren, as much as I hate that presence... As much as I dislike the dark, for his sake, I have learned not to discriminate against it.

The darkness presses around me, closing like a tight fist. It’s awkward but familiar in a way daylight never is.

This place has no floor beneath my feet and no sky above my head. Yet, I stand without falling. That’s the power this place holds. The ability to float without drifting. To stay anchored without sinking. Like I always do in this space.

This space bends to me... Or perhaps I bend to it? I don’t know. I stopped questioning the difference a long time ago. As powerful as magic is, there are some things it can never unravel and understand.

A ripple moves through the dark, and then I sense him.

My love...

His aura rolls off me like gentle waves, and I find my muscles relaxing.

Avaren.

He arrives without sound... and without form at first. Just a mist. A recognition deep in my soul.

And then, slowly, the mist takes shape, bending to my darling’s appearance in an almost ghostly form.

"You’ve done well," he commends, and a shiver runs through me at the sound of his voice. I’ve missed it.

His voice doesn’t echo. It hardly does. It just exists inside me... sliding into the folds of my thoughts like it has always belonged there. Filling the spaces. The cracks... the distance.

"I know," I reply with a soft smile, and he hums gently, with approval curling through the space between us.

"Nagari was not an easy gate to slip through. Yet there you are. Inside their walls. Inside their trust." He continues, and I tilt my head slightly as I feel the darkness shift with his pride.

"I told you not to underestimate me. I always knew I would get close." I reply with a shrug, and he huffs.

"You did more than that," He corrects, and my smile grows.

"You embedded yourself." He adds, and I grin.

It’s a compliment. One I accept without false modesty.

"I always do what I say I will," I reply, and for a moment, there is silence.

Not awkward... But calculated. Avaren is never careless with silence. He uses it the way others use knives. And right now, I know he’s fallen silent because he can sense something.

Then he asks, casually... too casually for the tone this conversation is supposed to carry.

"So, what is the next step?" He probes, andI swallow. I already know what he means.

Still, I let the pause stretch. A single heartbeat longer than necessary.

He notices. He always does.

"How do you plan to hurt Elián?" He elaborates.

Neatly, direct and with no embellishments.

The name feels different in my mouth than it used to.

So, I refuse to say it, and that irritates me. For a second, his reply to my question that night replays in my head, and I huff in annoyance. What did he mean he doesn’t want revenge!?

"I haven’t decided," I say instead, and the darkness tightens. Just slightly.

Avaren’s presence sharpens. Like he’s so stunned he needs to lean closer to understand me.

"You haven’t decided," he repeats, and I drag a deep breath.

"No," I respond, and he pauses again.

"Interesting." He notes, and I shut my eyes.

But I do not retreat. I simply turn away from him, staring at something in the distance that does not actually exist.

"Rushing would be foolish." I then add to justify my words, and he hums in amusement.

"Foolish?" He questions with his tone, smooth as always. However, I feel the weight beneath it.

"You have never been one to hesitate, Calisi." He presses knowingly, and I nearly groan.

"I am not hesitating," I reply, almost snapping.

"I am calculating," I add, and once again, there’s a pause.

Then, softer, he adds...

"You sound... careful."

I look back at him then, and his shape flickers. Even though he’s not really here, I can feel the concern radiating off him.

"I am inside a nest of wolves," I say adamantly, refusing to acknowledge the tide I feel twisting in my chest.

"If I move too quickly, they will feel it. I can’t risk it. It’ll ruin all we’ve worked for." I add as I cross my arms over my chest defensively, and he then sighs and moves closer.

"You are one of them now, Calisí, he counters.

"They trust you." He adds, and I scoff.

"No, they don’t. They don’t even trust what I want them to think I am." I add, almost agitated now.

"That has never been something you don’t know how to handle, my love. Earning trust is a web you weave masterfully." He replies, and even though I know he’s right, I don’t affirm it.

"It’s different this time, Avaren," I reply, and there it is again. That thin line of resistance I have been feeling for a while now?

Averin feels it too. I know he does. This is annoying. Why am I suddenly having second thoughts?? Why do I suddenly feel the urge to delay??

Like... hurting Elián is the wrong thing to do!

"Why slow down now, Calisi?" Avaren then asks, with his voice deceptively gentle.

"You wanted him to hurt. You were very clear about that." He adds, and I sigh.

"I still do."

The words come out quickly. Too quickly to be honest, and Avaren does not miss it.

"Do you?" he interrogates.

I laugh softly, the sound echoing, and carrying the heavy conflict I have hidden inside.

"Of course I do." I laugh, but he doesn’t laugh. 𝘧𝓇ℯ𝑒𝓌𝑒𝑏𝓃𝘰𝘷𝘦𝘭.𝒸ℴ𝓂

"Then why delay?" He asks with all seriousness, and fear, guilt and shame mangle inside me.

"Why are you suddenly wavering?" He pushes further, and I sigh.

I’m wavering because when I look at the boy, I don’t see the enemy I built in my head.

Because when he smiles, something in me misfires. Because he seems so pure and... painfully naive!

Because hurting him now does not feel like control. It would feel like... like injustice. A precious flower trampled in a stampede he knows nothing about.

That’s why I’m delaying... but I do not say any of that.

Instead, I tilt my chin up and give Avaren a measured look. A look, I hope, but know can not hide the reluctance in my heart.

"They are suspicious, Avaren. You need to understand that. These are snakes. They are not fools. Deceit is their territory. Don’t think this would be easy." I rant, using annoyance to mask my confusion, and this gets his attention.

"Suspicious how?" He questions, and I shrug.

"Too many eyes. Those brothers watch him like hawks. Their aunt, and one doctor too," I say smoothly.

"This is too risky. Trust needs time to rot properly. I can not rush this." I reply, standing on my first narrative, and he moves closer to me.

"How much longer do you need?" He questions as his hand caresses my cheek.

It’s not truly his touch, but I feel his warmth, and I lean into it.

I miss him.

"I don’t know, Avaren... I’m not sure anymore." A half confession slips out of me.

"If I strike now, it will expose me. I need them to be complacent. I need them open. I need him open." I add, and Avaren stays silent. His mana reads me like it always does.

His scrutiny feels like fingers pressing against glass, searching for cracks, and I stay still. Hoping he doesn’t find what he’s searching for right now.

"And Elián?" he asks quietly.

"Does he suspect you?"

"Yes," I answer truthfully, and the silence stretches. This time, it was not deliberate on my part. I just don’t know what to say.

Averin could push. He could peel this apart. He could force the truth from me if he wanted to... but he doesn’t.

Instead, he exhales slowly.

"Very well." He says as he gently kisses my hair, and relief slides through me before I can stop it.

He notices that too.

"Be careful," he says as his form pats my hair.

"Nagari has teeth." He adds, and I swallow.

"I know," I whisper, but he doesn’t let go of me.

Instead, he wraps his arms around me tighter, as if trying to pull me away from the chaos in my mind.

"And Elián is not as fragile as he appears." He says softly, and I swallow as I remember that night when the boy was so angry he almost killed me.

"I know that too," I answer, and he huffs.

"Do you?" His question lands softly, but it sinks into my heart nonetheless.

"Yes," I say, steadying myself.

"That’s why this must be done correctly," I add, and Avaren nods, once.

"Whatever you need," He then says.

"Resources. Distractions, whatever you need my love...I will assist." He adds,

"I appreciate that," I whisper, and only then does he begin to withdraw— Shape blurring back into shadow.

"Calisi," he adds, pausing.

"Yes?"

"Do not forget why we started this."

I smile again. Slower this time.

"I haven’t," I whisper as the pain of resentment and revenge prick my heart.

"I haven’t forgotten." I try to reassure him, but as the darkness begins to dissolve, I wonder if that’s still true.