Elysium: Desired by the Cold-hearted Princess [GL]-Chapter 362: Lost Priorities

Third-person POV

Irina slammed the door behind her hard enough that the walls seemed to tremble, but Roxana didn’t move an inch from where she was.

She was already on her bed, lying on her side with her back to the room, facing the wall like she could disappear into it if she stayed still long enough. Her shoulders were tense, her posture stiff, and the silence between them felt tense and loaded.

Irina stood there for a second, breathing hard, her chest rising and falling as she stared at Roxana’s unmoving back. The image only made her angrier. Roxana had walked away first, she had thrown those words like she was trying to hurt her on purpose, and now she was pretending to sleep after saying such horrible words to her.

Irina crossed the room in three long strides and tapped Roxana’s shoulder, not gently.

"You still haven’t explained yourself," she said, her voice tight. "Especially why you thought you had the fucking right to call me Electra’s dog."

Roxana flinched at the contact despite herself. She let out a slow, frustrated breath, clearly having hoped, foolishly, that Irina might cool off before coming after her. After a moment, she pushed herself upright and turned to face Irina.

Her expression was tired and sharp around the edges, her eyes dark with something deeper than anger.

"Oh, please," she said sarcastically. "Don’t act like you don’t know what I meant."

Irina folded her arms. "I don’t know what you meant, so explain it. Explain to me how being a good friend suddenly makes me a dog."

Roxana laughed, but there was no humor in it. "There’s a fine line," she said, her tone cutting, "between being a good friend and being an obsessed one. And you crossed it a long time ago."

Irina stared at her, stunned. For a split second, the anger drained from her face, replaced by disbelief. Then it came rushing back, hotter and sharper.

"What did you just say?" she asked.

Roxana met her gaze without flinching. "You heard me."

Irina shook her head slowly. "No. No, you don’t get to say that to me," she snapped. "Not after everything we’ve done, and not after everything we’re still doing."

She took a step closer to the bed. "If I ’don’t have a life,’ then neither do you, because just in case you’ve forgotten, we’re almost always together, Roxana. We’ve always been together, and we’ve both been helping Electra this whole time."

Roxana opened her mouth to respond... "That’s exactly the problem," she said instead, her voice rising.

Before she could go any further, the door swung open, and Penelope stepped into the room, her eyes immediately flicking between the two of them. Relief crossed her face when she realized neither of them was bleeding or on the floor.

"Oh, thank the gods," she muttered. "I didn’t miss it."

Irina shot her a glance. "This doesn’t concern you."

"Yes, it does," Penelope replied calmly, closing the door behind her. "Because if I hadn’t come now, one of you would’ve done something stupid."

Roxana scoffed and pushed herself fully off the bed. She ran a hand through her hair, pacing once before turning back to face both of them.

"Good," she said sharply. "You’re both here. Maybe now I don’t have to repeat myself later."

She crossed her arms, frustration written plainly across her face. "Aren’t you tired?" she asked. "Both of you. Aren’t you sick and tired of revolving your entire lives around Electra and her problems? Because I am."

The room went silent.

Irina’s expression hardened. "Watch your mouth."

"No," Roxana snapped. "I’m done watching it."

Penelope stepped forward slightly. "Roxana..." 𝕗𝐫𝚎𝗲𝘄𝐞𝕓𝐧𝕠𝘃𝕖𝐥.𝐜𝚘𝚖

"I love her," Roxana interrupted. "Don’t get it twisted. I’ve always loved her, and I still do, but loving someone doesn’t mean erasing yourself for them."

Irina laughed bitterly. "That’s what this is about? You think helping her is erasing ourselves?"

"Yes!" Roxana shot back. "Look at us! Everything we do, every decision, every argument lately, it all comes back to Electra, what she needs, what she feels, and what she’s lost. And gods forbid anyone admits they’re tired."

Irina clenched her jaw. "She lost her memories, Roxana. She has lost her sense of self."

"And I lost my patience," Roxana replied. "And I’m allowed to say that."

Penelope glanced between them, tension etched into her face. "Roxana, no one’s saying you’re not allowed to be tired, but calling Irina a dog..."

"Wasn’t an insult," Roxana cut in. "It was an observation."

Irina took another step forward. "And I already said that you don’t get to psychoanalyze me."

Roxana didn’t back away. "You live for her approval, Irina. You always have."

"That’s not true."

"It is," Roxana said firmly. "You put her above everything, even going as far as putting her above yourself."

Irina’s voice dropped. "She’s our friend."

"She’s our center," Roxana corrected. "And I’m sick of pretending that doesn’t come at a cost."

Penelope exhaled slowly. "So what is this really about?"

Roxana hesitated, just for a moment, and that pause said more than anything else had.

Irina noticed it immediately. "There it is," she said quietly. "What aren’t you saying?"

Roxana looked away. "Nothing."

"That’s a lie," Irina hissed in response.

Roxana’s jaw tightened as she stared at the far wall, like the answer was written somewhere she didn’t want to look at.

Penelope watched her carefully. She’d known Roxana long enough to recognize that look, the way her shoulders stiffened, and the way she suddenly refused to meet anyone’s eyes. Roxana only did that when she felt cornered.

"Roxana," Penelope said quietly, her voice losing its edge. "You don’t act up like this for nothing."

Roxana let out a sharp laugh, turning back to face them. "So now we’re doing interventions?"

"No," Penelope replied. "We’re asking what’s actually wrong, because this isn’t just about Electra."

Irina nodded once. "You don’t just wake up one day this angry."

For a moment, it looked like Roxana might explode again. Her hands clenched into fists at her sides, and she opened her mouth like she was about to snap back with something cruel, but then she stopped. Her shoulders sagged, just slightly, like she’d finally gotten tired of holding herself together.

"I’m not keeping some big secret," she said. "I’m just... done pretending this doesn’t bother me."

"Pretending what doesn’t bother you?" Irina pressed.

Roxana exhaled through her nose. "That my life doesn’t feel like it belongs to me anymore."

Penelope’s expression softened. "Is this about Levi?"

Roxana stiffened again.

Irina frowned. "Levi?"

Penelope sighed. "I didn’t want to bring it up, but I overheard her on the phone about a week ago. They were arguing, and it sounded serious."

Roxana shot her a look. "You were listening?"

"I wasn’t trying to," Penelope said calmly. "Your voice was raised, and my door was open."

Irina turned to Roxana, confusion flickering across her face. "You didn’t say anything."

"Because it’s none of your business," Roxana snapped automatically, then stopped, rubbing her face with both hands. "Gods."

She dropped onto the edge of her bed, elbows on her knees, staring down at the floor. When she spoke again, her voice was lower, stripped of its sharpness.

"He says I’m never there," she admitted. "That even when I’m with him, I’m somewhere else, thinking about Electra, talking about her and her problems, and then running back here and putting everything else on pause."

Irina’s chest tightened. "So this is about him?"

"It’s about everything," Roxana replied. "He’s just the one who finally said it out loud."

Penelope crossed her arms loosely. "And that made you angry."

"It made me feel like I was failing at something that was supposed to be mine," Roxana said. "Something normal, and something that didn’t involve trauma or saving someone."

Irina was quiet for a long moment. Then she asked, carefully, "Do you think we’re wrong for helping her?"

Roxana shook her head. "No, but I think we’re wrong for acting like our own lives don’t matter while we do it."

Penelope nodded slowly. "That’s not an unreasonable thing to feel."

Irina let out a breath she hadn’t realized she was holding. "Then why attack me?"

Roxana looked up at her, hereyes tired. "Because you scare me."

Irina blinked. "I what?"

"You don’t even see it," Roxana said. "How much of yourself you’ve wrapped around her. It’s like if Electra falls apart, you will too, and I don’t want to watch that happen."

Irina swallowed. "So you call me a dog?"

Roxana winced. "That part... I shouldn’t have said it like that."

Penelope raised an eyebrow. "That’s one way to put it."

Roxana huffed weakly. "Fine. I shouldn’t have said it at all."

The tension in the room shifted, not gone, but no longer on the verge of snapping, and Irina’s shoulders dropped a fraction.

"I don’t live for her approval," Irina said quietly. "I help her because I choose to. She’s my best friend and our leader. She’d do the same for us without thinking twice about it."

"I know," Roxana replied. "But we’ve never gone through something like this, and I’m allowed to be exhausted."

Penelope looked between them. "So what do we do now?"

Roxana shrugged. "I don’t know. I just know I can’t keep pretending I’m okay when I’m not."

Irina nodded slowly. "Then don’t."

Roxana looked up, surprised.

"We don’t have to disappear to support her," Irina continued. "But you also don’t get to take your frustrations out on me."

"That’s fair," Roxana said.

Penelope sighed. "Gods, this is exhausting."

Roxana gave a small, tired smile. "You’re telling me."

For a moment, none of them spoke, but the anger had cooled, leaving behind a bit of hurt, honesty, and the uneasy knowledge that things couldn’t go back to the way they were.