Flip the Coin [BL]-Chapter 297. You’re my Dopamine (by Tigerclub)
His memories are so peaceful, his life so simple, his emotions so content—all up to the moment of his violent annihilation.
The first time experiencing the life of a human, and it was such a beautiful life that I feel as if I could settle down here; if I could continue with this life, perhaps I would find happiness and this peacefulness as well.
"Would this be a good life?" I ask the empty shell on the floor.
I stand up and walk around the hut, looking around as I nod.
Maybe staying here would really be the answer; besides, these feelings he had, we have, I have for the woman from the village seem to be reason enough to stay.
"Alright." I nod, putting the knife back on my ankle.
Lifting the straw mattress, I retrieve the necklace made of bones, stones, and flowers.
I walk outside to the big pond and dive into the water before stepping out.
Under the night sky with the stars shining so brightly, with the necklace in my hand, I walk to the village, feeling anticipation to see her and to give her the present ’I’ had made for her.
But not only her; I can’t wait to see the old woman who took care of ’me’ since ’I’ was a child—the close friend of ’mine,’ the dog that ’I’ often take with me when ’I’ go hunting.
I reach the small houses, looking more like tents, and when I find the right one, I feel my heart accelerating—a nervousness that seems to make everything so much more exciting, so much more meaningful.
I lift the thick fabric at the entrance of the tent and step to the sleeping woman.
She herself looks like a piece of art, her skin far darker than I had ever seen before, her lashes unbelievably long, her hair the deepest black—just like ’I’ remember it.
I kneel on the ground, touch her lashes, and bend to give her a kiss when a knife plunges into my guts.
Opening my eyes, I am again astounded by how witty the humans here are.
I smile at her, looking into her dark eyes while holding onto her wrist.
"It’s me, Ken." I use ’our’ language, naturally speaking it fluently.
I pull the knife out from my stomach; if she would have attacked the old Ken, he would have died.
Luckily, my body was already much stronger than that of a normal human being.
She just stares at me.
"What’s wrong? I know I look different, but it is me." I smile at her, still holding onto her wrist while stroking over her lips with my other hand. She remains silent; her gaze wanders to my wound, and I lift my wet shirt, showing her that it had already healed.
"Don’t worry; I am alright."
"Look what I have here. I wanted to propose to you." I lift the necklace for her to see and see a flash of pain flitter across her eyes.
"Is something wrong? Are you injured?" I only notice now that she has been holding her stomach since the moment I entered her tent.
I want to lift her hand to take a look, but she swats it away, striking my jaw with her elbow before she springs up, distancing herself from me.
Her posture tells me she is ready to fight, yet she still holds onto her flat stomach as if inside there were something that had to be protected at all costs. I had only seen this behavior with monsters that...
"Is that... Are you...?" I ask her, holding onto my jaw.
Seeing her eyes turn murderous, I laugh out loud, elated by the news.
"I know it is hard to believe, but it is really me. Do you remember how we met as children? You hated me, but I won you over by gifting you rabbits. You thought I caught them but then found out that I was breeding them in my hut and gave me a beating." I chuckle, thinking back.
With this, she is sure to believe me; no one knew about this memory but ’us.’
Yet she clearly doesn’t let her guard down.
"Is it because of my eye color? Are you scared of me?" I ask her.
It wouldn’t be hard to understand; even my own mother couldn’t look into these red eyes.
Should I get rid of them? But there is so much to see, especially now.
I stand up and walk to her, stepping back when she swings the knife at me.
"I would never hurt you."
I have never killed anyone or anything that hadn’t attacked me first.
I move swiftly, grabbing her wrist yet again, squeezing it until she lets go of the knife; I pull her into my arms, with her back against my chest.
"Don’t hurt yourself or our child." I touch her stomach, even feeling something inside moving, though that’s not possible at this stage.
She grabs my arm and bites into my wrist; simultaneously, something pierces into my back. I turn around and see the old woman holding a spear in her hand, stabbing into me.
"Nana? It’s me, Ken." I tell her, but she just twists the spear deeper into me.
It hurts—excruciatingly.
The situation is getting out of hand, with these women fighting furiously against me, not understanding my identity.
And that is not the end of it; someone else arrives at the tent, a man, my childhood friend, and his dog.
Everyone important to ’me’ is here.
But they all attack me.
I try to talk to them, but not one of them speaks a word.
My childhood friend tries to rip the girl from my hands while the old woman continues to stab me, and still, nobody is speaking.
Why aren’t they speaking?
I try to shield the girl from him, but she resists; the dog lunges at me, and she falls; her head meets a stone inside the tent that she usually uses to grind medicine.
"No!" I look at her lifeless body before I rip the spear out of my body and turn it around, slashing the old woman’s throat with the sharp end.
Next, I grab the knife from my ankle and use it on ’my’ friend, instantly killing him.
The dog that had distanced himself dies by the same knife I throw into one of his eyes.
I kneel down in front of my fiancée and our child, devastated that it had come to this.
"Why didn’t you recognize me? Why couldn’t we be together happily?" I ask her, but she doesn’t answer.
I stand up to retrieve the necklace and knife, putting the former around her neck before ramming the latter into her stomach.
It takes some searching, but I soon retrieve something very small, looking not human yet still resembling one.
"My child, did you see enough to die in peace?"
"You didn’t, did you?"
"How would that be even possible?"
"You are just like me."
*******************
I opened my eyes in a daze and stared at the wall of the cave; silence surrounded me with the exception of Henry’s heartbeat, my vision blurring with tears.
I felt so much pain inside me, not sure if it was mine, the giant’s, or that of our dead counterpart, Ken.
I hate the giant, I hate myself, and I hate everything. I am so sick of all this; I don’t want to see even one more speck of the giant’s memories.
I want his blood out of my body together with his fucking power—for him to disappear forever.
I listened to Henry’s heartbeat, which just continued to beat, unaware of the horrors I had seen in my dreams, of his, of our, of my past actions.
It would beat and beat and beat.
His warmth was also so prominent, steadily providing for me in case I was going cold.
His arms were strong, holding onto me no matter what occurred.
I propped myself on my elbow and looked down at Henry’s face.
I really wanted to tell him everything.
But more than that, I wanted to devour him, take every one of his heartbeats for myself, and engulf myself in his warmth. I wanted to force his hands to hold onto me forever and his arms to shield me from these gruesome memories.
I leaned down and kissed Henry’s lips, grabbing his jaw to squeeze his mouth open so that I could slide my tongue inside.
Even though he still seemed to be asleep, he responded so endearingly to me as if he knew who was stealing this kiss.
I would have to talk to him about this; if he responded to anyone putting their lips on him in his sleep, I would have to go on a killing spree again.
My stomach somersaulted as my heart sped up, making me feel alive again, and so did the hardness in my pants.
That was until I sensed someone looking at me.
My head snapped to the source of the gaze, and I found the commander at the entrance of the cave, the light shining at his back, making it impossible to see his expression.
I conjured up my gun and pointed it at him, unsure myself if I just wanted to threaten him or really intended to kill him after what he had seen.
But then, Henry pulled me to him, hugged me, and forced my head back to his chest, so I had no choice but to put the gun away.
"Sleep a bit more, Kenny." My dog mumbled.
So I had no choice but to close my eyes and hope for a better dream to come this time around.
