Captured By The Cold Detective (BL)-Chapter 175: How About A Song?
Mu Yuze’s pupils trembled. It was as if someone had driven a sharp dagger through his heart and twisted it viciously.
The pain was abrupt, searing and hot. It made him unable to breathe for a second. Without even thinking, he moved to wrap his arms around He Juan – no, in their current position it was more like he was draping himself over He Juan’s back. But it was nearly the same. He really, really wanted to smother this silly man into a tight hug and become the glue that kept him together.
"Then, I won’t," he tried to say in the firmest tone he could muster. "I won’t use my pheromones so... don’t worry, Gege."
He Juan could not breathe properly with his nose buried in the hospital gown Mu Yuze was wearing. However, he did not have the slightest intention to move away. In such a position, he could perceive each shaky inhale Mu Yuze was taking and his loud thundering heartbeat. He could also feel Mu Yuze’s hand drawing circles on his shoulder blades, light and fleeting. It was soothing... so comforting that he felt his agitation melting away like a block of butter on a heated pan, sizzling into a poof of smoke and vanishing without a trace.
He could clearly tell that the omega was feeling distressed for him. Clearly, he had not learned from experience at all. Even though He Juan had hurt him to this extent, he still wanted to overexert his gland and use his pheromones to calm him down. Such a sweet and soft little guy he was...
Mu Yuze, Mu Yuze... the omega’s name reverberated in his head, again and again, as if it was branding itself to the deepest recess of his soul at the moment. He Juan could not put into words what he was feeling right now. He only felt as if his heart was stuffed with something warm, stinging yet bittersweet at the same time. It was filled to the brim and overflowed to every inch of his body. He blinked, thinking that he was crying, but surprisingly, his eyes were dry. So dry to the point of being painful.
Just how the hell did such an amazing omega end up with someone like... him? Someone so scatter-brained, stupid and useless, someone who could not even take care of himself?
Unaware of the wayward thoughts in He Juan’s mind, Mu Yuze discreetly heaved a sigh of relief when he sensed that He Juan was calming down from his agitated state. A sense of accomplishment surged in his heart every time he managed to bring this person a peace of mind.
Alas, they could not go on like this. He Juan needed a lot of rest, but at his current state...
He thought for a moment, then offered tentatively, "Juan-gege, how about... I sing a song to you?"
He Juan eased back to stare at him, a gleam of amusement and anticipation surfaced within his exhausted eyes. "You’re going to sing me a lullaby?"
"Not quite a lullaby..." Mu Yuze rubbed his nose, feeling sheepish for some inexplicable reason. "It was something that I heard when I was young."
To be exact, it was something that He Juan had sung to him ten years ago, when he was just a prickly and overbearing brat.
Back then, his father had just died and even though it meant a new lease of life for him, the psychological trauma that a fourteen years old ’ex-convict’ had to shoulder was not light. Everyday, he would see his father shouting and crying at him in his dream for being unfilial and for leaving him all alone in the underworld. And then, he would always be startled awake with cold sweat all over his body. He hated his bastard father for not letting him go even when his body already turned into ashes. Unwilling to see that despicable figure, he forced himself to stay awake until the crack of dawn and developed severe insomnia as a result.
Alas, it was too shameful to say that he did not dare to sleep due to nightmares. In order to hide this fact from He Juan, he had obediently climbed into the bed and pulled the blanket over his head, staying dazedly amid the dark for hours every single day. Thinking nothing, feeling nothing, seeing nothing.
Until now, he still had no idea how He Juan discovered it. One day, the Alpha soundlessly slipped into his bedroom, his footsteps light and quiet like a ghost, then without a warning, he yanked Mu Yuze’s blanket down, revealing the thin and scrawny teenager with his dark eyes wide open without the slightest hint of drowsiness.
"Can’t sleep?" It was in the middle of the night, but He Juan was still wearing a suit with his tie knotted in place, looking so proper and dignified as if he was only dropping by Mu Yuze’s room before heading to work. However, Mu Yuze knew that this was how the Alpha always was. It had been more than a week since he started living here, and he had not seen He Juan wear anything other than suits.
At that moment, he had taken off his suit jacket and his sleeves were rolled up to his elbows, revealing a pair of firm and muscular arms. Under the faint yellow glow from the bedside lamp, his skin looked golden as if coated by a layer of halo. Half of his sharp features were casted under the shadows, decreasing the level of aggression it brought forth. It made him look... warmer. Gentler. More approachable.
It was so strange. Clearly, this person always had an amicable smile on his face, yet for some inexplicable reason, Mu Yuze got the impression that he was a very cold and indifferent man.
Fourteen-years-old Mu Yuze was still feeling apprehensive toward this ’benefactor’ of his, and his stubborn temperament did not allow him to expose even the slightest hint of weakness. As such, he pursed his lips tight and retorted stiffly, "I was just going to sleep when you come in."
"Ah, is that so?" He Juan chuckled. "It’s my fault to disturb your sleep, then. How about this? I will sing a song to you as a compensation?"
Do I have any other choice? It’s not like I can refuse and kick you out of this room, Mu Yuze grumbled inwardly.
He could only swallow the complaints back to his belly and obediently stayed under the cover. He did not dare to stare at the man for long and could only lower his lashes and focus on the buttons of his expensive shirt instead. As long as Mu Yuze could remember, he’d never had anyone sing to him before. He did not have any memory of his mother, and his father... well, it was better not to think about him lest it brought up many unpleasant memories.
As such, he listened to He Juan sing with a tinge of curiosity. It was a song he had never heard before, nor could it evoke any particular feelings in his heart. Yet much to his surprise, he ended up falling asleep without even noticing.
He had forgotten when was the last time he had such a deep sleep. 𝑓𝓇𝘦ℯ𝘸𝘦𝑏𝓃𝑜𝘷ℯ𝑙.𝑐𝑜𝓂
As if He Juan had imbued secret magic to his voice, from then on, Mu Yuze never dreamed of his father anymore.
Ten years had gone by in a blink of an eye, and Mu Yuze had become a twenty-four-years adult. Now he understood the reason why He Juan had chuckled back then. He must have discovered how lousy Mu Yuze’s lie was. Rather than exposing him, He Juan ended up searching for a roundabout way to comfort him and spare him from the humiliation. That was just how he was. Kind, thoughtful and considerate.
Back then, he had not thought too much about it and had immediately put that strange night to the back of his mind. Yet unexpectedly after He Juan disappeared without a trace, it became one of the fondest memories he often visited when he lay awake on his bed, when sleep eluded him like a plague.
Until now, the more he recalled it, the more vivid it became. He could even remember the way He Juan had muffled his laugh with a cough when he first started to sing, as if he was amused at himself for expending colossal effort to coax this pain-in-the-ass kiddo to sleep.
.
Something he heard when he was young? He Juan’s memory was still a jumbled mess, so he thought that it was the song Mu Yuze’s parents had once sung for him. Unable to hold his curiosity back, he told Mu Yuze, "I want to listen..."
"Okay." Mu Yuze lay down on the bed. This time, he did not drill into He Juan’s arms but cradled He Juan’s head to his bosom instead. He kept his fingers tangled in He Juan’s hair, and whilst stroking his head, he cleared his throat and started to sing,
I am wandering, always wandering
The world is vast, and the sky is clear blue
Yet I walk alone on this lone bridge
Searching for the light that can guide me home
Mu Yuze hummed the song softly, exactly like how He Juan used to sing to him ten years ago. But compared to He Juan’s deep and baritone voice, his voice was light and tilting, like a little stone skipping across the surface of a calm lake and creating faint ripples of emotions.
He Juan’s lashes quivered, and under Mu Yuze’s tilting voice and the gentle strokes on his hair, it did not take long for him to drift off to sleep. Before his consciousness completely faded away, a question suddenly flashed through his mind before it was swiftly drowned by a surge of drowsiness.
Where have I heard this song before...
