Discussing The Correct Posture To Enjoy Dog Food-Chapter 45 - Honey Tangerine Flavored Shadow Guard Gong (3)
Chapter 45 - Honey Tangerine Flavored Shadow Guard Gong (3)
Translator: KunLin
Editors: Rubhyl, Grump
Gou Liang’s days being bedridden were destined to be dull and dreadfully long, especially in a situation where he was stuck with a godly doctor grandfather who blew a fuse at the slightest provocation and a shadow guard-dada whose existence was akin to air.
Thus, after he waited expectantly, the night of the full moon finally arrived.
On the night when yin qi was the heaviest and animals were the most excited, Gou Liang was unable to see if the moon was truly round because the poison broke out routinely as always.
When the night of the full moon came, the old man told the big blind spot, “Tonight you must be especially careful of his leg. Don’t ruin the foundation that I’ve reconstructed for him.”
“What are you looking at me like that for? Within a hundred miles of this place, there’s only you and me. Could it be that you want this old man to sacrifice his body for that Zhong Clan brat?!”
Gou Liang: Pfffttt!
Although the big blind spot’s expression couldn’t be seen, seeing the wide-eyed old man who had a ‘bashful’ expression on his face like his chrysanthemum had been poked, Gou Liang inwardly laughed until his stomach ached.
【Gou Liang: Little Wanton, you can deactivate the shield now.】
【System: …Master, take care.】
Gou Liang accepted its good wishes but the instant the pain shield was removed, the pain from the wounds all over his body—especially the searing pain from his kneecap and face, accompanied by the itching sensation that was rising to the surface of his body from his insides—all caused Gou Liang’s scalp to go numb.
【Gou Liang: Fuck fuck fuck, this world is screwing with me! …Little Wanton, is my expression very ugly right now? QAQ 】
【System: Dear Master, allow me to remind you that your current appearance was ugly to begin with. Also, the blindspot has already entered your vicinity. May Master control your expression and try not to appear too ugly.】
【Gou Liang: What do you mean too ugly?! (#`皿) 】
【The system said shyly: You know, so ugly the other won’t even be able to get an erection~ you know what I meant, so why do you have to make me say it out loud?~ 】
【Gou Liang: We are finished with each other!】
Unable to converse with the system to distract himself, Gou Liang strenuously opened his eyes.
It was unknown if his long lashes were damp with sweat or tears. The wet lashes sticking together formed a very eye-catching picture. Seeing that he had awakened, Zhong Quan helped him wipe away his cold sweat before asking in a low voice: “Master, do you have any orders?”
Gou Liang tried his best to talk but the moment he opened his mouth, pained groans escaped from his throat. He attempted multiple times before finishing his sentence: “Knock, knock me out…q-quick!”
His eyes were stubborn and full of perseverance. Even though the old man had told him that it would be useless even if he was knocked unconscious, Zhong Quan still did as he commanded.
And as expected, not even an incense stick of time had passed since he hit the sleep acupuncture point when Gou Liang was once again awakened by the itchy and painful sensation akin to having a hundred ants gnawing at him.
This repeated three times until Gou Liang finally couldn’t take it anymore. He bit onto his own hand, letting out a muffled yell.
“Master…”
Heartache flashed through Zhong Quan’s eyes. He pulled out the other’s hand, wanting to exchange it for his own.
However, Gou Liang willfully shook his head as he berated the other: “Get out, you, go away!”
Zhong Quan: “Master, your body…”
“I’m telling you to leave! Scram!!”
It felt as if there was something jumping around violently in his temples. Gou Liang felt his consciousness slowly becoming muddled. He kept on repeating the same words of resistance.
Zhong Quan stopped him when he wanted to stuff his hand back into his mouth. Just as the other was about to place his own hand into Gou Liang’s mouth, the latter suddenly curled up. He evaded his touch while shaking his head wildly, fear flashing through his eyes: “D-don’t touch me!”
Gou Liang wanted to hide away very much. Never had he been more aware of his fragile little chrysanthemum than he was now&#k2014;even in the last two worlds, he had never felt like this&#k2014;his chrysanthemum clenching so much that his entire body felt uncomfortable. To put it into words, it felt like there was a fire burning inside of him; his entire body drenched as if he had just been fished out of the water. He wanted to clamp his legs but the injury on his leg made him unable to do so. He tried his utmost to curl into a ball. He dug his fingernails which had been specifically clipped prior to this into his inner thighs, wanting to use an even more intense pain to combat his lust.
【The System couldn’t see but it could still detect that Gou Liang was in an extremely terrible condition right now: Master…do you still remember the seductive sight by Daming Lake?】
【Gou Liang replied incoherently: Seductive, your sister’s husband! Why do I have to be given such an unlucky body and it’s also a body that the target-dada is incomparably familiar with?! I wanna be assertive, I wanna swallow my dear target whole, please just let him screw me to death, ying ying ying(/TДT)/ 】
【System: M-master, the mainframe has yet to figure out the reason behind the computing system’s error, may Master wait patiently——】
【Gou Liang: Scram scram scram, I just knew I couldn’t rely on you!(╯T ^ T)╯╧╧ 】
【System: _(:зゝ∠)_ 】
“Master, please don’t hurt yourself.”
Zhong Quan anxiously grabbed his hands. Having been rendered helpless, Gou Liang looked at him fearfully with limpid eyes that had been washed clear by his tears. Being looked at like this made Zhong Quan remember the first time he had met the other. Back then his Master had been the three year old child. At that time, because the other’s progress in his studies had fallen short of his grandfather’s expectations, he had hidden himself away and was crying alone. Back then, the other was just as weak as he was now and he also had the same stubborn expression in his eyes, his eyes clear like the brightening sky after a spell of rain.
His heart wavered for a moment and he couldn’t help but say: “Master, please allow this subordinate to share your difficulties.”
He didn’t know if Gou Liang heard him or not. Only when he began to undo the other’s clothes did Gou Liang yell out, his head shaking wildly, completely out of his mind from fright: “Impudent!”
“Go away, don’t touch me…wu, I’m telling you to scram!”
Inwardly, Gou Liang had cried enough to form a whole river. When he had been touched just now, it felt as if he had received salvation, his sensitivity heightened exponentially like a tender bud. His instinct was growing unbearable but he could only say words of refusal. And Zhong Quan, this person without any lust or desires, didn’t go against him at all. He really retreated just like that.
“Master…”
Conflict could be seen in Zhong Quan’s eyes.
Gou Liang said tearfully: “Y-you leave. I-I’ll take care of myself.”
He stubbornly glared at Zhong Quan. When the other finally left his field of vision for real, he let out a cry and began to touch his body that was on the verge of surrendering.
Tearing his clothes open, Gou Liang harshly pinched his stomach while biting onto the pillow that was stuffed with medicinal herbs.
【The big blind spot had retreated about a meter away. When Gou Liang could see himself on the monitor again, he was frightened by his own appearance: L-little Wanton, why am I so ugly! 】
【System: …Master, do you have amnesia? 】
【Go Liang: No, no, no, this won’t do! The plan is temporarily put on halt! I’m so ugly right now it’s really wronging my little target— en, after an hour, shield my pain and the effect of the aphrodisiac again.】
【System: Can you hold out for that long? Since the plan has already been abandoned, why not just do it now…】
【Gou Liang: Tch, just do as I say!】
It was really hard on his eyes to see the state of his body from the monitor—his face was slathered with medicine and was wrapped with layers and layers of white bandages, leaving only his eyes, nostrils, and mouth visible. If it was only to this extent, then Gou Liang would’ve still proceeded even if it meant thickening his skin. However, all over the skin of his exposed stomach were fierce looking scars that had yet to heal. It really was ugly to the point he didn’t want to look at it directly. He didn’t want his beloved target to have such an unpleasant experience.
As for whether he could endure—
Gou Liang could only say, after taking it easy for thousands of years, he had really degenerated.
This trivial level of injury and pain, if it were him in the past, with his King rank soul force, this would’ve been nothing in his eyes. The current him could only forcefully bear with it. On the bed, he practically twisted himself into a pretzel, weeping as he endured the torment.
Zhong Quan furrowed his brows when he saw his suffering. The old man appeared by his side and said coldly: “What are you still standing here for?”
Zhong Quan: “The master has given his order, as his subordinate, I cannot disobey.”
“Dunce!” The old man scolded: “Now’s not the time to be stupidly proper, are you really going to just watch as he suffers like this?”
“Master has always been willful, if it is done by force I’m afraid…”
“You’re afraid he’ll want your life?” The old man jeered coldly.
Zhong Quan replied: “My life has always been Master’s. If he wants it, I’ll give it to him myself, it’s not even worth mentioning. I’m just afraid… he will harm himself.”
The old man understood that he was afraid that Gou Liang would commit suicide. He also didn’t try to convince the other any longer, he only angrily said: “In the end, isn’t it still because he can’t let go of that stinky man?! Keeping chaste for him? Pei, I’ll see how much longer he can endure!”
But Gou Liang ended up exceeding his expectations.
After enduring the painfully long night, the moon set and the sun began to rise. Gou Liang could finally relax as he sank into a deep sleep.
For the next month, he slightly turned up the setting for the Continuous Blood and Blue Regen prop. His body gradually began to recover. The old man was never stingy when it came to using good stuff on him so this rate of recovery was within his expectation. What made him truly surprised was the scars on Gou Liang’s body, which were recovering at a rate much faster than he had anticipated. In only half a month’s time, the scabs had already fallen, leaving behind only a pink layer of skin. As for the wound on his face, it was much more grave, so the recovery speed was somewhat slow.
The old man had seen many odd physiques before so this didn’t shock him that much. He only found it novel for a brief period, saying he was a lucky brat.
Gou Liang who had secretly purchased a Scar Removal Prop for 88 points: “…This is all due to your unparalleled medicinal skills.”
The day before the second full moon.
Gou Liang held his breath and gulped the medicine in one go. He handed the empty bowl over to Zhong Quan and accepted the water the other gave him. He slowly sipped the water, using it to wash away the numbness on his tongue after drinking the bitter medicine.
He asked: “How is the situation in the capital?”
Zhong Quan: “The Emperor’s illness is under control. Although the secret medicinal formula he used had greatly harmed his foundation, it shouldn’t be a problem for him to live another five to six years. As for what remains of Gao Clan’s faction, some were taken in by the crown prince while some seeked help from King An but otherwise, they’ve mostly been wiped out. Because the period for the imperial exam is close at hand, the Emperor decreed that the crown prince and King An will collaborate together to hold this year’s imperial examination with the intentions of helping King An gain ground against the crown prince.”
King An was the son of Emperor Wu’s only blood-related son, and was also known as the third prince, Li Mu.
Back then when the original host first returned to the capital, the other was not even ten years old yet. Now, six years having gone by, he had also reached the age to enter the political field at court.
As he gave his report, Zhong Quan paused briefly before continuing on: “Zhong Yue had an audience with the Emperor. He seems to have offered medicine. If it’s effective, then the Emperor’s lifespan may increase further.”
Gou Liang didn’t show on his face whether he had been stimulated by this name. He lowered his gaze and took a sip of water before saying indifferently: “Since he is a direct descendant of the main Zhong Clan, he must have a lot of good stuff on him…if he can briefly prolong the Emperor’s life, there is no harm in that since it’s advantageous to us.”
Saying this, he formed a self-deprecating smile. “It seems that Zhong Yue is much smarter than I originally thought. He knows to leave a leeway for himself.”
Zhong Yue prolonging the Emperor’s life naturally wasn’t something Li Yan wished to see.
Gou Liang had long begun to monitor the scum man and fake white lotus who were far away in the capital. He had gained a deeper understanding of Zhong Yue as a person.
He was different from the original host who was starving for affection and had been muddled by love. Although Zhong Yue was young, he had been pampered and doted on in a thousand different ways since childhood. When it came to it, in the end, he loved himself more than he loved others.
The original host died without knowing this, but regarding the matter of Li Yan chasing to kill him, no matter how noble the reason he gave, the aides under him couldn’t help but feel chills in their hearts. After all, they remembered how the original host had made countless contributions over the years and in the Prince’s Manor, he had been more favored by the thousand servants and Li Yan than the actual Princess Consort. However, now, Li Yan had yet to ascend but was already killing the donkey who had served its use. They were all intelligent people who cherished their lives, how could they not have any thoughts?
Thus, Zhong Yue found out from other people’s mouth that the relationship between the original host and Li Yan wasn’t just that of a one-sided harassment like the other had said but was instead a genuine relationship of ‘true love’ that had lasted for six years. Moreover, for Li Yan’s sake, the original host had committed no shortage of crimes. When Zhong Yue learned of this, a storm brewed in his heart.
The original host had been nothing short of devoted to Li Yan, but in the end, not only did the latter not uphold their original agreement—to clear the name of the Zhong Clan in the capital—he even wanted the other’s life. Even though Zhong Yue felt that it was only natural that Li Yan had fallen in love with him instead, vigilance formed in his heart nevertheless. This led to him divulging his identity to outside forces, resulting in him being summoned by the Emperor for an audience.
Gou Liang watched with dispassionate eyes.
Zhong Gu, ah, Zhong Gu, do not fret. Once I’ve subdued my little target, I will definitely farm your negative soul force.
Zhong Quan then reported in detail the circumstances of the scattered shadow guards.
As Gou Liang listened, he didn’t know whether to pity the original host or to feel glad for him.
The Zhong Clan had been involved in court for six whole generations. It was impossible to estimate how deep their connections stretched, so naturally a team of shadow guards wouldn’t be the only thing that they had left for the original host.
The Zhong Clan didn’t interfere with government affairs. However, they’d had generations of state teachers. They were all people who remained vigilant even during times of peace. Naturally, it wouldn’t be hard for them to perform a sleight of hand. Starting from Zhong Gu’s great-great-great-great-grandfather’s generation, the Zhong Clan began to secretly cultivate shadow guards while also discreetly amassing wealth, all for insurance should the later generations of the imperial family develop killing intent towards his descendants.
It was not that Zhong Gu’s great-great-great-great-grandfather foresaw the present situation, but rather, some things were just unavoidable.
For example, the main Zhong Clan was brimming with talents, but why was there a clan rule that forbade direct descendants from holding government post?
Naturally, it was because on a certain year of a certain day, a certain monarch decided he felt like kicking a benefactor in the teeth, dumping cold water whatever ardor the Zhong Clan ancestors had. After all, don’t they say, once bitten by a snake you’ll be afraid of a rope for decades to come?
Zhong Gu’s great-great-great-great-grandfather was also afraid that the matter of him betraying his clan to repay his benefactor would implicate his descendants, which is why he had set preparations for them.
In retrospect, this sort of foresight was very necessary after all.
Quan Ya had undergone three hundred years of cultivation. Although their numbers did surpass a thousand, each individual was highly trained. They were disseminated all through the State of Wei, some even as far as the neighboring countries— The Quan Ya in the northern desert, the southern border, and the West country were in charge of gathering and exchanging information, forming a gigantic network influential enough to overthrow the entire court.
As far as the original host was concerned, this was supposed to be a sure-win match.
However, in this world, there was a deep sense of reverence engraved in people’s bones—especially for the Zhong Clan whose profession laid in divination—towards the sons of heaven, the will of heaven, and the fate of nations. They treated such topics with utmost confidentiality and veneration, thus they never held any thoughts of rebelling. Otherwise, with the chips in their hands, the illustrious Zhong Clan of the capital wouldn’t haven’t fallen to today’s degree.
And the original host had a one-track mind. He only wanted the lives of the Gao Clan and an imperial edict reinstating the Zhong Clan so he could avenge his clansmen’s down in the underworld. Thus, that year he took Li Yan, this shortcut. He had no intention of causing ruckus in the capital, so he never utilized all his forces. He mobilized only a small portion of his people as a display of loyalty towards Li Yan.
Gou Liang could only be speechless towards this.
If it was himself and he wanted to take revenge, who cared about the stability of the imperial family’s rule or if the people would suffer? He would’ve directly offed the imperial family and made himself the Emperor. Then, he would’ve ordered for historians to splash dirty water onto the Li and Gao family so their names would only be remembered in infamy. If he doesn’t do at least this much, how could he quell his anger! Alas, it was a pity. Currently by his side was the target-dada who had an extremely strong interpersonal relationship with the original host. His grand plans and ambitions were destined to be left unfulfilled.
When Zhong Quan finished his report, Gou Liang handed the emptied bowl over to him and said: “The Zhong Clan should be curious about Zhong Yue’s situation right now. Arrange for people to bring news to them. I want to see, for this proud son of heaven who has violated the ancestral rule to interfere with state affairs will the Zhong Clan be as impartial as back then and expel him from the clan, or will they try to cover up for this slut who had already given over his body.”
Zhong Quan did not find this command to be unexpected. He nodded his head to acknowledge the order.
Pausing for a moment, Gou Liang continued to say: “Since the Emperor wishes to support King An in contending for power against Li Yan, things can’t be going well between Li Yan and the Emperor. Go and find a few unimportant officials who have been seen publicly to have dissent with Li Yan and take care of them. Didn’t Li Yan want to be a filial son? Alright, I will fulfill his wish; those treacherous deeds that cannot see the light of day, since they were done by me in the past, naturally they should also be taken care of by me now. Zhong Quan…say, aren’t I right?”
The corner of his mouth curled into a smile. Zhong Quan didn’t know why, but he felt a chill run down his back.
“What did you say?!”
Infuriated, Li Yan got up and asked his trusted aide: “The person who died was Chief Secretary Li from the Ministry of Justice, the one who had a disagreement with me yesterday?”
The trusted aide timidly answered affirmatively.
Li Yan was incensed: “This is already the third time, this is already the third time something like this has happened this month! Let’s not talk about how today in court, all the officials avoided this prince, but even this prince’s own people are starting to feel doubts about this prince! The other day, Imperial Father even called this prince over to caution this prince! Although there’s no evidence that this was done by the East Palace, there’s also no evidence that this wasn’t done by this prince! All of you are useless. Even now, the investigations have yielded absolutely nothing! Just who is it, who is framing this prince like this—?”
Saying this, Li Yan suddenly froze. Suppressing his temper, he asked: “Is there any news about Zhong Gu?”
The trusted aide who was kneeling answered: “Replying to Your Highness, we have yet to find him.”
Hearing this, Li Yan cursed them as incompetent again.
The trusted aide also had his hardships.
As time went on, naturally it would become harder to track them. And ever since the first case of murder happened, Li Yan’s movement had been restricted. As a result, even the number of people sent out to capture Zhong Gu had lessened a lot. They’d already tried their best but all traces of Zhong Gu had disappeared like a drop of water falling into the ocean… However, none of these excuses could be said aloud, they could only carry the pot of being incompetent.
Zhong Yue was practicing calligraphy and didn’t care about his outburst. After he finished writing the last word, he set down his brush and spoke up: “Sir Yan, no need to be so alarmed.”
As if he had thought of something pleasant, he smiled and said unhurriedly: “Even if Zhong Gu isn’t dead, I reckon he might be underneath some men right now. How would he have the spare energy to wreck your plans? From how I see it, there must be another person behind this.”
Gloom flashed by Li Yan’s eyes but was soon repressed by him. Walking to Zhong Yue, he took the other’s hand into his, his eyes full of gentleness: “Then who do you say it is?”
Zhong Yue replied: “King An or, perhaps, His Majesty.”
Gou Liang was flabbergasted by this response. But when he saw Li Yan’s shocked face, showing he had completely believed the other’s words, Gou Liang was instantly delighted.
Zhong Yue was indeed a little prodigy!
This kind of grand opening, he likes it a lot!
However, he soon had no mood to watch the show anymore. The sun had begun to gradually set and tonight was yet another full moon.