Help! Five Beast Alphas Want To Breed Me!!(BL)-Chapter 266: This Is Not Home

Song For This Chapter: Suzume by RADWIMPS feat. Toaka

Elien;

I never fully understood what it meant to care for someone... until Elián.

Sure, I know what it feels like to desire care. To hunger for compassion so badly, your every thought, action... and reaction is a plea for approval.

But to care deeply... genuinely without the taint of expected reciprocation? I only started feeling that when Elián came into my life.

Like a silly little brother, you instinctively always want to protect.

Before Eliàn, I only understood survival.

I was forced to familiarise myself with pain... I was... shaped. To know pain.

To know Endurance... Obedience, and despite how hard I have tried to forget—How hard I have tried to act like the horrors I endured didn’t leave a dent on my soul... I still feel it.

That itchy, hurtful loneliness that envelopes me when I’m not listening to Elián yap, or watching him pout or do something that keeps my heart screaming in panic.

I never had a sibling, nor did I have a friend... Didn’t even have the luxury of someone I could fully trust...

For most of my life, people existed around me like storms or shadows—no, they were like dangerous storms. Shady, unpredictable, and better avoided.

Then Elián came.

Not through a door, not through fate, not through any path I could have imagined.

He just... appeared.

He slipped into the cracks of my dying consciousness like warm fingers sliding into a frozen hand.

He was strange, panicked, too soft to be real... Too gentle and naive to survive...

But light, he was bright too. So bright!

He’s still bright. Bright in a way that hurts to look at.

Bright in a way that made my chest ache with something other than the memories of Balinar’s fists for once...

Elián became the sibling I never had— no, he became more than that.

He became the reason I started believing my life could be something other than torture.

He became the reason I fought hard to survive—the reason I wanted to live again. Seeing life through his eyes... through his heart... is such a blessing.

He’s the reason I care about the baby forming inside us... I never thought I would like the idea of carrying a child... bringing a child forth...

Parenthood has always been a concept I hated, but here I am... protective of and eager to see our baby.

Elian is the reason I started looking at Alphas apart from Lioran without flinching.

Elián is the reason I started believing that maybe, just maybe... I wasn’t meant to die young and forgotten.

He changed everything, and I was finally telling him the truth.

My truth.

The truth about Balinar...

About the beatings, the starvation, the chains—The cruel games meant to break me down until pleading became the only thing I knew...

I hated telling him. I hated reliving it... But the way Elián said I was his best friend?

How was I supposed to deny him anything after that?

So I opened up. I was going to let him in fully.

I was going to tell him how Balinar trained me to kill—and to please... how Balinar tried to twist me into something obedient and hollow.

I was also going to tell him how I fought. How I refused.

...How I clawed tooth and nail to keep something sane alive inside me.

I was going to tell him the truth, but then— Everything went black.

I know I was feeling weak. But... this blackout?

To feel a violent, horrifying pull ripping me away from him!?

It felt like someone grabbed my soul by the spine and yanked—hard—dragging me through a pitch-black void and away from everything I know.

At first, it was just silence.

Silence, cold, and... darkness.

Did I die?

The thought slices through me like a blade, and fear grips me so hard I can barely find sanity to hold on to.

Did giving so much of my soul’s energy to both of them finally kill me?

I have thought about it before—quietly, privately—if the constant drain of my energy would eventually take me out.

I’ve been feeding the baby for days, pouring my strength into a life that is still too fragile to hold itself.

Is this the cost?

Did I walk willingly into death without realising it?

Elián doesn’t know, but using his powers that night left a massive toll on him. One that could kill him. He only survived because there’s two of us. Where his soul couldn’t hold up, mine compensated.

He may have healed externally, but on the inside, I could feel his exhaustion. And I lied to him. I wasn’t just feeding my energy to the baby; I was giving parts of my energy to him, too.

That’s why he could access our powers so easily when he chilled the room. I guess our souls mingling together makes control of our powers easier.

But all the giving I did... has it finally cost me my life?

Now that I’m no longer there... What will happen to him??

...to our baby??

Where am I now? What happened? What is this darkness? Where am I??

"Elián?" I call into the void, and I’m met with silence.

"Elián, can you hear me?" I push, but still, I hear nothing. Nothing but my echo.

I feel my heart twist and shatter at the mere thought of never hearing from Elián again. The thought of never seeing BeastHeaven... Lioran... the Alphas—

My thought is cut off when a persistent sound like nothing I’ve ever heard before pierces through the darkness.

Beep...

Beep...

Beep...

I pull my eyes open, and blinding, bright, burning white light attacks my eyes.

I quickly pull my eyes shut and wince at the pain. What was that!?

I take a shuddered breath—the first breath I’ve taken in what feels like hours—and air floods into me so fast it hurts.

My eyes remain squeezed shut against the bright white lights above me. It’s too bright, too artificial, too wrong...

And for fucks sake, what is that sound!??

Everything feels off all of a sudden.

The smell... the cold, chemical taste in the air, the steady, high-pitched beeping repeating over and over and over.

Where am I?

Where is Elián?

I open my eyes again, slowly this time, and blink rapidly until the blur of my eyes focuses—

I am in a bed.

A small bed that doesn’t even scratch the surface of the comfort of Gravemaw’s feather beds.

I look down and notice that the sheets are stiff... White... Sterile.

But most distinctively, the sheets are too clean... Too empty. Not like the warm, welcoming bedding one would find in a home.

It’s almost like these sheets have a silent voice, and what it’s singing is. Get out of here.

I lift my hands to look at them, and they shake as though they are shy of my gaze. They are real, they are work... but something is off.

I can’t see those faint lines across my wrists... those barely visible lines that remind me of how many years I spent chained up.

My fingers feel numb, and my body feels... foreign.

My skin looks... like I’ve spent years roasting under the sun...

No.

This body feels... untouched.

Untouched by Balinar’s chains.

Untouched by Gravemaw’s warmth.

Untouched by BeastHeaven’s magic.

Panic shoots up my spine as these terrifying facts begin to fall into place.

This can’t be happening!!

This isn’t my body! I can’t sense Elián!

I turn to my side, and there’s a glass window. I freeze when I see my reflection staring back.

It’s me... but leaner... much leaner... Almost as miserable as I looked while I was under Balinar’s thumb.

Fear gleefully wraps its noose around my neck as I start hyperventilating.

The beeping spikes as my breathing quickens.

"Whoa—hey, hey—" A voice breaks through the haze, and I freeze. Not because I hadn’t realised there was someone else in here, but because of the familiarity of the voice.

"Elián! You’re finally awake!"

My head snaps toward the sound, and I find a man standing beside my bed, dressed in a plain white robe with a strange blue tag hanging around his neck.

His hair is black, short, neat... but that’s not what causes my heart to leap into my throat.

It’s his eyes— His face—

My heart slams into my ribs as I stare at the man who is a dangerously spitting image of Lioran.

He looks exactly like my Lioran.

Same jawline, same gentle, patient eyes... but blue instead of the usual orange... and his hair is different.

Just his eyes and hair are different. Everything else is the same. Exactly the same!!

Build, smile, stride, height...

He smiles brightly as he steps closer to me with the ease of someone who knows me.

Who is this man?

"Hi," he greets sweetly. Almost too sweetly.

"I’m your doctor." He adds, and everything pauses.

Even the blood in my veins.

Doctor.

Doctor?

Lioran’s face, Elián’s name... White rooms, beeping machines.

None of this belongs to the world I know. None of this makes sense.

As this strange doctor smiles at me, I realise something terrifying:

This isn’t home!!

This is Elián’s world!!

I’m in Elian’s body, and somehow, there’s a version of Lioran here...

"You can call me Doctor Leo. I’m here to help you."