Flip the Coin [BL]-Chapter 239. Describe yourself

The psychologist looked at me with visible disappointment.

"Why?" It seemed she was sure I would agree, and she wasn’t wrong in thinking that. But having someone throw a warning and then ignore it blatantly would just be dumb as hell.

"I’m not into psychedelic drugs." I answered, making my move on the board and taking a game stone from her side.

"We can work on the drug, change its characteristics to the point that there will be no hallucinations."

I smirked at that dumb argument.

"What if the hallucinations are what makes it work?" I knew she just wanted to rope me in, then get me to sign something, after which they would have full control and give me everything they wanted.

Though I had received the giant’s powers, curiously, I couldn’t see what he saw—the lines in the air that could easily be peeled open, like a lotus that was stripped of its petals until one reached the hidden core.

I knew the theory, but that didn’t help with anything if I simply didn’t have the power.

Awareness wasn’t all it seemed; then what else would be necessary?

Giant-Kenny said that what he was seeing was there all along, that ’his’ Henrietta was just overthinking, but if it were that easy, wouldn’t I have gained the ability by now?

Henrietta only managed to open the first portal with the help of Henrietta2. Additionally, the ’zipping’ she did to open or close a portal was energy-consuming beyond belief, while Giant-Kenny opened the portals with ease.

It seems the more carefully you opened the portals, the less energy was consumed.

During my visions of Henrietta’s past, I only saw and felt her ’feel’ for the thinnest point between the parallel worlds; never had she seen the lines, that chipped marble, or the wings as Giant-Kenny did.

So, apparently, it was important how to approach this topic.

Maybe even the why was crucial.

While Giant-Kenny had no bad intentions in the beginning, Henrietta wanted to claim parents who weren’t hers. Perhaps it was because of this that it became much more difficult for her, and she, together with everyone else, was left with more consequences.

Anyway—nothing to do with me, because I, again, can’t do it.

"What if your friend agrees? Henry? Would you then also participate?"

"No, I wouldn’t." Because Henry wouldn’t do it as long as I wasn’t doing it.

If the sweaty psychologist from last time was now asking Henry these questions, I can only imagine my doggy giving him a hard time.

"You are smiling."

"So?" I didn’t notice.

The psychologist leaned back in her chair and crossed her legs.

"You two have been through a lot."

"Mhm."

She seemed to wait for me to continue and share some tales, but I didn’t—you won’t get far with me if you ask questions without asking questions.

"What is your relationship?"

"Best friends."

"What is it that you believe in?"

I tilted my head and also leaned back in my seat, waiting for her to explain that random question.

"You don’t want your blood to be drawn because it doesn’t align with your beliefs. What is your religion exactly?"

Ah, yes, Henry came up with that, so how would I know?

"Our prophet teaches us believers not to talk about him or his teachings." I suppressed a laughing fit at this bullshit.

In my stead, the psychologist laughed.

"But you just talked about his teachings? Though it is forbidden?"

Helplessly, I placed my arms on the armrest of the leather chair I sat in and averted my eyes in feigned sadness.

"I did, and now I am ashamed."

"Okay, let’s drop that topic." She interlocked her fingers on her stomach.

"Your ability... Can you give me more details about what exactly you can do?"

"Well, can you guarantee me that I won’t be cut open if I do?"

"I can," she said with assurance, and I raised my eyebrows in mock disbelief.

"You see, this place was built by my father, so my position is high enough to curry favor with me."

"I already gave you the DMT and the pineal gland."

"But you wouldn’t participate in testing it."

"Then you do it." I leaned forward and placed my elbows on my thighs. "You go and get drugs injected into your body. As the daughter of someone important, you should feel the noblesse oblige stuff, right?"

She chuckled, looking like a regular university student, except that her eyes were far too sharp for someone ordinary.

"If I did it, would you do it as well?"

"No." I continued to play checkers, and when she didn’t make her move, I played her side as well.

I didn’t need her to play the game.

"What about a full body examination? Can you at least give us that?"

"Yeah, without blood or urine or anything, and without you injecting anything into me, it’s okay as long as you share the results with me openly."

"Perfect." In a much better mood, she leaned forward again and stared at the game board.

"You didn’t cheat." She commented with surprise.

"Yeah, your position now is even better than before." I’m still gonna win.

"Good, then before you leave, describe yourself to me in three words."

I hadn’t thought such a classic psychological question would come my way; I needed to think over that for a few minutes.

What was my identity exactly? Well, what I wouldn’t ever leave behind, even if I died right now, was me being:

"Grandson; Friend; Sentenced."

"Hmm, that is a very interesting answer. Instead of telling me who you are, you told me about your relationships, first with your family, then with your environment, and lastly with society and the government."

"Mhm, you got the whole package."

"Now I am curious. Tell me three character traits of yours that make you who you are. You know, most people answer this question when asked to describe themselves."

I chuckled; this was even more difficult.

I opened my mouth before closing it again.

Was that an easy question? No way; nobody would be able to answer it just like this.

"Neither fully good nor fully bad."

"These two traits make you who you are? Aren’t you describing every human on Earth?"

"No, not only humans; I am describing every living being."

"So, what makes you yourself is ’being a living being’?"

"Yeah. Do you know why horoscopes work?"

She just smiled and didn’t answer.

"Because everyone has every trait in them." There was an experiment where people were told that there was a horoscope especially made for them, based on their personal information. They were really given a specially made one, except it was the horoscope of a serial killer.

Not only did the people who believed in the stars approve of the character description one hundred percent, but even the skeptics were reformed, saying they found themselves so accurately described that they started to believe in that stuff.

That was because you would automatically associate the general words written with parts of yourself.

There are situations in which you are patient, situations where you are not, situations where you are aggressive, some where you are calm, some in which you go full Karen, and some where you are a saint.

In the end, however, the excuse of being a living being that has all these traits and is because of that excused for sometimes turning into a monster—isn’t that so damn fucking convenient?

So why not take that excuse for myself?

Giant Kenny, you are a human being, and because of that, you’ve made fucking mistakes. Henrietta, you are just a small girl wanting your parents, throwing everything into fucking chaos. My father, you lost your wife and needed a culprit; Mum, you fell victim to your need to teach your son a fucked-up lesson or maybe just because of simple ignorance.

No, we are not all fully bad, not all fully monsters, but doesn’t that make us all part...

...MONSTER?

You want three fucking words?

Imma giving you:

Murderer, Monster, Liar.

Because the chances are good that I am left being nothing more than that.