(BL) Hunting The Field Guide-Chapter 448: A strong man crumbles

He woke up when strong, warm arms wrapped around him, pulling him up and into the lap of another man. Kellen didn’t need to guess who it was, and threw his arms around the other man, burying his head in his shoulder.

"No news." Rhys whispered, his voice broken. Kellen just nodded, knowing that Rhys was there, here with him. Telling him that he was keeping an eye on this while Kellen crumbled. "Pamela’s gone. Left an hour after Sakura had gotten everything to her. Lieutenant Fisher sent his own people as well. Everyone’s going. They’re going to make sure everyone is alright. We’ll find out who’s missing." Rhys promised and Kellen swallowed.

"Morrison didn’t mention Brent." Kellen whispered, broken and Rhys let out a shaky breath.

"I know babe, I know. We’ll find him. He’s Brent. There’s no way he’s..." Rhys wouldn’t even say it, and Kellen appreciated that. "He’s fine." Rhys promised and Kellen just nodded. "What do you need, Kellen? What can I do for you right now?" Rhys asked. Kellen swallowed.

"I want a bath. With you." Kellen told him and Rhys nodded. He didn’t hesitate to pick him up, carrying the man upstairs. Rhys kept him with him as he turned on the taps in the tub, filling it up. Once that was done, he took Kellen to the bedroom, placing him gently on the bed and undressing him.

His way of caring for him, stripping him bare of his clothes felt like he was stripping away all of his boundaries as well. Kellen felt his throat tighten, his body shaking. He felt weak. Rhys’ gaze alone kept him strong.

The man wasn’t looking at him with pity. He was just looking at him with worry and understanding. There was a strength in Rhys’ eyes that kept Kellen together. Stable. Rhys stripped as well, tossing all of their clothes into the dirty hamper before he picked Kellen up again and gently placed him in the water. He added salts, bubbles, anything he thought would help before he too got into the water. Behind Kellen, and pulled the other man against him.

They sat there, Rhys waving a hand to turn off the tub before the water overflowed and Kellen just sat. His body against Rhys’, so tense he felt like a muscle might snap.

It took ten minutes before his shoulders relaxed.

"Why is this happening now?" Kellen asked finally. "Everything finally felt like it was falling into place." Kellen whispered. "It’s Gwen’s first fucking time on the front lines. Why now?" Kellen’s throat was thick with grief. Rhys wrapped his arm around his shoulders, pulling him against his back.

"I...don’t have an answer for that. I don’t...there wouldn’t ever be a good time for this to happen." Rhys whispered. "I...I will do everything I can." Rhys promised, but Kellen knew it wasn’t just up to him.

Kellen was the one who told him to give up rights to the gate. To the D.E.C.

This was now going to bite him in the ass. Kellen could feel it. Since they didn’t have rights to the gate, it meant that there was a chance people could drag their feet. Not the Espers. Never the Espers.

It would be the big fat fuckers who had never risked a day in their life on the front lines who were going to make this hard. Make this terrible for everyone involved.

"She’s resourceful." Kellen said. "They all are." Kellen didn’t know what he was saying, why he was saying it. Rhys squeezed him.

"She is. She’s got you as a big brother, and she was raised in the lap of one of the best Esper’s this city has ever seen." Rhys said softly. "She’s strong." But he wasn’t going to promise that she was going to get through this.

Kellen hung his head.

He couldn’t even get mad at Rhys. Kellen knew better, but he just couldn’t do it.

"Have discussions started about who is going to help?" Kellen asked quietly and Rhys sighed.

"We’ve started, but they want to hold off until Pamela gets there and gets the equipment set up again." Kellen’s jaw clenched tightly.

"Mom might visit them all while they’re sleeping." Kellen muttered and Rhys chuckled.

"And I think Charlie would agree to that too." Rhys commented. Kellen wasn’t so sure, but then again, Charlie was gaining his spunk back, and gaining a backbone.

He had also grown close to Gwen as well.

"You’ll look the other way?" Kellen asked, tilting his head back to meet Rhys’ gaze. Rhys’ eyes were warm, even if the stress from the situation was etched into his face.

"Look the other way for what?" He asked, tilting his head to the side. Kellen sighed, leaning his head back against his shoulder.

"I can’t imagine this without you here." Kellen admitted. "While I don’t agree with how this all started sometimes, I’m glad we ended up here." Rhys’ hand slid down under the water, laying loosely against Kellen’s stomach under the water. It wasn’t a sign of anything sexual to come, just...comfort.

"I wouldn’t be anywhere else but here. By your side. You’re my family, and by extension, so is your family. I have people looking out for them even now. I’ve called my other S Classes again, telling them what’s happened. I’ve even...tried to reach out to Gunther. Let him know what is happening." Rhys told him. Kellen sucked in.

"Did he get back to you?" Kellen asked and Rhys’ hand flexed on Kellen’s stomach.

"No. I haven’t heard anything back yet." He said quietly. "I’m sure I will." But he didn’t sound convinced. Kellen didn’t even know what to say. This was...there were so many things happening right now that Kellen couldn’t keep his head on straight.

"I have to be there." Kellen finally said. "I need to." It was soft. A plea. A declaration of intent.

Rhys stiffened immediately.

"Kellen...Can we please talk about this later? Not right now? Can this wait until after Pamela gets there?" Rhys wasn’t brushing him off. He wasn’t. But it was then that Kellen realised how delicate, how hard this had to be for Rhys as well.

Kellen had blood related family members that were involved with this. But Rhys had an adoptive family that were involved with this.

Kellen shifted, turning clumsily in the bath to face Rhys. He reached for Rhys’ face, his eyes already watering as he cupped his cheek.

"I’m sorry. I’ve been so selfish. I didn’t consider your condition." Kellen whispered and that was what broke Rhys. He closed his eyes slowly, his throat working, and Kellen felt his heart shatter as the first tears began to run down his face.

Kellen leaned in, pressing his forehead against Rhys’ as the other man reached up, holding onto Kellen’s wrist like a life line as he body shook, trembled.

"I’m sorry." Kellen whispered again. He knew that Rhys would feel this. Every person lost, every missing person as a blow. Kellen would try to have the same attachment, would have the same attachment to several of them, but he wouldn’t feel it as deeply as Rhys.

There wasn’t a possibility that he could.

He wasn’t an S Class. That barrier hadn’t been broken. He also had never not had a supportive family. There were some things, some battles he would never be able to empathize with completely.

Rhys’ body shook as he sobbed, the water sloshing about in the tub as the man who had held everyone together, including Kellen, cried for his people, his family while he didn’t even know who was missing yet.

Kellen just held him, his own tears, his own sobs filling the air as the men grieved for people they didn’t even have names for yet.

~

It took a long time for them to calm down enough to get out of the now cold tub, wrapped up in towels, dried off, and then ready for bed. Rhys set about making sure they had their uniforms nearby so that they could get ready quickly.

In case of an emergency.

Kellen did the same thing. He did a check on his Field Guide uniform, his equipment, all of the things that he would need if he was going to go into a gate. Rhys said nothing about his check, but Kellen knew he saw it.

He was sure that the other man knew what he was doing, but he said nothing. He just held his arms open for Kellen when he crawled into bed, holding onto the other man tightly as they laid together.

Kellen was sure that they were both thinking about what tomorrow would bring, but neither one of them wanted to speak it into existence. Kellen sighed, tucking his face into the chest of the man that he loved, that he wanted to spend the rest of his life with.

Kellen just hoped it wasn’t going to end so shortly.

Kellen closed his eyes, sighing softly as he begged sleep to take him. Even a little bit. He needed to get as much sleep as he could. Each hour was important, especially while they were waiting for news. He knew Pamela was trying to get there as fast as she could, but there was only so much she could do.

She wasn’t that kind of Esper, and she had a lot of people and products that she was bringing. Kellen just needed to be patient. So, sleep. He could do it. He’d slept like this for years. He’d just gotten too soft while being here, but Kellen wouldn’t forget his roots.

He wouldn’t let himself.

The source of this c𝐨ntent is fre𝒆w(e)bn(o)vel