Captured By The Cold Detective (BL)-Chapter 506: You’re Lying!
The news of Marius Morningstar’s accident finally reached Sirius’ ears in Canada, despite He Juan’s attempt to suppress it.
Upon hearing that simple question, He Juan could feel a crack forming in his heart and his composed façade came crashing down, giving way to the surge of anxiety, fear, grief and sorrow. He tried to speak, but a heavy lump seemed to have lodged itself in his throat. His lips quivered with the sheer amount of guilt that weighed down on him.
Sirius must have sensed something from his silence because his expression twisted for a bit. But then he tried to force a smile and asked again, "XIU, where is he? It’s not right, isn’t it? He... he always has his own agenda. There was this one time he faked his own death just to pull out some traitors in the Morningstar Clan..."
Oh God, the Morningstar Clan...
Sirius was still babbling as though trying to come up with the most reasonable explanation for his brother’s disappearance, but all of those words were lost to He Juan because he had just remembered an extremely important fact. Marius was the leader of the Morningstar Clan, a behemoth mafia clan in Canada, and Sirius was his one and only successor. If Marius was truly gone, it meant that, by default, Sirius was supposed to assume his position, but... how could he? He was just eleven years old, for God’s sake! How could he contend with those people who were eyeing his position? How could he control the cunning and merciless members of the clan?
How could he protect his own life in the face of danger from all directions?
Marius’ absence not only signaled a major shift and imbalance in power. But most importantly, it meant that Sirius had lost the roof that kept him safe and protected all of these years.
He had lost his protective shield. The sole anchor for his stable life.
How... How would the eleven-year-old Sirius live from now on?
Tell Sirius that I’m sorry.
It was not until now that He Juan felt he could understand what Marius meant by those words. Because without him, Sirius’ life was going to be turned upside down. From now on, his peaceful routine would be destroyed, and he would walk through the thorny and treacherous path which Marius had tried so hard to prepare him for.
At the tender age of eleven.
Too young. He was still far too young.
He Juan felt like an invisible hand had torn his heart to shreds, the agonizing pain searing all over his body, and the words tumbled out of his lips without him being able to hold it back. "...I’m sorry."
"...chaotic but hey he ended up returning after— what?" Sirius braked mid-sentence and took a double check, his tone faltering. "W–What did you just say?"
He Juan swallowed hard, unable to bring himself to meet those eyes which bore a striking resemblance to Marius. "I’m sorry."
Sirius’ smile quickly faded from his face, though he still forced out a laughter. "Haha, you... you’re joking with me, right? How could that annoying guy... how could he..."
He Juan, however, could offer nothing except for, "I’m sorry." It was a hollow and desolate sound that escaped from the deepest chambers of his heart, and he could no longer tell whether he was delivering Marius’ last words or his own apology.
He agonized over countless ’what ifs’. If only... if only he had been more attentive that night, if only he had noticed something amiss with that traitor, could he have prevented the chain of events that followed? Would Marius still be beside him, joking and having afternoon tea with him?
Sirius finally couldn’t hold back his temper anymore. "Don’t joke around with me!" He hollered. Rushing forward, he grabbed He Juan by the sleeve and tried to catch his eyes. "Tell me. Everything’s a joke, right? You two have been planning it behind my back, haven’t you? Come on. Tell me the truth, XIU!"
He Juan turned his head away and closed his eyes, letting out a shaky exhale. Tears burned on the corner of his eyes, and his throat became constricted as if it had caught on fire. Even then, he still forced himself to say, "I’m sorry, Sirius... I’m sorry..."
As if those words could ever change anything. As if they could absolve him of the crushing guilt and sorrow that threatened to engulf him whole.
Sirius’ gaze fell upon his tightly clenched fist, where the familiar beads of Marius’ bracelet peeked through his fingers. That very sight was akin to a bolt of lightning that struck him right on the head, causing him to stagger backward. "Ha... haha..." he laughed, though his blue eyes welled up with tears. "I–I can’t believe this. How could he... impossible, you must be hiding him from me, right? I–I will not skip my lessons anymore. I will obediently stay where he tells me to, so..." he raised his gaze to He Juan, droplets of tears trailing down his cheeks. "Can you return him to me? Can you—"
His voice cracked, and a sob escaped his lips. After that, his cries came tumbling down like a bursting dam, each sound akin to serrated blade that grinded He Juan’s heart bit by bit right where it was the most vulnerable, and he couldn’t help but sink into his knees and take the trembling boy into his arms.
"I’m sorry..." he choked out, his eyes so red they seemed ready to bleed. "Please, don’t cry. I’m so sorry..."
But Sirius wailed even louder, his tears soaking into the fabric of He Juan’s shirt. And oh, how heavy was his grief, how heavy was his sorrow, for he was losing his one and only family member. His protector. His entire world.
"YOU’RE LYING!" His anguished cries reverberated relentlessly amidst the churning waves. He grabbed He Juan’s collar and shook him, pleading and begging for his brother’s return. "He must still be alive! He must be! You’re lying to me, right, XIU? I beg you... give Marius back... give him back, please. GIVE MY BROTHER BACK TO ME—!"
Those teary blue eyes bore into him, brimming with grief and resentment, and He Juan found himself unable to breathe. He felt as though he had been transported back to the funeral parlor, and the one who was standing before him was He Xie, demanding him to return Xia Weisheng to him. His pupils shook, his complexion blanched, his airways constricted. It was as if his inner organs were rapidly withering one by one, dying from the inside out. And nothing he did could prevent it from happening.
Sensing that the situation was amiss, Jia Molei rushed forward to intervene, "Damn it, Little Guo! It’s not XIU’s fault that—"
"SHUT UP!" Sirius snapped at him, his teeth gnashing together. "Shut up, shut up, shut up! You have no right to call me by that name!" He resembled a fierce cub baring its teeth to the world, knowing that it had lost the protection of its mother. Something within him seemed to shatter in that very moment, the light in his eyes forever dimming. Gone was the cheerful and positive boy he once was, for he was now consumed by the grievance and hatred.
"Sirius..." He Juan attempted to reach out to him, but his hand was swiftly slapped away. Sirius’ glare shifted to him, though it seemed to waver once he caught sight of how ashen He Juan’s complexion had become. He flinched as if scalded, then without a warning, he turned and ran away!
Jia Molei shouted, "Sirius!" Turning to He Juan, he spat out a curse under his breath. "Damn it, I will chase after him! You—"
"It’s okay," He Juan rasped as he rose to his feet, blinking away the dampness in his eyes. His quiet voice betrayed nothing of the turmoil he was feeling within. "You should go after him. Don’t let him get into an accident. He must not be willing to see me right now. Give this to him. It... belongs to his brother." He presented the bracelet to Jia Molei, the tips of his fingers trembling ever so slightly.
Jia Molei hesitated as if he wanted to say something, but in the end he only let out a low ’fuck’, accepted the bracelet, and hurried after the direction Sirius had fled.
He Juan gazed after them from afar, his eyes and heart desolate. He did not avert his eyes until they fully disappeared from sight.
Little did he know, this would be the last time he’d ever see Sirius.
. 𝒻𝘳ℯℯ𝑤ℯ𝒷𝘯ℴ𝓋ℯ𝘭.𝑐ℴ𝑚
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A/N: The next time they meet again, it will be seven years later. And the first words He Juan utters to him are, "Who are you?"
He lost not only one brother, but two QAQ
(For double the angst, feel free to go back and re-read from ch 145 onwards and omg HJ even pointed a gun at him *cry*)
