Debut or Die-Chapter 350
“On the flight back home, I immediately came to a stark realization.
‘When am I going to say it?’
There was no time.
This wasn’t tour season, when you could quietly carve out free time if you wanted; it was the very start of promotions, with schedules planned down to the minute.
‘There’s no way I can even go out right now.’
When, during this insane schedule, would there ever be a moment for Ah-hyun and me to sit down and talk alone?
But the answer came easily.
“I can use my room, right?”
“...!”
“I have a single room~ We’ll talk after schedule’s over, at night!”
Exactly.
It turned out the one guy with a single room at our lodging already knew the whole story. No need to find some other spot.
“Of course, Se-jin needs to sleep too~ If it goes long, I’ll use your room... Moon-dae Moon-dae? You listening?”
“Yeah, thanks.”
After settling a few timing adjustments on the plane, I decided that once we got back, I’d call Ah-hyun aside...
“I’ll hang around too. No matter how much you like hanging with friends, you have to set the mood and get ready for someone to really trust you~”
Fair enough.
Ah-hyun probably felt we weren’t sharing something important with him, so let’s leave the other party in the loop.
That day, straight from the airport to the commercial shoot, I spoke to Seon Ah-hyun.
“Ah-hyun.”
“Mm?”
“After this shoot, when we get back to the lodging, Se-jin and I want to talk with you at night...”
“Mm! Sure. Of course!”
“Oh, okay.”
He was very enthusiastic. The plan was set in an instant.
So that’s how the three of us—same age—ended up sitting on Se-jin’s single-room sofa.
“All right, everyone, make yourselves comfortable~”
“Ah, mm...!”
“.......”
I don’t know how this guy can sleep with a dozen character dolls lined up right at the bedside. Is his “give-a-damn” meter made of steel?
Anyway, I turned away from the doll heads and faced Ah-hyun.
He looked nervous, but even more than that, expectant.
‘His eyes are practically glowing.’
Well, it was a huge secret—I never expected to be out in the open talking about it like this until just last year.
“Hmm.”
I cleared my throat and began.
“First... I’m sorry if you’ve felt left out recently.”
“Ah, no! Of course, you don’t have to tell me everything... You’re all working hard...”
“...?”
Wait.
I glanced at Se-jin. A flash of surprise crossed his face too.
Meanwhile Ah-hyun blushed and kept talking.
“I, I haven’t really steered conversations well... I haven’t shown anything impressive work-wise... I thought I wasn’t someone you could easily share things with...”
“.......”
Damn.
Apparently Ah-hyun thought Se-jin and I were handling some grand, secret backstage tasks. And since he felt he wasn’t trustworthy enough, we hadn’t shared them with him.
I replayed his recent actions and stifled a groan.
‘So that’s why he was getting so proactive.’
Now the puzzle pieces fit.
‘Shit.’
It was tangled.
I forced my hand down from my forehead.
‘This is... my fault for being so buried in that secret.’
With incidents from Ryu Cheong-woo to Se-jin exploding around that secret, my mind had been locked on it. Of course he’d expect to hear about my secret if he wanted the real scoop.
“.......”
All right. Then... there’s no need to bring up my identity. He has no idea.
A bit of a harmless lie about label stuff or media issues would have sufficed; he’d move on.
‘...But is that really okay?’
I clenched my fist.
And then every time I managed the system without him, he’d feel even more deceived, right? If that’s the case, I shouldn’t have lied at all.
‘At that point, he’s got every right to call it deception.’
Better to say it’s just personal and can’t be shared—clean and simple. We’d clear up the misunderstanding. He might feel a bit hurt, but at least things would be sorted.
‘The problem is...’
I didn’t want that.
Weird as it sounds.
“.......”
Half on impulse, I spoke.
“It’s... not about work. I never thought you were bad at your job.”
“Mm?”
“It’s just my problem.”
I swallowed. Somehow I felt uplifted.
“I wasn’t originally Park Mundae, but I’ve been living as Park Mundae.”
“......??”
“So I couldn’t go broadcasting it around.”
“...Mm?”
Just as I’d explained things to Se-jin, I began telling Ah-hyun.
“One day a few years back, I woke up and it was someone else’s body.”
My tone was more composed than I felt—but...
‘...This really isn’t something to talk about sober.’
“So my eyes are kind of like a hologram...”
“Pffahaha!”
“...One more laugh and you’re out.”
“Huh? This is my room, Moon-dae shouldn’t—sorry. Those dolls are from fans, Moon-dae, please behave.”
I hit a few crisis points where I desperately needed a drink, but I managed the major line and got through it safely.
‘I’ll mention Gold II or Cheongryeo stuff later if needed.’
No need to overload him with too many hints. He had no clue to start.
I wrapped up, using a few clarifications from Se-jin’s prompts.
“...So now I’m just living well.”
“.......”
I’d finished, but there was no reaction.
I hurriedly spoke again.
“It’s such an unreal story, I couldn’t just blurt it out. And you half figured it out anyway.”
“True. I’m pretty perceptive~ Mundae didn’t want to tell, but I pieced it all together.”
“.......”
When I lifted my gaze, Ah-hyun’s face was blank.
He glanced at Se-jin and me a few times, then lowered his eyes.
“...I see.”
“Yeah.”
And silence followed.
“.......”
“.......”
Longer than I expected.
‘...Why?’
He didn’t even ask a question.
By the time a cold sweat formed on my neck, Ah-hyun spoke again.
But he wasn’t talking to me. He was talking to Se-jin.
“...Um, Se-jin, you already heard all this, right?”
“Yeah. It’s not old... less than a few months.”
“Oh, what did you think... at first, when you heard it?”
“Hmm?”
Se-jin shrugged.
“Mundae didn’t have any reason to lie about something like this, right?”
“...!”
“I know the Mundae I’ve seen... I just thought, ‘Oh, that makes sense.’”
“.......”
At Se-jin’s words, Ah-hyun bowed his head again.
‘What’s he thinking?’
Why didn’t he ask me about the details? Though it was pretty shocking...
I bit my tongue.
‘Stop the needless guessing.’
He might naturally wonder how Se-jin reacted. Still...
I opened and closed my hands a few times, then spoke.
“If you don’t believe me...”
But the sentence never finished—Ah-hyun answered first.
“No, I believe you.”
“...!”
He raised his head, offering a pale, slightly shaken smile.
“Yeah... I know you wouldn’t lie about something like this, Mundae.”
“Y-You must have had a hard time... Mundae. You’ve been through so much.”
I was suddenly at a loss for words. After a few swallows, I managed a calm reply.
“That’s why you make good money and do well. That’s what matters.”
“Mm....”
Ah-hyun answered quietly.
“But... if it ever gets tough, talk to us.”
“You must feel so secure... you’ve got two backups~ Oh, and Cheong-woo hyung knows too.”
“...Cheong-woo hyung...?”
“Ah, he’s got some family stuff going on, I heard...”
I watched Se-jin explain while Ah-hyun listened intently. Concentration returned to his face.
“.......”
All right... this went pretty well.
Se-jin finished with a joke.
“Since Ajusa, we’ve only got two same-agers who know everything about Mundae—me and you~ Do your best, Mundae.”
I couldn’t help laughing. After a moment, I held out my hand to Ah-hyun.
“All right. Thanks in advance, Ah-hyun.”
He took my hand with a slight tremble. It felt a bit cold, but firm.
“...Mm!”
When he answered, I saw joy in his eyes. That was enough.
The next day, Ah-hyun’s attitude didn’t change, and I... felt somewhat relieved.
A few days later, a somewhat unusual schedule popped up.
“Hmm, tomorrow’s the day we go to Yeonhui University.”
“Oh!”
It was a university festival schedule, returning after nearly two years. Last year, our fees had skyrocketed, but since debut we’d always done at least one.
As Ajusa alumni with a successful debut track, we’d reached a level of general popularity that ordinary students could enjoy.
University festival performances were always fun and well-received.
“Oh~ It’s been a while. Sounds fun!”
“Yeah. That’s the outdoor stage?”
And so the conversation began—within minutes we were even talking about the university itself. That’s what happens in a car conversation.
“...If I ever get the chance, I’d like to audit some classes.”
“I wouldn’t regret taking cyber university to balance work, but I’m curious about other options too.”
Cha Yoo-jin shrugged.
“I had a scholarship, but I came to Korea for this. That’s pretty amazing!”
“Wow.”
“That’s really great.”
No one could argue; Kim Rae-bin nodded too.
“Why’d you do that?”
“Hm, dance is fun? [You know, I just wanted to.]”
And because he’d done so well, it was hard to criticize him for turning down a scholarship. As someone who’d kept a scholarship and funded living off data sales, only to end up in an unrelated field myself...
“Hyung! Hyung, did you ever think about college?”
“Not particularly.”
I definitely didn’t want to go twice.
That thought made me recall something—maybe for the first time I would have to go as an active-duty soldier—but I let it go.
‘Whew....’
I envied the gold medalist and the foreigner.
“OK~ Let’s just tour the campus! We can sneak around!”
“If there’s time.”
Despite Yoo-jin’s absurd suggestion, I checked the university festival entry in the schedule with a strange feeling.
There was only one reason.
“Moon-dae Moon-dae, this is where you graduated, right?”
“...Yeah.”
When Yoo-jin in the back stopped tapping my shoulder, Se-jin leaned over and whispered:
“That’s the university you attended.”
Indeed, this was where I’d gone.
‘Is it my first time back?’
I’d never needed to go. Our company usually just booked the closest festivals with big fees first come, first served.
But this time, this school apparently offered the biggest, fastest pay.
‘They actually spend all that registration money.’
Rich kids always hike tuition every year, then...
I raised my eyebrow and scrolled past. Se-jin, wedged next to me, whispered to Ah-hyun on the other side.
“Ah-hyun, this is the university where Mundae studied.”
“...I–I see.”
Ah-hyun cautiously asked me:
“How do you... feel about that?”
“...Well, it’s just whatever.”
I chuckled.
“I graduated so long ago, they’ve even remodeled the campus—honestly no big deal.”
Se-jin chuckled.
“Got it, big bro.”
“....”
Knock it off, will you?
“Pffahah...”
I heard Se-jin stifle laughter, and I stifled a sigh. Ah-hyun gave an awkward smile.
‘Well... as long as the performance goes well.’
It was our first domestic festival in a while. I cracked my neck.
We were booked as the ending act.
If time allowed, we could probably do three or four encores.
‘I doubt ★ 𝐍𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐥𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭 ★ there’ll be time for all that.’
But as always, things never go exactly as planned.
