Discussing The Correct Posture To Enjoy Dog Food-Chapter 14 - Strawberry Flavored Scholar Gong (14): Crazy kissing monster, muddled by the fairer sex
Chapter 14 - Strawberry Flavored Scholar Gong (14): Crazy kissing monster, muddled by the fairer sex
Translator: KunLin
Editors: Amaris, Grump
After opening the door to a whole new world, afternoon break ended.
It was time to return to class.
Li LinLing secretly glanced back at the table behind her. As usual, Scholar Shi was reading a book that she couldn’t understand. En, the content of this book must be especially deep, seeing how classmate Shi Yu’s reading speed was visibly slow. As for Gou Liang, he was currently sleeping after fooling around with Shi Yu for an entire period, his face buried on his desk—this scene was rather common, ah.
Li LinLing slipped a note to her deskmate: Don’t you feel that the atmosphere between Scholar Shi and Ah Cheng is a bit weird?
Chen LiBai: You don’t understand the world of scholars.
Chen LiBai saw Li LinLing repeatedly glancing back and passed her another note: Stop thinking about them with that weird pit you call a brain, just focus on class.
Without needing Chen LiBai’s warning, after receiving a smile.jpg from Shi Yu, Li LinLing hurriedly turned her head around in a fluster. She sat up straight and seriously listened to the lecture.
The corner of Gou Liang’s mouth was slightly raised, one of his hands was sprawled out on the desk and was used as a pillow while his other hand was attentively fiddling with Shi Yu’s right hand, which Shi Yu had hidden inside his desk. Gou Liang rubbed Shi Yu’s knuckles and fingers as if it was the most exciting game in the world, which he would never get tired of.
Shi Yu saw the people in front exchanging little notes and activated his ‘secret conversation’ skill.
His eyes never left the book he was reading but his right hand caught onto Gou Liang’s hand. He spread Gou Liang’s hand out and wrote on his palm:
Do you agree?
Gou Liang’s palm felt a little itchy. He flexed his fingers and slowly wrote out a few question marks on Shi Yu’s palm.
He turned his head towards Shi Yu, revealing a part of his eyes. He used his eyes to express his confusion.
Shi Yu: You are my boyfriend and I am yours.
As the words were written one by one onto Gou Liang’s palm, his large and innocent looking eyes revealed a smile that grew increasingly brighter. Likewise, he had experienced the unparalleled delightfulness of Shi Yu’s soul—the taste remained sweet and delicious no matter how many times he tasted it! Sadly, he couldn’t eat it right now ah… feeling pitiful, he honestly expressed his feelings right now to Shi Yu↓
Gou Liang: I want to kiss you.
The smile on Shi Yu’s face immediately became bigger, his hand that had been flipping the book’s page knocked against the pen on his desk, causing it to fall to the floor.
Shi Yu stooped down and lowered his head. As he picked up the pen, he kissed Gou Liang’s palm.
Gou Liang’s hand heated up. Even though he was unable to taste the delicious flavor in his mouth, he felt an inexplicable sense of happiness swelling up.
Shi Yu smiled as he observed Gou Liang’s expression attentively. He then intertwined his fingers with Gou Liang’s.
As the two exchange looks between them, the math teacher once again asked a question to the students. When no one replied, he glanced across the room and locked onto Gou Liang who was laying on his desk ‘sleeping’. The math teacher cleared his throat and said: “Student Qi Cheng, come up and show everyone how to solve this problem.”
Before Gou Liang could respond, Shi Yu who was smiling foolishly immediately switched to his expressionless woodenface.jpg. He got up and walked to the board to answer the question.
Gou Liang: (○’ω’○)
Math teacher: “…” He didn’t even have the chance to tell Shi Yu that the person he called on was someone else.
The entire class: “…”
They looked at Gou Liang who raised his head from the crook of his arm and had an expression of wanting to sleep more. Then they looked at Scholar Shi who was calmly writing down the steps to solve the problem on the blackboard. They all cried ying ying ying in their heart: As expected of YuLe High’s number one school grass, so considerate and kind, why didn’t they have such a deskmate!
Only Li LinLing reacted differently. As the leader of an evil cult that was constantly searching for more members, she held her face and screamed excitedly in her heart: So meng! This sort of scene, give me a dozen more!
After writing down the last mark, Shi Yu turned around and said: “Classmate Qi Cheng didn’t sleep well this afternoon, Teacher. Please don’t take offense.”
When the math teacher heard his underlying meaning of ‘do not disturb’, other than smiling and saying yes, what else could he do?
Gou Liang lowered his head. He almost couldn’t resist laughing.
【The System was smashed by a surge of pink bubbles, but it had already lost the will to mount a struggle: Ding, it has already been over 24 hours since the Mainframe assigned the mission. May Master complete the mission requirements within 48 hours or the rewards will be halved.】
【Gou Liang: …Tch. 】
Gou Liang retrieved Shi Yu’s hand and wrote on his palm: I’m going to sleep for a bit.
Shi Yu squeezed his hand expressing he understood.
Gou Liang closed his eyes. He quickly went on to the mission experience forum and wrote about the specific details for the correct method to retrieve the fragment ↓
Current known method: To retrieve the fragment there needs to be mouth-to-mouth contact and it needs to be initiated by the target in order for it to work. P.S. The deeper and more thorough the contact is, the faster the fragment is retrieved.
After posting this on the forum, Gou Liang exited out and suddenly thought of something. He asked the System if he could post a gourmet notice on the Space-Time Administration Bureau’s main forum.
&#k3010;Soon after, the System conveyed the reply from the Mainframe: Ding, Master, as long as you don’t expose the confidential details of the mission, you can post through the Mainframe using your Space-Time work account.&#k3011;
When Gou Liang heard this, he began to write happily. He wrote the post in exhaustive depths, putting in more effort than he did when writing about the mission experience. The heading was as follow ↓↓
#The most delicious food in the entirety of Space and Time: Positive spirit force. # # Discussing the correct way to enjoy Positive soul force#
0L: As per the caption, this poster is speaking from personal experience.
My fellow comrades, are you still eating colorless and tasteless spirit coins? Are you aware every day you are missing out on the most delicious food to ever exist in space and time?! Try it now, you won’t regret it! You won’t be disappointed! What are you still waiting for? Hurry up and take action!
Food source: Resides in the human body (suitable for friends on a mission or vacation), the soul force of another living being (refer to employee rule No.109).
Eating method: Consume directly. (My foolish fellow souls, stop accepting the spirit coin rewards! Directly consume the positive soul force from its source! You will experience the sensation of having your taste buds reborn!!)
Taste description: The main flavor is similar to strawberry (This is from a C-ranked world). Along with the light sweetness, you can taste all the delicious flavors that you can imagine! The flavors will collide intensely on your taste buds! It forms an indescribable sense of deliciousness! I can only say—I have no regrets in this life. (﹃)
Please note: You may need an organism that is unable to normally circulate their soul force. That way you can enjoy this delicacy without violating the Space-Time Administration Bureau’s employee rules.
The Gourmet Section was the least popular section in the Space-Time Forum. As souls, they didn’t need to eat. And to recover their sense of taste, they would have to pay a large number of spirit coins to the Omniscient Experience Shop. In short, other than Gou Liang, this big foodie, no one really cared if the food tasted good or not. Even so, Gou Liang as the forum master still wrote with seriousness.
After publishing the post, Gou Liang finally managed to calm some of his excited emotions.
【Gou Liang: Little Wanton, where is my reward for writing the mission experience? 】
【The System roasted: My dear Master, I thought in your eyes rewards are already no better than dirt, ne.】
As it said this, it pulled up a screen with the reward.
The reward was divided into two parts. The first part: if the experience was useful to other mission undertakers or if the post received a gift, then the points earned would all be given to Gou Liang. The second part was in the form of a lottery: Because Gou Liang’s rank on the Mission Forum was the most basic ‘novice’, the prize would be between 0-100 points.
Gou Liang heard this and recalled that during the System Shop Lottery, the range of the prize was also restricted to items worth 1-100 points because he was only the lowest White Diamond rank.
【Gou Liang: If my rank rises, will the value of the prize also increase correspondingly? 】
【System: Yes, Master.】
【System: According to the reward system, the reward will be divided into two parts. One part is the System Shop Lottery and the other part is the benefits from the experience post. All of them are closely related to your current rank.】
【System: Customer ranks in the system shop: White Diamond (1 point spent); Blue Diamond (1000 points spent); Gold Diamond (10000 points spent); Black Diamond (100 K points spent). For every increase in rank, the worth of the prize will be increased tenfold. The price range of the prize for White Diamond rank is 1-100 points, for Blue Diamond rank it’s 101-1000 points, etc. 】
【System: Rewards given by experience point are determined by the poster’s rank on the Mission Forum: White Horse (1 experience point obtained); Green Horse (100 experience points obtained); Blue Horse (1000 experience point obtained); Red Horse (10000 experience points obtained); Violet Horse (100K experience points obtained). A lottery chance will be given for each completion of a mission assigned by the Mainframe. Additionally, should there be no special circumstances, the benefits earned by the experience post will be split fifty-fifty between the Forum and the Poster. 】
【Gou Liang: So you’re saying, even if I reached Violet Horse rank, there would still be a chance of me drawing 0 points as a prize? →-→】
【System: But at the same time, Master may be able to draw a prize worth 100K for free, oh! ＾ｖ＾】
Despite knowing the chance of this was low, Gou Liang was still moved by the System’s words. He decided that, after he drew the lottery, he would surf through the forum to see if there was any way to earn some experience points.
【Gou Liang: Then how can I trigger the System Shop’s reward mechanism?】
【System: Sorry, Master. The procedure is directly controlled by the Mainframe, so I do not have the authority to inquire about it. A friendly reminder, as long as you earnestly do your missions, you will definitely be rewarded, oh! 】
【Gou Liang: Using rewards to motivate me?—I gladly accept! ^ – ^】
【System: …】
Gou Liang had been fully encouraged and no longer hesitated, he quickly selected one of the 100 golden boxes that were suspended in the air and opened it—
【System: Ding, congratulations Master for obtaining—a reward worth 2 points. But do not be disheartened, persist in your effort and anything may be possible, oh! Hehe. laughing-awkwardly.jpg 】
Gou Liang didn’t reply.
Gou Liang silently retreated from his sea of consciousness, buried his head into his desk and bit onto Shi Yu’s slender finger—only delicious food can heal my broken spirits! ！┭┮﹏┭┮
That night.
Gou Liang was sitting at his desk, silently racing against time.
Just a few hours ago, Gou Liang splurged 30 points to buy a Speed Reading Filtering Lens prop that was effective for three hours. He planned to read all the written works on love psychology in this world—the use of the Speed Reading Filtering Lens lied in its ability to pick out the theories that had been mentioned in various books with more than 60% similarity, helping Gou Liang obtain the needed information with the highest efficiency.
He was never one to like studying, his current action naturally had a reason behind it ↓
He realized that only relying on the romantic insights that he had gained from viewing soul images of other people wasn’t enough to help him grasp the initiative and maintain an advantage in actual combat. For the sake of increasing the favorability value, in order to avoid a situation where he would be at a loss for what to do, he had to understand the enemy well so he could ensure success.
Like so, three hours passed by in a blink.
The Speed Reading Filtering Lens prop disappeared from his eyes, Gou Liang leaned back. He closed his eyes and massaged his temple to ease the headache caused by the prolonged period of high intensity reading. He offhandedly tossed the books that he hadn’t finished reading to his bedside cabinet.
When the throbbing eased, he lifted his hand to turn off the light and leisurely decided to head off to sleep.
【System: Ding, Master, the target is still writing the host’s name, ne.】
【Gou Liang: Uh-huh, that’s normal.】
【System: How is this normal?! 】
Gou Liang was reminded of his sadness by the System, so he didn’t answer it—his heart ached. He managed to endure until after school with much difficulty, but because of the cut on his tongue, his demand for a kiss/meal was ruthlessly rejected by the other. This mission undertaker would like to express his protest against this tyranny. Even the mission progress bar jumping from 2.5% to 2.9% could not fill up the hollowness in him caused by his unfulfilled desires and cravings!
So in retaliation, he mercilessly drove that rational-to-a-fault dog Shi Yu out of his apartment.
Of course, Gou Liang who had rubbed his lips swollen wouldn’t tell you: After the mission progress bar had reached 2.9%, even after they kissed for ten whole minutes, he was still unable to increase the progress bar any further by even the slightest margin. The truth was, no matter how much he kissed, he couldn’t retrieve the fragment.
Suddenly.
【The System said in a shaking voice：M-M-Master!】
Not waiting for Gou Liang to respond, the flustered System pulled up the blindspot monitor of the target for him to see.
In the monitor, Shi Yu’s position was exactly the same as half an hour ago. However, the white paper filled with black words which was placed at the corner of the desk had undergone tremendous change. Originally, ‘Qi Cheng’, these two words had been written neatly on the paper. But the target had used a brush to draw a big X through them. The X became messier and messier until it was practically a black splotch of ink. The original words ‘Qi Cheng’ were colored until they were no longer visible.
…This picture greatly resembled the scene in a popular movie that the System had seen from this world, it was just like when the killer wrote down the name of his next victim.
Following after.
The target finally stopped his scribbling. He switched to writing another word.
Fool.
The word ‘Fool’ was written consecutively for five pages. They overheard the sound of the target laughing once. Then, as if a pause button had been pressed in the study room, it became completely silent with no movements whatsoever. They could only stare at the unmoving scene in the blindspot monitor. It was only after Shi Yu finished admiring his own handiwork and contentedly left the room did Gou Liang and the System finally see the black and white paper that had caused Shi Yu to appreciate it for 5 whole minutes; the paper was clearly highly valued, it was arranged to be displayed on the centermost of the desk and was carefully kept in place by a paperweight.
——Fool.
When this word entered the eyes of Gou Liang and the System, they were speechless save for the drawn out “emmmmm” in the sea of consciousness.
【The System couldn’t bear it anymore: Master, confess honestly, what did you do to the target?! TДT 】
【Gou Liang: …Was it because I drove him out of the house?⊙▽⊙ 】
Gou Liang had intensively studied love psychology but was still baffled by the scene before him. He and the System silently stared at the favorability value. After confirming that the favorability value didn’t decrease and was still safely at +80, the two of them let out a sigh of relief.
Before Gou Liang could search through today’s memory and figure out where he had offended the target for him to repeatedly write ‘Fool’, he received a text message from the target.
From: Most delicious in space and time: Asleep?
Didn’t seem like he was angry, ma. Gou Liang pondered while replying back.
To: Most delicious in space and time: Baby is asleep. sleeping-while sucking-on-pacifier.jpg
From: Most delicious in space and time: Oh. Goodnight.
To: Most delicious in space and time: You forgot to ask me what I’m doing right now. →3→
From: Most delicious in space and time: Oh, dearest boyfriend, what are you doing right now, ne?
Gou Liang felt warm inside, a smile suddenly appeared on his face. The gloominess that he was feeling from being unable to taste the delicious flavor dispersed greatly. He smiled and answered back: Dear deskmate, I’m thinking about my boyfriend, ah.
From: Most delicious in space and time: So am I.
Gou Liang laughed.
The System who was once again buried in a sea of pink bubbles: Did my master make a huge profit again? [Strokes chin thoughtfully]
On the third day since the gentleman’s tongue had been injured.
PE class.
The PE teacher announced: “Students, you all might have heard Yu Cheng Basketball Championship Cup will be held a month from now. Same as before, students of Year One and Year Two will be participating, so each class must choose five representatives. You have already participated once last year. I trust that the Sports Committee members will be able to skillfully handle this event. An extra representative should be chosen as a substitute so as to not have a repeat of what happened last year.”
During last year’s Yu Cheng Championship Cup, a student from Class Three had gotten hurt while playing, so a substitute had to be brought in to play. However, the substitute player had limited skills and had not undergone training with the rest of the members to cultivate teamwork, so, as a result, Class Three was eliminated in the first round.
Upon hearing that they had to hand in the name list of the representatives to the school by the end of class, the Sports Committee members got down to business.
After they finished running as warm up, the Sports Committee member first went to find Gou Liang and Shi Yu, inviting them to participate.
Gou Liang: “But I’ve never played basketball before, ah.”
The Sports Committee member disappointedly scratched his head, “Then nevermind. What about you, Shi Yu?”
Shi Yu ignored him. He lowered his head and said to Gou Liang who was obviously interested: “Do you want to participate? I can teach you.”
Gou Liang: “Okay!”
The Sports Committee member: “…Then I’ll be writing down both of your names, oh.” Anyway, it didn’t matter if there were a couple extra substitutes, it was fine as long as you were having fun ma, hehehe.
Shi Yu first told him the basic rules of the game and the correct posture to properly hold a basketball—He was always patient and polite when dealing with people. No matter who came to him with a question, he would not be stingy with his teaching. Not to mention that now his ‘student’ was Gou Liang, naturally he would only be more attentive and caring. On the contrary, Gou Liang felt that Shi Yu was talking too much. He took away the basketball from Shi Yu’s hand and said: “In other words, as long as the ball is thrown into the hoop, points will be given?”
“Essentially…”
Before he could finish speaking, he saw Gou Liang jump, shoot, and land. This entire set of movement was done smoothly in one breath—there was a plop sound, the basketball soared through the air, passed through the hoop, and landed onto the ground.
Gou Liang patted his hands: “It’s just this easy?”
“…”
Shi Yu smiled: “Yes, it’s just this easy.”
The Sports Committee member who had witnessed this entire scene stiffly looked at the throwing distance that spanned across two thirds of the sports field. He was silent for a moment, then excitedly grabbed Gou Liang and said: “Ah Cheng, you’re amazing! Learn well. Whether or not our class can break away from our previous shame, it will all rely on you and Shi Yu!”
Shi Yu stared at the hands on Gou Liang: “…”
“Okay.” Gou Liang peeled off the other’s hands and said to Shi Yu: “Bring back the basketball and let’s continue practicing.”
Shi Yu was instantly healed.
Thus on the sports field, there was this scene↓
Two people with such outstanding looks and abilities they replaced Zhan Yongzhe and Ye Hui as top scholars and school grass, a single basketball, and a crowd of female students surrounding half the basketball court as they screamed enthusiastically.
Gou Liang tried to dribble the ball past Shi Yu while finding a chance to shoot—the latter, relying on height advantage and his superior techniques, had already repeatedly foiled Gou Liang’s attempt to shoot, slamming the basketball down everytime. Sweat dripping down their cheeks, Gou Liang and Shi Yu both stooped their backs and lowered their center of gravity. They stared straight at each other’s eyes, neither party willing to yield to the other. Seeing that it was almost time for class to end but he was still unable to shoot the ball through the hoop even once, Gou Liang hooked the corner of his mouth and whispered: “Dear deskmate, don’t you think this scene right now is very much like the time when we played that direction game? Do you know why you lost to me at that time?”
Shi Yu: “Oh? Requesting for more details.”
Gou Liang: “Because~you~were~muddled~by~the~fairer~sex~. I believe that you will also lose to me today for the same reason. What do you say, ne?”
Shi Yu suppressed his laughter. He said with a deadpan expression, “You’re absolutely correct.”
Before he finished speaking, Gou Liang was already a step ahead. He jumped from outside the three pointer line, shot, and the basketball went straight through the hoop!
Through the applause and cheers of the crowd, Gou Liang smugly jumped around. Mimicking the basketball stars on TV, he used his chest to knock against Shi Yu’s chest. The smile in each other’s eyes became even brighter.
The bell rang at this moment, signifying the end of class.
In the locker room.
When everyone else was gone, Gou Liang immediately dropped his water bottle that was half drunk. He walked in front of Shi Yu and impatiently kissed him.
Shi Yu hugged him in response, he brushed against Gou Liang’s lips with a lingering kiss. But when Gou Liang’s tongue attempted to slip past his lips, rational dog Shi Yu stepped back. He said while panting: “Can’t, you’ll hurt.”
Gou Liang who had already ‘abstained’ for an entire day was infuriated.
【Gou Liang: Little Wanton, heal my wound right now, heal it immediately! 】
【System: Yes, Master. According to your request, the following system props can meet the requirements: Regeneration Prop, cost 100 points. However, a sample can be given at the price of 10 points; also—】
【Gou Liang: Stop talking so much! Just this one then!】
The shocked System placed down the order with shaking fingers: I was going to say that a soul returning grass for 1 point can also fulfill your request ah, Master…
Gou Liang who would always calculate gains and losses as well as haggle over every cent did not think of this at all in this moment. He impatiently stuck out his tongue. “I’m already better, look!”
Shi Yu’s breathing quickened.
Gou Liang pressed his lips against Shi Yu’s, nipping Shi Yu’s lips, urging him to open his mouth. This time Shi Yu didn’t hesitate anymore, locking Gou Liang into his embrace, he fiercely and passionately entered his mouth, intertwining with his soft tongue.
【Ding!! Mission progress bar has increased. Current completion rate: 3%!!! 】
Gou Liang: So rough, so rough, ah~
System: …It turns out you were this sort of Master. _(:зゝ∠)_
