Earning the Love of a Princess-Chapter 111: The Storm Passes

30 May, 1359. Westerhaven Palace, Islia

William rubbed his aching eyes with his hand and exhaled. His cheek was still pressed against Camilla’s chest and he could feel the steady beat of her heart, which was strangely soothing. At some point that he couldn’t remember, he must have pulled her onto his lap. He didn’t know how much time he’d spent sobbing like a baby but she had sat silently the entire time, stroking his hair as every drop of bitterness and betrayal he’d tried to suppress rushed through his veins.

Now, there was nothing left but quiet.

Part of William felt embarrassed at breaking down like that, something that hadn’t happened in years. He hadn’t even wept at his father’s death. This was exactly what he’s been trying to avoid her seeing.

Another, larger part of him though, felt a sense of peace. A profound feeling of calm after letting go of everything that had been building up for weeks.

Feeling his beloved’s chest rise and fall gently with her breathing beneath his cheek, he decided there could be no safer or warmer place in the world than where he was in that moment. He couldn’t ever recall anyone comforting him in such a way, not even the queen when he was a small boy.

"Well I’ve become a fucking mess, haven’t I?" William sighed in a hoarse voice, without lifting his head. He felt slightly uneasy looking into Camilla’s eyes at that moment, still feeling too...raw? Vulnerable?

Luckily, Camilla made no effort to make him look at her. He felt as well as heard her sweet, lilting voice as she replied, "You’re not a mess. Though you might have ended up as one if you’d just kept burying your feelings and pretending nothing had happened." She continued to twirl her fingers around one of his locks of hair. The gentle pressure on his head was making him slightly drowsy.

"Do you feel a little less terrible now?" she asked after a few more moments of silence, as she continued to toy with his hair.

"I suppose I do." William’s throat stung. "I haven’t wept like a child since I was an actual child, I don’t think."

Camilla hummed with disapproval. "That’s a very long time to not be honest with yourself, isn’t it?"

He shrugged, not denying the truth. He wished they could forget about everyone else and just spend all night in the little room, within their peaceful bubble.

"Speaking of honesty, how long ago did the uh...enmity between you and Richard start?" William braced himself for her reply.

"Almost from the outset." Camilla said the very words William had dreaded but at the same time, knew he needed to hear. "At first I wasn’t really bothered by it. I thought it was simply because I was a girl and a foreigner."

She went quiet briefly and he felt her shift in his lap. "It was only after one night, at the king’s costume ball right after we returned north to Magdaline that I realised...well, I managed to outrun him that night. But from then on, I knew I had to avoid ever being alone in his presence."

William recalled that night, how he’d kissed her in the arbour and his desire had run so hot that he’d been desperate to throw her to the ground and fuck her senselessly. Instead, he’d sent her back to the castle alone so he wouldn’t be tempted by the sight of her.

He should’ve never let her walk back alone, he scolded himself.

"I did a good job of staying away from him, until one day Bess suggested we all go bathe in the creek. It was something she and her sisters had done as children and it was such a warm day...even then, I think I would’ve been alright if I’d just stayed with my ladies." Camilla’s voice dwindled to an unsteady whisper. "But once they were ready to leave, I just wanted a few moments on my own. I still don’t know how Richard found out where I was that day."

William reached up and stroked the back of her nape, burying his face in the crook of her neck and shoulder. "If only I’d known from the beginning so I could’ve helped you."

Camilla gave a short laugh. "The first several months I was in Islia, you spent most of your time ignoring me. So I knew better than to say anything."

Breathing in the sweet scent of her skin, William grumbled. "Ignoring you wasn’t malicious. I was just very uncomfortable around you."

"Yes, that was obvious. You’ve never told me why, though."

William finally tilted his head back and looked into her doe eyes, framed in impossibly thick black lashes. She looked genuinely curious and her innocence made his insides churn.

"I thought you were fucking terrifying, to be honest. So I avoided you."

"What?" Camilla yelped, then clapped her hand over her mouth for speaking a little too loudly. She continued to stare at him with a mixture of outrage and offence that he found utterly adorable. He laughed, his first genuine laugh in what felt like a long time.

"How exactly was I terrifying? I was a literal hostage, William!"

"Yes and you refused to act like one. That first day I took you to meet my uncle, you faced him like a queen even though you knew he had the power of life and death over you." He smiled wryly at the memory. "You were too much of everything. Too beautiful, too clever, too poised. I had no idea how to get your attention and I also hated that you made me fight for it. It was easier to pretend you didn’t exist."

"Well, you did an exceptional job of making me feel like I didn’t exist. I’d raise a glass to your efforts but I think you’ve drunk this room dry." Camilla deadpanned.

William started laughing again. "Your dark humour is one of my favourite things about you." He kissed her mouth quickly and felt a little twinge of fire under his skin. "I didn’t think you’d really noticed me ignoring you. You didn’t seem to notice or care about anything I did, much to my disgust."

Camilla sighed and rested her cheek against the top of his head as he continued to rub her nape. "Of course I noticed. You’re the most gorgeous man at court, likely in the entire country. How was I supposed to feel when you made a point of charming every other woman at court but me? You even flirted with my ladies-in-waiting in front of me!"

"Maybe just a little." William kissed her neck and tightened the arm around her waist, feeling sheepish.

"Did Tession know?" Camilla finally asked.

"Did Tession know what?"

"That you didn’t think I was quite as horrendous as you made me out to be?"

"What do you think? Of course he fucking did." William growled. "The old man seems to know everything."

Camilla gave a peal of laughter and shifted on his lap. "I guess he does. At his great age, there’s probably little he hasn’t learned."

"He kept on telling me that I’d need to do something different to get your attention, treat you differently to every other woman I’d ever dealt with. I didn’t want to hear it." William moved his hand from her neck to leave it resting on her thigh. "I told him I didn’t want to make an effort and get to know you as a person and not just as a beauty. I thought that if I got to know you, it would make things harder. And I was right, wasn’t I? Here we are."

Camilla shifted in his lap again to get more comfortable and William flinched. He wished she’d stop squirming like that as she was slowly driving him wild. 𝓯𝙧𝓮𝓮𝒘𝓮𝙗𝙣𝒐𝒗𝒆𝓵.𝓬𝓸𝒎

It was wrong, wasn’t it? He told himself it was wrong to feel his desire now building steadily when he had just been more emotionally open to her than anyone else in his life. When he had humbled himself before her and they were sitting in an unlocked drawing room.

But there was something about her beauty and naïveté in that moment that made him want to swallow her whole, to possess her so completely that she’d never think of anyone else but him. He vowed to make her surrender to him and admit she needed him as much as he needed her. The thought of her not needing him was beyond terrifying.

With that thought, William slid his hand into her loose hair and drew her mouth to his. Lord, he had missed her. It felt like months since he’d bedded her.

The kiss quickly turned heated and deep, their breathing becoming ragged. She squirmed in his lap again and he almost groaned aloud. William dragged his lips along the edge of her jaw and under her ear. He felt her grip on his hair tightening slightly.

"William..."

"Hmmm?"

"What are you doing?" Camilla’s voice had a nervous edge which made him want her even more.