Discussing The Correct Posture To Enjoy Dog Food-Chapter 12 - Strawberry Flavored Scholar Gong (12): I want the fragment, he wants to bed me
Chapter 12 - Strawberry Flavored Scholar Gong (12): I want the fragment, he wants to bed me
Translator: KunLin
Editor: Amaris, Grump
After the afternoon break.
The hottest topic in Year Two Class Three had already changed from the group dinner at Gou Liang’s house to the breaking news of Ye Hui getting into a car accident.
The first one to hear this news was Li LinLing—her mother worked at the hospital where the accident occurred—once she passed the news of Ye Hui being hospitalized to Li LinLing, it immediately caused a sensational wave.
Li LinLing sighed ruefully and said: “Ye Hui has been really unlucky recently. You guys don’t know this, but my mom said he was already a famous figure in the hospital. He kept saying that his body felt unwell, but the hospital couldn’t diagnose any problems, so the doctor could only say it was a psychological pain caused by too much academic pressure. Who would’ve thought that before he could recover from one thing this sort of accident would happen? I heard that he needs to be hospitalized for at least three months, ne… Ah Cheng, are you listening?”
After the group dinner, it was unknown who changed their form of address for Gou Liang first, but now the majority of the class called him Ah Cheng.
In Gou Liang’s sea of consciousness, the system was crazily spamming his mind with the following content ↓↓
【Ding! Congratulations Master for achieving 0.1% of the mission progress. 60 points have been rewarded, asking Master to check and confirm the transaction! More points are waiting for you, oh. What are you hesitating for? What are you waiting for? Quickly use your unparalleled beauty and unrivaled wisdom to conquer sweetheart Shi Yu, ba!】
What the fuck was sweetheart Shi Yu!
Gou Liang was rattling off a string of profanities in his mind, but on the surface he furrowed his brows and said towards Li LinLing who was sharing inside information: “I’m listening, ne.”
【System: How did you do it Master? Quickly do it again! Aim for victory, be fearless in the face of danger, persist in the midst of struggle—】
【Gou Liang: Couldn’t tell before, but your literature level is not bad, ma.】
【System: Hehe, isn’t it because of your teaching, Master? Master, what are you thinking about, ne? Your sea of consciousness is so dark and quiet, I’m so scared, TvT。】
The System who had been chattering non-stop finally revealed the real reason why he continuously spammed messages in order to brush up some sense of existence.
【Gou Liang: I’m contemplating.】
【System: face-full-of-question-mark.jpg】
【Gou Liang: Shi Yu, he…likes me?】
【System: Of course la, Master. If favorability value surpasses +60 then it can be considered as ‘like’. The target’s current favorability value has already reached +75.】
【Gou Liang: You don’t understand. The memory stored in my soul mirror imageis telling me—he wants to bed me.】
【The System with a face full of innocence: And then?】
【Gou Liang rubbed his temple:…】
【Ding! Master, the Mainframe sent over a congratulatory telegram and said that after you’ve successfully retrieved the fragment, you are to write a report on the retrieval method and send it to the Mission Experience Forum. 】
【System: May Master take notice of the telegram above↑. You can get a mysterious reward by uploading your experiences, oh! 】
【Gou Liang immediately became spirited and asked: Reward?】
【System: Yes, a mysterious reward. It’s full of secrets. [Quick-witted]】
【Gou Liang: fucking-retard.jpg】
【System: Ying.】
Li LinLing once again noticed Gou Liang being absent-minded and asked worriedly: “Ah Cheng, what are you off in a daze for? Are you feeling uncomfortable anywhere?”
Shi Yu lifted his head up from his book. Just as he was about to say something, he noticed that from the desk diagonally opposite to them, Zhan Yongzhe was looking at Gou Liang with a measuring look. It was unknown what he was thinking of, but Shi Yu set down his book and tilted his body to block Zhan Yongzhe’s line of sight before asking Gou Liang in a low voice: “You want to visit the hospital?”
Gou Liang didn’t notice this little scene. He looked at Shi Yu with a complicated expression before smoothing out his brows. He smiled and said: “Of course. Such a rare occasion like this, how can I not go and personally take a look? I was just thinking if he would prefer white or yellow chrysanthemums.”
Shi Yu couldn’t help but smile. “I advise you to not give any.”
Gou Liang twitched his mouth. “Hmph, I’m not stupid.”
Wouldn’t it be a loss for him to give flowers? Thus, when school ended, Gou Liang carried his school bag and arrived at the hospital empty-handed with a haggard appearance.
“Mom, is brother alright?”
The worried Cheng Li didn’t hear what Gou Liang said clearly. She thought that he was a nurse who had come by to ask about the situation. When she lifted her head up and saw that it was him, her swollen and red eyes revealed a trace of annoyance. “Why are you here? Xiao Hui wouldn’t be happy to see you, so can you not come here to cause any more troubles?”
Cheng Li’s current worry and distress were all genuine.
When Ye Hui was undergoing surgery, Gou Liang had seen Cheng Li’s appearance as she cried uncontrollably outside the operation room through the monitor.
Perhaps at the beginning her motives hadn’t been pure—when this woman first started to build her new family, she didn’t feel a sense of security. She was deeply afraid of being tossed aside by Ye Chao, so she tried her best to take care of Ye Hui and even fawned over him in hopes of becoming a person who was useful and needed in her new family. But just like this, one year, two years passed… an entire 12 years was enough for genuine feelings to form, the mindset of caring and worrying over Ye Hui gradually became a habit.
This was the reason why Ye Hui didn’t reject this stepmother of his, and it was also the reason behind the original host’s grievance towards his birth mother and his hatred towards his stepbrother.
“Mom, I…”
Gou Liang’s complexion paled. He looked at Ye Hui who had fallen into a deep sleep while hooked up to IV drips and uneasily looked back at Cheng Li, all the while feeling lost and addled.
Fortunately, Ye Chao who had come back in a timely manner rescued him from this awkward situation.
“Xiao Cheng?” Ye Chao was surprised, but when he saw that the atmosphere between the mother and son pair was somewhat off, he gave Gou Liang a smile and asked: “School is already over? I apologize to you in your mother’s stead. Originally, she already had plans with you today…”
“Uncle Ye, there’s no need to apologize!” Gou Liang hurriedly shook his head. “This afternoon I heard from my classmate that brother had gotten into a car accident. I was worried, so I decided to come and take a look. Since both you and Mom are already here, there’s not much I can do, so I won’t be staying to inconvenience the both of you. As for little brother…” He paused as if suddenly remembering that he wasn’t welcomed by Ye Yao. He smiled weakly, lowered his head and said: “If there’s anything I can do, Uncle must let me know. I wish for brother’s swift recovery. I’ll be leaving first then.”
He left after he finished speaking despite Ye Chao’s offer for him to stay.
【System: Master, on Target Dada’s way home, he had the chauffeur buy digestive medicine and stomach medicine, ne. 】
【Gou Liang made a pfft sound and began to sing happily in his sea of consciousness: Today is a good day, all my dreams can come true~~】
【System: …Master, please upload a reliable report on retrieving the fragment soon.】
The pitiful System’s vision was full of mosaic because of the target. It was completely unaware of what had happened when the mission progress bar advanced by 0.1%, and its Master refused to tell him the details. This was abusing a system’s heart! Thankfully there was still the mandatory report request from the Mainframe. One of these days, it would learn of this secret.
【Gou Liang: What’s the rush? Whether it’s really because of that…I’ll need to try again before I can confirm it.】
【The System who was being kept in the dark: …Okay.】
When they entered the district gate, the System who had been inquiring about details on retrieving fragment suddenly alerted ↓
【System: Master, the target is currently approaching you. Also, the target seems to be monitoring you.】
【Gou Liang was surprised: Monitoring me?】
The System pulled up the target’s radar as well as the monitor of Shi Yu’s study for Gou Liang to see—Shi Yu was currently less than three minutes away from Gou Liang and the speed that he was approaching at was extremely fast.
As for the inside of Shi Yu’s study, the computer screen on the desk was displaying the district where Gou Liang currently resided. There were live cameras in the elevator of the building that he was living in, as well as the hallway in front of his apartment door. In one of the district’s monitors, there were three youths who lacked only the sign ‘I’m not a good person’ to stick onto their forehead. They were standing at the hedge outside of his apartment building and were pacing around back and forth. Gou Liang had the System pull up the monitor for these three people and sure enough, they were currently discussing how to teach “Qi Cheng” a lesson and obtain more benefits from Ye Hui.
Gou Liang raised his brow, he now understood why Shi Yu had hurriedly rushed over from his house.
【System: …Master, what are you smiling for? 】
【Gou Liang: Continue being an innocent system, you don’t need to understand. 】
【System: _(:зゝ∠)_ 】
Before the System could try to pry out more information from Gou Liang, it was interrupted by three dogs who blocked Gou Liang’s path.
“Yo, isn’t this a student from YuLe High? That’s a famous aristocratic school, ah. Little bro, big brother doesn’t have money for a smoke. Why don’t you give us brothers some pocket money to spend, eh?”
The delinquent who spoke had a hunched shoulder and his head was tilted. He had a gold tooth, and one of his hands was stuck in his pants’ pocket while the other was holding a cigarette.
【System: Master, I’ve seen this sort of plot before on TV! [Watching while eating melon seeds]】
Gou Liang smiled, revealing a harmless pair of dimples.
He said: “If you need money then go home and find your dads, ah. But if you want to, you can call me Dad.”
“Stinkin brat, who are you telling to call you Dad? Fuck, you’re looking for a beating—ah!!”
Gou Liang swung his school bag. The school bag filled with glass lunch boxes made a clang sound as it made contact with the rigid skull bone. Yellow Tooth spun on the spot. He felt his vision go white. He shook his head and had a hard time even standing up straight, his entire body swaying. A person by his side supported him up, the person’s voice quivered as he said: “B-blood…”
Yellow Tooth shook his head and saw his palm covered in blood.
There was another guy who had a tiger's back and a bear’s waistbut unfortunately no brains. He charged towards Gou Liang, wanting to take revenge for Yellow Tooth, but he tripped over Gou Liang’s foot and couldn’t get up again even after half a day.
Gou Liang clicked his tongue: ‘Their fighting prowess is too shitty, how disappointing.’
An expert would know the true value of something at a glance. The legs of the person supporting Yellow Tooth went soft, his legs dragged along as he tried to leave.
“Did I let you leave?” Gou Lia lifted the heavy school bag in his hand in a teasing manner. Satisfied upon seeing the soft legs grew even softer, he maintained his smile and said: “If you don’t want to get beaten, then take out all the valuables on you. If you wait until I personally search for them, then the three of you won’t be walking away with your legs today.”
Soft Legs had a stupefied expression.
Making contact with Gou Liang’s smiling eyes, his back was suddenly covered with a layer of cold sweat. With shaking hands, he searched through his own person as well as the two others for things like cash and cellphones—anything of monetary value. When he handed over the things to Gou Liang, he almost broke down and cried dad.
Gou Liang wasn’t polite and kindly accepted the offerings, he said: “Next time you take on a job, be smarter about it. When you meet a YuLe High student, be wary and take a detour. Do you understand? My territory, my people. If you stretch your hands too far, then I can’t guarantee that you’ll be able to take them back in one piece.”
“En, en, en.” Soft Legs nodded his head and bowed fearfully. After Gou Liang left, he respectfully saw Gou Liang off with his eyes.
【System: The target is currently nine meters away from Master. Is Master not going to see him?】
Gou Liang didn’t answer the dog system with low EQ, he just told it to enlarge the screen of the target’s monitoring.
As he thought, the three youths hired by Ye Hui had escaped the tiger’s cave only to step into the wolf’s den. They were captured by Shi Yu and were sent to the guard station. The latter then asked about the number of security guards employed in the district. When he found which of the guards had let those dangerous criminals in, he asked the property manager to strictly deal with a certain shift’s security guard on the spot. He also asked the property manager to personally hand the three people over to the nearest police station and to investigate the entire matter thoroughly.
From his words, it seemed that Ye Chao wouldn’t be able to sleep well tonight.
*
Before heading to bed.
【System: Master, the target is doing the same thing as you, ne! 】
Gou Liang, who was using the System to surf through this world’s network in order to search for information on how to hook Mr. Perfect, snapped out of his daze after hearing the System and looked towards the system monitor.
Shi Yu had left his desk and was talking to his mother who had walked into the study after knocking. A brown notebook was kept open on the desk and the screen displayed on the desktop computer was stopped at the search: #How to chase the guy you like#.
Gou Liang couldn’t help but smile.
After Mother Shi handed over the plate of fruit to Shi Yu, she reminded her son to sleep early and refrain from reading until late at night. Just as she was about to leave, Shi Yu asked her to stay: “Mom… how did Dad pursue you back then?”
“To be precise, it was me who pursued your Dad—ya, my good son, could it be?!”
Because Mother Shi was standing too close to the target, Gou Liang was unable to see her expression through the system monitor. But from her intensely flabbergasted and surprised voice, he could practically see her burning desire for gossip! Sure enough, Mother Shi immediately asked: “My son, you really have someone you like? What kind of person are they? Is it one of your classmates? Oh my god, oh my god!” In disbelief she went to share this news with her husband and her in-laws.
Shi Yu: “…”
Gou Liang: “Pfft.” Although he couldn’t see it, he could absolutely feel Shi Yu’s desire to turn back time to regain his peace and quiet.
Shi House, in the living room.
The four elders of the family sat together on a modular sofa. Grandpa and Grandma sat at the largest section while Mom and Dad sat to the left of them. Because the target was sitting on another couch, the four other members were not included in the target’s one meter radius blindspot. This time Gou Liang could clearly see the hard-to-conceal astonishment on their faces that were itching for gossip.
Father Shi said dramatically: “Not bad, ah, you little brat. I thought for sure with a stinky temper like yours, you would be single for the rest of your life, ne—ouch!”
Mother Shi ‘gently’ patted Father Shi’s thigh. She smiled at Shi Yu and said: “My good son, your Dad and I, as well your Grandpa and Grandma are all experienced in this area, not to mention that we’ve succeeded, so we have the right to give advice regarding this topic. If you have any questions you can ask us, ya, we will definitely help you trick—coax that person into our family!”
Grandpa Shi sighed in a dignified manner, his stern face was without a hint of a smile and carried a natural aura that made others want to subconsciously obey him.
He said: “My good grandson, ah. Do you like one of your classmates? Is that person of age yet? Grandpa has to make something clear first. Minors are not allowed to do any activities which involve going below the neck, do you understand?”
Shi Yu: “…”
Gou Liang: “Hahaha.”
Grandma Shi made a ‘pei’ noise at her husband before saying happily: “Don’t listen to your Grandpa’s nonsense. My good grandson, ah. What’s important is making sure that the young lady doesn’t run away. Is she pretty? If she’s a little bit worse than you that’s still fine, but if the difference is too big… Grandma has to prepare herself mentally first, ya.”
Shi Yu coughed: “The person is very cute, looks better than me.”
Upon hearing this, Grandma Shi was so delighted that flowers bloomed around her.
Following this, Shi Yu was bombarded with questions. He remained quiet without saying anything, but when they began to stray 108,000 miles away from the original topic to tease him, he finally couldn’t bear it any longer. He stood up and said: “If you don’t have any advice worth mentioning, then I’ll be heading back to my study. I’m busy.”
Mother Shi and Grandma Shi hurriedly rushed towards the monitor’s blindspot. They flanked Shi Yu left and right to stop him and began to discuss the details of their dating life back then in a lively manner. Father Shi and Grandpa Shi both refused to confess the embarrassing things that they had done in the past. At this moment, the Shi Family’s three generation Wife Chasing Discussion suddenly turned into a competitive debate. Gou Liang’s sides split from laughing as he watched. Silently, he lit a candle for Shi Yu who was at the center of this storm.
When Shi Yu finally managed to get away with much difficulty and once again returned to his study sitting down in front of his computer, Gou Liang stopped doing his own research.
【Gou Liang: After he finished writing, duplicate a set of his notes and give it to me. When I wake up tomorrow I want to see it ready. 】
【System: Yes, Master! (●’’●)】
The next day.
The notebook that the System had made using the duplication prop laid beside Gou Liang’s pillow quietly.
Opening up the notebook, the brush and strokes of the original owner were perfectly replicated by the duplication prop. Every stroke of the brush came together to form a silhouette. The brushstrokes and silhouettes were then meticulously painted with colors…
Unlike what Gou Liang had expected, what he saw wasn’t the familiar rigid and neat handwriting of a certain someone, instead it was a drawing.
With the last stroke completed, a complete picture unraveled before his eyes: A corner of Maple Forest, a long bench and a person. The person in the drawing was leisurely laying down on the bench. His left leg was slightly bent, his right hand rested above his stomach while his left hand covered his eyes. The corner of his mouth raised upward as if he was dreaming of something wonderful. The dimple that appeared on his right cheek was intoxicatingly alluring.
The warm sunshine peeked through the maples leaves, landing on his figure as if intertwined with the beauty of this moment.
Looking at the tenderly woven strokes, it made you think that the person who held the brush while drawing this had to have the same smile on their face as the person in the drawing.
Gou Liang was in a daze. The person in the drawing was none other than him.
But he didn’t know that in Shi Yu’s eyes, he was so brilliant and breathtaking.
【System looked at the frozen Gou Liang: …Master? 】
【Gou Liang: Hm, nothing. I was just thinking, the Shi Family members said that when the target was small, he would be sent to learn many different hobbies and skills but he would never learn them for long. Now it seems that with his IQ, mastering those things was just a piece of cake for him. 】
【System: Why did you suddenly thought of this?】
【Gou Liang abruptly let out a sigh, in a kind voice he said: It’s nothing new that you don’t understand.】
【System: stupefied.jpg】
Gou Liang smiled, his eyes wandering over the drawing for a moment before he flipped to the second page and began reading the official contents.
The headings were written like this ↓↓
【Guide to pursuing your partner】
1. Take the initiative to attack, grasp every chance for interaction and close contact √
- Figure out what they like.（Ex: Food, book recommendation, potted plants…）
- Give them preferential treatment, allow them to perceive that they are special to you…？
- Keep in touch with them and ensure good communication…√
- Flirt with them at every given chance, seduce them until their heart itches and develops feelings for you…?
- ……
Like this, Shi Yu wrote an entire ten pages.
There were a total of 23 guidelines and underneath each of them Shi Yu had attentively recorded down his ‘successful’ cases. Towards the guidelines he understood and could accomplish, he would check them like this √ . Towards the ones that he didn’t really understand, he would draw a big question mark next to it while analyzing and recording down the N number of possibilities of what it could mean.
Gou Liang smiled as he read, a strange feeling welling up inside him. He touched his dimples and the corner of his lips that had been kissed yesterday. Gou Liang looked outside of his french windows and smiled at the beautiful weather.
He was very curious, just what would Shi Yu do, ne?
