Discussing The Correct Posture To Enjoy Dog Food-Chapter 33 - Lemon Flavored Film Emperor Gong (12): A big confession in front of billions of fans!
Chapter 33 - Lemon Flavored Film Emperor Gong (12): A big confession in front of billions of fans!
Translator: SilverRain
Editors: Amaris, Mimishijie
=====《Seeking Survival on Wilderness Island》 Holo Broadcast, Day 4 ↓↓ =====
The sun glowered from the sky. But it couldn’t wake up the two-legged beasts on the island no matter how hard it tried. It unhappily hid itself among the clouds to sulk. Soon after, a thunderstorm woke them from their dreams.
Ming Xing rolled over and crawled up. He held his trembling little heart tightly as he got out of his tent to take a look—a large dark cloud was racing in their direction from the sky very quickly… Ao, he was getting a sense of deja vu!
With his previous bloody lesson fresh in his mind, Ming Xing rushed wordlessly to his cousin’s tent. On the way, he met Su Chu who was hesitating over whether to go to Gou Liang’s tent. Their eyes met and they both ran in the same direction.
He ChongFeng had already been woken up by the sound of thunder. Gou Liang was throwing a fit after waking up, probably because he was hungover from yesterday. His temper was particularly strong this time, no matter how hard He ChongFeng tried to persuade him, Gou Liang wouldn’t open his eyes.
So when Ming Xing and Su Chu came in, they saw the Cold Emperor He ChongFeng holding Gou Liang who was still half buried in his sleeping bag. His upper half was squirming into He ChongFeng’s arms…
Ming Xing shouted in alarm, “What’s going on here?!”
Su Chu, who always remembered he was on air, coughed and said awkwardly, “Is Ah Feng waking MaiMai up? Hahaha.”
He ChongFeng nodded to them and said to Gou Liang, “It’s raining. Don’t you need to take in the food you brought back yesterday?”
Gou Liang woke up in a second, rubbed his eyes and said to Ming Xing, “What are you still standing here for, go call the other two to help!”
That fragile and simple kitchen obviously couldn’t withstand the storm. By the time everyone had moved all of the kitchen’s contents into the tent, the rain had already started to fall.
Gou Liang looked at the sky and said, “This rain might last the whole morning. Are you guys just going to stay here the whole time?”
Ming Xing: “This tent is half my cousin’s!” His face showed a very stubborn expression.
Gou Liang snorted and rubbed his bird nest of hair. “Male God, I think I got drunk yesterday. I didn’t say anything strange, right?” He carefully watched He ChongFeng’s face—En, he must not have shouted key words like Shi Yu, or else this little lemon’s face wouldn’t be so calm today.
However, He ChongFeng, Ming Xing, Su Chu, Cheng Bei and Zhang QiaoYi all had hesitant expressions as they silently looked at him.
Gou Liang didn’t mind. He said, “Male God, let’s eat fruit porridge today! And two egg pancakes too! Hey, there’s actually little tomatoes, so how about we have tomatoes with fish and a fruit tart?”
Of course He ChongFeng was okay with this.
Ming Xing: “Wow breakfast is so rich today, thank you Island Owner-Dada!”
Gou Liang: “No thanks needed. There’s none for you.”
Ming Xing: “…….?”
The other three: What about us?
Gou Liang said: “I’ll make a bit for Su Chu-Jie, the rest of you should do whatever you have to do. This lord isn’t here to cook for you.”
Su Chu: I’ve never been so thankful to my mama that I was born a girl ≧▽≦
Ming Xing: “Don’t be like this, ah. You called me cousin so affectionately when we first met, is there no love now?”
Gou Liang: “I remember you said ‘who is your cousin’ in response, right?”
Ming Xing: “I was wrong! Island Owner-Dada, I’ll admit you’re my cousin, okay? QAQ”
Gou Liang crossed his arms. “Then from now on, who will wash the dishes, pick up the firewood, get the drinking water, clean up, and go fishing?”
Ming Xing replied instantly, “Cheng-Laoshi and Zhang-Ge!”
Cheng Bei and Zhang QiaoYi: …Little Teddy really lives up to his name. I want to beat him up so badly.
=====《Seeking Survival on Wilderness Island》Holo Broadcast, Day 4 – Q&A ↓=====
After Streamer Gou’s breakfast time.
The gods and goddesses were all satisfied. The audience who had also lost sleep last night, munching on sunflower seeds, still seemed to be injected with chicken blood today—We also want to eat (. -`ω′-)!!
The storm was raging outside the tent, but the solar camping light inside the tent—that was diligently taking on the mission of lighting—painted a picture of comfort.
Cheng-Laoshi said, “I actually brought a mahjong set, but I gave it to the crew when I arrived on the island. Are we just going to sit around and wait for the rain to stop?”
Zhang-Leader said, “Cheng-Ge, you should’ve brought a deck of cards. It would’ve taken up a lot less space.”
Cheng-Laoshi sighed: “Hindsight is 20/20, ah.”
Goddess: “How about we play a little game of Q&A? We’ll go around clockwise and then counterclockwise. If the person takes more than three seconds to answer, the last person can give them a punishment. Any question is okay, oh. I guess now the little cuties in the broadcast room must all be saying ‘Male God, Male God, quickly say yes!’”
Fanbase: “Goddess, you know us so well! o(*&#k2267;&#k25KB;&#k2266;)&#k30A4;”
The goddess went first. She asked, “Ah Xing, what’s it like to be called Baby Teddy by your fans?”
Wow, so ruthless right at the start! The audience in the broadcast room perked up their ears.
Teddy: “Of course I feel proud! Cousin, can you make the Island Owner-Dada treat me better?”
“Can’t.” The ruthless My Feng turned to his left despite Teddy’s aggravation, “Did you have fun recently, Little Fool?”
Island Owner-Dada: “Everything else is fine, but don’t call me Island Owner-Dada anymore, guys! It’s not like I’m on Peach Blossom Island here. And I’m not Guo Jing or Huang Yu, so just call me Mai Tao or MaiMai!” (Internal Memo: The original owner doesn’t like to be called Island Owner, ah. I haven’t been able to purify negative soul force for three days straight!)
His question was, “Zhang-Ge, are you wearing underwear today?”
Zhang-Leader, whose undies were washed away by the river when he went to take a bath: “…I am, thank you very much! Cheng-Laoshi, I heard you’re getting remarried, is that true?”
Cheng-Laoshi: “It is. I’ll treat everyone to a glass at the wedding banquet then. Xiao Chu, got a boyfriend yet?”
Goddess, “I want one, but I’m still waiting for the right person haha. Laoshi, why did you divorce and remarry your ex-wife?”
“That’s two questions now, isn’t it?” said Cheng-Laoshi cleverly, “Remarriage is of course because we still love each other. Oh Xiao Qiao, when are you going to marry your girlfriend?”
Zhang-Leader, who got cornered again: “…After going through this hardship I’ve learned that life is too short. I’ll propose to her when we get back! MaiMai, have you ever been in love?”
MaiMai: “Yup. Male God, how many times have you been in love?”
The honeybees all perked up their ears, only to hear their Male God say, “Once.” Aoaoao, when was it and with whom?! Qing-Jie, come out and spill the details!!!
My Feng asked Teddy, “Do you know I still have that ugly picture of you when you were teething?”
Teddy was horrified, “What are you trying to do?!”
The stars were all excited to see My Feng smiling without saying a word: God Feng, please leak the picture!
After Teddy asked the goddess a question, it was time to go clockwise again. He took the opportunity to ask My Feng, “Why did you save my picture?!”
My Feng faintly said, “To ward off evil spirits.”
Pfft—
Haha, how ugly was it to be able to ward off evil spirits?
Ignoring Teddy’s puffed up fur, My Feng continued to ask, “Little Fool, how many times have you been in love?”
Haha, wasn’t this a familiar question!
MaiMai: “Once. Just one person.”
When the circle came back, he asked My Feng, “Do you truly love the person you’re in love with?”
My Feng: “Yes.”
Ao ao ao!!!!
This was planetary level breaking news, ah!!!
What made them even more excited was that My Feng and MaiMai seemed to stay on this topic↓↓↓!
My Feng: “What do you mean by just one person?”
MaiMai: “It means I’ll only love this person for the rest of my life.”
“How much do you love the other person?”
My Feng’s deep voice slowly said words from his heart, “In good times and bad, for richer or poorer, in health and in sickness, in joy and in sorrow…I will love him unreservedly and be faithful to him.”
“Will you marry the man you love?”
MaiMai: “Of course.”
“Would you still be with him if your fans were against you going into a relationship?”
My Feng: “Of course, the fans may stay with me in my youth, but I will be with him for a lifetime.”
“What about you? If the whole world was against you, would you still stick with the person you love?”
MaiMai smiled happily, “For the rest of my life. There’s nothing that could come between him and I.”
[Ding, the target’s current favorability value has been updated. Current favorability value: +81.]
……
Little Teddy had a million arrows in his back. “When did this happen ahhhh?!?”
The honeybees: “We want to know too!!!”
“Qing-Jie, come out here!”
“My Feng has a crush on someone…”
“I want to cry so badly.”
“I must have watched a fake Wilderness Survival. This is obviously breaking entertainment news live on scene!”
“I didn’t go into the broadcast room today! No, no, no!!”
“Guys, let’s be sensible. My Feng looks like he likes that guy, so don’t pressure him! He has his own life too.”
But the voices of sane fans were drowned out in a sea of tears!
MaiMai: “I guess your fans are crying now. Do you have anything you want to say to them?”
All they heard from My Feng was, “I’m very happy now. I’ve never felt this way in 27 years.”
The honeybees tried to hold it together, but the crying got louder soon. “Qing-Jie, come out already! We can’t take it anymore!!!!
On this day, the broadcast room turned into an ocean.
====《Seeking Survival on Wilderness Island》Holo image of the scene · Day 5 ↓↓=====
No matter how much the outside world was shaken, life on the island was as quiet as ever. The ‘culprit’, Su Chu, regretted ever proposing that game a hundred times. You could imagine that life after the island would become very busy.
However, they didn’t have time to worry about the future now.
Today, they were rafting across the river to the second resting place at the center of the island. When it was time to leave, Ming Xing and the others didn’t even bother packing their things. They pulled out all the grass growing near the rocks in a panic and helped each other stuff grass wherever they could on their person. If they could transform into grass themselves, they would. On the other hand, Gou Liang and He ChongFeng very calmly drank water on the side.
Ming Xing said as he stuffed the grass into his belt, “Cousin, you should hurry up, ah. We have to hike over half the island today, how can you not prepare beforehand?”
He ChongFeng watched them quietly, but didn’t do anything.
When everyone was finally able to carry their bags and leave, only then did Gou Liang pull out a canister from his backpack. “Wu, did I forget to tell you guys that I made a medicinal juice with this grass yesterday so you could just spray it on your body?”
The four people who rubbed the grass on their bodies until their skin broke: “…MaiMai, are you holding a grudge against us?”
Gou Liang smiled. “I just think the fans would appreciate you guys working so hard like suckers. No need to thank me.”
The four of them stared at the malevolent Gou Liang and his enabler, He ChongFeng, aggrieved.
After three hours of traveling through the forest, they finally arrived at the river in the center of the island. The river was about four to five meters wide at its source, and it passed through a steep stone cliff before suddenly widening to about twenty meters. The main stream and its dozens of white tributary waterfalls flowed straight down, creating a spectacular, magnificent and beautiful sight! But…looking at the rapids, and then at their only means of crossing it, the tree vines, the other four gulped in unison and asked, “MaiMai, we’re really going to swing through here?”
They didn’t have Gou Liang’s ability to run up a twenty-meter high trunk by grabbing a vine. If they fell…
Looking at the turbulent river, Su Chu and the others went weak in the knees.
Even Cheng Bei asked with a heavy face, “MaiMai, is there no other way to cross?”
“The river must be crossed, but there’s more than one way to go about it.” Gou Liang said, “It’s closest here, but you can climb that tree and look across to the hill where our second camp is. For a detour, we could go midstream or downstream to cross the river, but I truly suggest you don’t do that.”
They asked, “Why?”
Gou ‘Philosopher’ Liang: “Everything in the world is like this. No matter how much you experience, you will find that the first time is the best.”
Everyone: “…Then we’d better go test it out.”
Right now, none of them could believe that there could be anything more terrifying than what was in front of them.
=====《Seeking Survival on Wilderness Island》Holo Broadcast, Day 5 – The Thrilling Hour ↓↓=====
“Ah!!!”
The audience followed their gods and goddess to the middle and lower reaches of the river where the current wasn’t as swift, but before they could reach the shore, their gods and goddess screamed!!!!
A crocodile suddenly leapt out of the water and opened its jaws to roar out a warning. Its sharp fangs seemed eager to bisect the two-legged beasts that had trespassed into its domain.
“Ahhhhh!”
“OMG, that scared the shit out of me!”
“Thank goodness I was prepared after what MaiMai said, otherwise I’d be in the hospital now with my fragile little heart!”
“Mama, it’s dangerous here! Let’s go home!”
“…To see with my own eyes what it means to be disgraced and heartbroken. Poor Goddess.”
“My Feng stood in front of them so quickly. He’s so cool but…please back up, Darling! If you get bitten, I’ll jump from the ninth floor right now! (/TДT)/ ”
“MaiMai is so wicked! My little Teddy is going to piss his pants, okay!”
……
But they just saw MaiMai calmly pat My Feng on the shoulder and look to the others who were huddled together. “Don’t be afraid, it won’t bite you if you don’t go into their three-meter attack radius.”
Goddess: “But it-it’s coming out! π__π ”
MaiMai shrugged, “I can’t believe how scared you all are. That’s why I said the other routes weren’t suitable. There’s just crocodiles here, but further down there’s piranhas, electric eels, and pythons…So, do you guys need to keep going?”
Little Teddy hugged the nearest person, Zhang-Leader, tightly and said, “You should have told us earlier! I wouldn’t have come for the life of me then.”
MaiMai: “I thought you guys would be more willing to sacrifice yourselves and let the fans witness these rare creatures in action.”
The fans: “……”
The fans: “But we don’t really want to see that. Heartbroken for my idols. QAQ”
Good thing My Feng stroked MaiMai’s head in time to stop his deranged behaviour. MaiMai also said regretfully: “These creatures are the highlight of my island. What you’re doing now shouldn’t be called wilderness survival, but the raising of greenhouse babies.”
Leader: “…Fine, I’m a greenhouse baby.”
So they went back the way they came. The kind-hearted crew used the holographic tools on the island to film these exotic creatures, allowing the fans to pass a dry spell in fear and excitement.
They were back under the turbulent waterfall upstream again.
Cheng-Laoshi: “I don’t think I’ve ever been on such a heartbreaking and long trip in the 40 years I’ve been alive.”
The goddess said with trepidation: “M-MaiMai, how are we going to get across? T T”
MaiMai pointed with his finger.
A river-crossing cable, obviously man-made, appeared in front of them.
Ming Xing collapsed. “Why didn’t you tell me earlier?! My feet hurt!”
MaiMai: “You guys were the ones who asked me if there was any other way out first, soooo╭(╯^╰)╮.”
Ming Xing saw Gou Liang’s enabler, My Feng, shoot him a look. “He has no obligation to take responsibility for your life.”
Ming Xing: “…Aunt, quickly tell me this guy isn’t my cousin (>﹏<,).”
Despite their fear of the crocodiles, they were still afraid when they stepped onto the high platform. Even though there were professionals from the crew on both sides to guide them, it couldn’t soothe their apprehension.
Goddess: “After living for almost 30 years, I’ve realized that I’m afraid of heights.”
Little Teddy, who was truly afraid of heights, had squatted on the ground and refused to stand up. “I also just realized that I’m afraid of water.”
But no matter what, they still had to get on the ‘torture platform’.
Their luggage went first. Having stocked up on food in the last few days, their six hiking packs now had an additional vine-woven bag of varying weights attached.
Afterwards, MaiMai was the first one to go and gave a good demonstration of the technique. My Feng brought up the rear to give them more courage.
Cheng-Laoshi went second. He buckled himself into the steel harness of the slide. Thanks to his experience from filming action scenes, he managed to not make a fool of himself. But the other three, Goddess, Leader and Teddy, slid to the other side with their eyes tightly closed while screaming.
“I saw My Xing’s tonsils _(:з ∠)_”
“Tonsils are nothing, my goddess screamed until she lost her voice… How heartbreaking.”
“Leader didn’t scream and kept his mouth shut. So manly… It would’ve been even better if he didn’t have tears leaking from the corners of his eyes lol.”
“The user upstairs isn’t human. How can you laugh at them?! I’m crying as I watch this, okay!”
“My Feng is still so handsome today—was it that little goblin that stole My Feng!!! It’s been twenty-four hours since Qing-Jie was online, is the PR department dead or something?!”
“Don’t remind me of something so painful, okay?”
……
The live broadcast continued as the honeybees watched with pain and joy in equal measures.
