Earning the Love of a Princess-Chapter 186: Using the Tools on Hand
William squirmed in discomfort. "See? This is why I didn’t want to have this conversation! It was just youthful stupidity that I don’t want to remember."
"Did anyone else ever find out what happened?" Camilla asked. She could only imagine the scandal that would’ve arisen had the behaviour of the young people been discovered.
"Yes unfortunately, everyone found out. All the way up to the king and queen themselves. It was an absolute nightmare, to be honest." William tucked his arms under his head.
"What happened?"
"Lady Sancia was allegedly at court only to attend the baptism of Leo and Violet’s youngest child. She was the godmother. But the way she acted around my friends and I...well, let’s just say that a group of over eager youths were never going to turn down what she was offering. We all thought she’d eventually leave court and that would be the end of it. But a few weeks later, she confessed to her parents that she was with child. Her finger was then firmly pointed at both Tom and me."
Camilla stared at William, completely stunned. William had a bastard child? He’d never said a single word about it.
"How did she know it was one of you two? Didn’t you say she’d been with Francis as well?" she asked carefully.
"Because Francis wasn’t rich or royal enough for her tastes, so she didn’t bother trying to pin it on him." William’s voice held a hard edge. "The Thierres are notorious social climbers. It wasn’t enough that one of their daughters had already married into the House of Devon. I’ve no doubt Sancia’s family sent her to court specifically to sink her claws into another prince. Any unmarried prince would’ve been adequate."
"And the news reached the king? That would’ve been terrifying." Camilla remembered how vicious King Edward could be in a full blown rage.
"It was. I swear the man was ready to choke the life out of both Tom and I. He had no appetite for either of us having to marry Sancia but at the same time, he had Duke Thierre in his ear, complaining about his daughter’s lost innocence." William laughed without humour. "The irony was, I’m fairly sure Sancia’s innocence was long gone before her and I crossed paths. That girl was no virgin when she lay with me."
"Who’s child was Sancia carrying, then?" Camilla asked, bracing herself against the reply.
"We never found out. She ended up miscarrying shortly thereafter." he said. "I could’ve cried with relief. I think Tom actually did. Otherwise, one of us would’ve probably been married off to her to help manage the scandal."
Camilla tried to imagine what would’ve happened to her in Sancia’s position. Once the Moraigthian nobility had heard that she had been sullied - by more than one man, no less - her reputation would’ve been lower than the dust. It wouldn’t have mattered that she was the daughter of a prince. She would’ve found herself utterly shunned. At best, she would have had to marry a noble’s illegitimate son.
"What happened to Lady Sancia after that? Did you ever see her again?" Camilla asked.
"No, never. She was forced to take the veil not long after it all. Her parents’ great gamble had failed and she found herself with her name in tatters and without a child to bind her to the Devon line. So she was shut in a nunnery. I assume she’s still there."
Camilla flinched at the thought of Sancia’s parents wielding her as a weapon for their own ambitions and then discarding her when she was no longer useful. "That all seems so...callous."
"It was." William sighed, using an arm to shield his eyes from the early afternoon sun. "Sancia was a foolish creature, but then again, so were the rest of us lads. Her parents used her and if she’d been successful and managed to make herself a princess, I’m sure they would’ve doted on her. But she failed and they knew no one else would marry her."
The two of them were quiet for a while. Camilla thought about the young woman forced to become a nun because she’d miscarried. She’d only be a few years older than me, Camilla realised. Yet our lives couldn’t be more different.
Perhaps that dreadful experience was what taught William to fear fatherhood, and to see a child as a punishment instead of a blessing.
Camilla cast her mind back to what she remembered of William as a youth from that summer in Port Canfirth. The face of the cocky, lanky lad was still clear in her mind. Even then, you could see the young William would grow into a devastatingly handsome man.
She then tried to imagine how bewildering and frightening it would’ve been for the youth to find himself threatened into marriage because of his own reckless actions.
"The only good thing about the entire affair was that it only happened after my father had died." William’s voice was quiet and gruff. "Otherwise, it would’ve definitely been Tom stuck marrying Sancia because I wouldn’t have survived the beating at Father’s hands."
Camilla propped herself up on her elbows. "Surely you exaggerate. He wouldn’t have killed his only son."
"It would have certainly crossed his mind. Father had grand plans for me to bring him rich lands through marrying a foreign princess of his choice. His plans definitely didn’t involve me marrying the daughter of a relatively poor Islian duke. He would’ve made me pay dearly for my indiscretions."
"Good lord, William. What a disaster it all could’ve been for you." Camilla lay back on the grass. As much as she hated to admit it, the petty, possessive side of her was relieved William didn’t have a child out there with Lady Sancia.
"Oh, I know it." he said. "I’d like to say it scared me straight but I wasn’t smart enough for that. Instead, I concluded I should only dally with women without the backgrounds or titles to force me into a more permanent arrangement. I tended to stay away from the most noble girls after that. Tom would still risk it, though."
Camilla stared at him from the corner of her eye. "Why did you pursue me then? Did you think my uncle would care so little that you could just ruin my name and get away with it?"
William rolled onto his side to face her, twirling a lock of her damp hair in his fingers. "Trust me, I knew pursuing you was a terrible idea. There was no doubt in my mind about that. You think I didn’t try to talk myself out of it constantly? But I was bewitched. I wanted you so fucking badly, even if your king and mine would have hung me for it afterwards."
"I’m no witch, husband." Camilla said sullenly.
"Well, then explain to me why I was willing to risk my neck to have you in my bed."
There was no real explanation, Camilla had to admit. Just like there was no explanation for why she’d ended up in love with an arrogant young man who back then, had made her want to scream in outrage several times a day.
She looked into William’s striking eyes, which looked troubled after the tale he’d shared.
"I felt badly for how things turned out for Lady Sancia. And the whole sorry saga also taught me that children are merely tools. You have them merely to keep on hand until you can best use them to suit your needs. The thought of having affection for a child just for the sake of them being themselves, was utterly foreign." William said pensively. "That’s why your father made no sense to me. I watched how he was with you and your brother. Why care for a son beyond him being your heir? Why care for a daughter beyond the alliance her marriage will bring you? He seemed to be the strangest, most extraordinary man."
"He was a wonderful man, but I don’t think that a father loving his child should be considered an extraordinary thing." Camilla swallowed the lump in her throat. "I hope that one day you can grow to feel genuine affection for Malcolm."
At the mention of their son’s name, William seemed to brighten. "I already do. Even though all he does is sleep and eat. And seeing the maids change his linen is revolting. But how can I not care for him, when he’s half you?"
Camilla gave him a little smile. "Which half of him is me? I don’t see it at all."
William laughed. "Imagine if he’d ended up with your family’s red hair. That would’ve been a sight to behold."
Picturing a miniature William with with rust coloured hair made Camilla start laughing as well.
The two of them remained a long while on the grass, fingers entwined and quietly marvelling at having ended up together at all, given the series of events that had occurred around them.
