(BL) Hunting The Field Guide-Chapter 447: Don’t look at me like that

Kellen thought his heart was going to punch out through his throat. They had contact? Who? Who did they have contact with?

"Who?" Sakura echoed Kellen’s thoughts out loud as the girl who had a phone up to her ear listened.

"It’s...Esper Morrison! He was able to jerry rig something together to get a signal out. Front lines are a mess. Any help, medical, electrical, food supplies that anyone can spare is appreciated. Sergei is alive. Hill is alive. Green is alive. Lieutenant Spencer is alive. Lieutenant Howard is alive. They haven’t been able to do a proper head count yet on the missing." It was a bitter feeling. It was good to hear that some people he cared about were safe.

But Brent’s name hadn’t been included in the higher ups that were safe and near the area.

Rhys tightened his arm on Kellen’s waist, holding him up as Kellen’s legs collapsed under him. Kellen clung to the stiff shoulders of his jacket as another blow was dealt to him.

"Anything else?" Rhys asked but it seemed that she was listening intently.

"Line’s going to fail soon. Sergei is almost burnt out. Need Guides ASAP." Kellen’s blood went cold. How much power had the S Class had to fucking use if that was the case? Kellen glanced at Casper, and noticed how Casper looked tense, ill.

"We have some we can spare." Casper said, his voice raspy, tired and the girl told him that.

"He says that the sooner, the better." There was a pause, before she lowered the phone, swallowing. "He’s...gone." She said quietly and now they all had some more to chew on.

"I’ll go." Pamela’s voice filled the air and Kellen jerked. He looked back at the woman, her braided hair swishing as she stood. "None of you are in any state to be travelling, and I feel useless here. At least out there I can help calm the others. I make the most sense." She said calmly, as if she hadn’t said she never wanted to step foot out there, ever.

"Pamela, you don’t have to." Kellen said and she sniffed.

"What? Do you think you’re in any state to be going anywhere? Absolutely not. You were just at a fucking funeral, Kellen. I’ll go. Send over what you want to send, Captain Sakura, and I’ll make sure it gets there." Pamela said. "You know how to contact me." She rushed out of the room like a bat out of hell while Kellen stood there, a little shocked. He was pretty sure that was the first time that she had called him by his name.

"Were you just at a funeral?" It was Sakura’s voice. Tentative. Heavy with concern. Kellen sighed, running a hand over his face.

"Yes. For one of-for one of my aunts." Kellen said, hesitating for a moment before committing to it. He was sure that his Aunt Dina would want him to refer to her that way. Kellen looked up at the screen, finally seeing the horror that was on not just Sakura’s, but Lieutenant Fisher’s face. Kellen felt his heart jerk as Sakura covered her face. He could feel it.

The pity. The sadness.

Kellen tightened his jaw.

"I’m so sorry Kellen. How did-"

"-The E.A.G. killed her." Kellen told Sakura, his voice flat. Lieutenant Fisher closed his eyes, sighing heavily as he rubbed the bridge of his nose.

"Those damn fuckers." He muttered, but Kellen wasn’t going to let them do this. No one was dead yet, except for the fuckers who had tried to hurt his front lines. Those were the only confirmed deaths in the last few days.

Kellen was going to do his best to make sure that was it.

After all, Brent couldn’t be dead. There was no fucking way. He was just missing. Brent would show up, poking his head out of some rubble and laugh. That was what Kellen knew for sure was going to happen. He had seen Gwen get sucked in, that was a completely different story.

He hadn’t seen Brent at all.

"I need...I need to go do something. I...." Kellen trailed off. He couldn’t be here any longer. He just needed to be...somewhere else. Rhys gave him a squeeze, pressing his lips against his forehead.

"Understood, sugar. You go. I’ll have Casper send a mess email to your students. No doubt they have noticed something is up. With the alarm still blaring, they won’t be surprised." Rhys told him carefully, and Kellen nodded.

"Where are you going, Kellen?" Casper asked, glancing up from his phone.

"I need to go work out." Kellen hadn’t made a decision on where he was going until he opened his mouth. Once he had, it made the most sense. He needed a distraction, and Rhys was too busy, too damn important for him to take up any more of his time. He wasn’t helpful here right now. He could feel it.

The argument was brewing under the surface. His desire to book it and run to the front lines. He was sure that Rhys could feel it too. He was sure everyone could feel it. It was probably the reason why Rhys was being so accommodating and sending him on his way, but that didn’t mean that the argument wasn’t going to happen. He was just pushing it back to a time where they had more privacy.

"Stay safe. Don’t push yourself too hard." Rhys warned. "You don’t want to pull anything." Rhys tried to sound light, cheerful. Kellen just nodded, turning and pausing as he was almost out of Rhys’ hold. He stared at him for a moment, taking in Rhys in his uniform, how his hair was still perfect.

How he was still whole.

Then, he turned, letting go of the last bit of Rhys that was holding him and headed for the gym that was just one floor above. No one said anything to him as he left. That was probably for the best, since Kellen still felt like a mess inside. He was hoping that burning some calories would help.

~

Kellen was dripping sweat, but he wasn’t able to find relief. He wasn’t sure how many times he’d gone through his ’normal’ workout, but while his muscles burned, ached actually, he wasn’t able to feel any sense of comfort.

It was a devastating blow to someone who normally found relief from moving his body.

It was shortly after he had stepped into the elevator that the alarm that had gone up had turned off. At this point, if someone hadn’t been informed that something terrible had happened on the front lines, they clearly didn’t work with Espers and Guides. At that point, it was probably best if they didn’t know.

Kellen could feel the stares now.

The pity. The sorrow.

Like people were already considering those who had been sucked into the gates as dead. That Gwen was dead.

Kellen’s gut churned even thinking those damn, cursed words. There was no way that had fucking happened. She had barely even started her career as an Esper, there was no fucking way Kellen was going to believe that it had been cut off so soon.

She was a Woods. She was his younger sister. She wouldn’t just throw in the towel that quickly.

Needless to say, Kellen had only been full of emotions, all bitter and angry and sad. He hadn’t been able to work any of them out and instead had only given himself over as food for them to eat. To consume. What he had wanted to do had bounced back and he’d had the exact opposite effect.

Kellen tossed the weights that he’d been lifting to the ground, letting out a frustrated shout. He knew this was out of character for him, but fuck public image for a damn minute.

He knew nothing. He’d seen nothing. All he’d had was a damn awful feeling in his gut, and that was it. If this was how Rhys felt even a quarter of the time, it was no wonder that so many who shared his powers killed themselves. The guilt?

It was torturous.

Kellen wanted to bend at the waist and just wail. Scream. Shout. Yell about how unfair all of this was. Why the fuck this was even happening.

He hadn’t really considered how unfair this whole thing was. Not without others pointing it out to him. Why did they, as a race, have to suffer this much? Why had the gates shown up? Why did they demand so much from them?

Kellen hadn’t considered that on his own. He hadn’t needed to consider it on his own. Now, they were forcing his hands.

They kept on taking and taking. This was the worst fucking timing imaginable. If they hadn’t had the powers that they did, there was the chance that he and Rhys could have been happy together years ago. His parents wouldn’t have suffered, and Gwen-

Kellen huffed. Closing his eyes.

"I’ll clean up." It was a soft voice, and when Kellen turned, it was one of the Espers that he often saw in here. One of the older ones, who was friends with Esper Blake. His expression was tight, and unlike the others, his eyes weren’t pitying.

Kellen winced, frowning. He should clean up after himself. It was the right-

"I mean it, Guide Woods. I’ve got this. You should go back to your apartment. Have some tea or something. If you keep pushing yourself like this, I am going to call the Medical Bay. They have their hands full right now." He warned and it was a rather serious threat. Kellen frowned further, but backed off.

"Alright. I guess I’ll leave it in your hands." Kellen told him and the Esper smiled.

"Perfect. I’ll see you tomorrow morning, Guide Woods." He said, sounding cheerful, but it also felt like a promise and a threat all wrapped up in one. Kellen scoffed, and left the gym. He found himself chuckling about the whole interaction while he was in the elevator going up to his place.

That was one way to treat Guides. He must be close to a few if he was able to use the Medical Bay so easily as a threat. Most Espers didn’t know that was a Guide’s bane of their existence. Most Guides hated going there.

Kellen found himself smiling, chuckling to himself as he opened the door to his apartment. It almost felt like a dream, something silly until he spotted all of the little trinkets that Gwen had given him over the years. It hit him like a wave all over.

Kellen kicked off his shoes only because it was a habit before he headed for the couch and the sobs began to shake his body. He’d barely made it into the fetal position before the sounds were tearing out of him. He sounded...He sounded like his Dad.

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