[BL] Debut in Interstellar After Retiring as Grim Reaper-Chapter 275 - 273: Messages (3)

"I've heard about what happened." This time, Nan Moyi was inside the room for a private goodbye conversation.

"I actually want to thank you for not allowing her to join." Nan Moyi's face flashed with worry. "I know how important this is for the whole world and knowing Xingxing, she would surely offer help. I'm proud of her growing up… but not this way."

He chuckles bitterly. "Maybe because I'm just paranoid. But I really don't want Xingxing to carry such huge responsibilities now. She's still a child and no matter how she reacts to the situation, she will never be ready for this situation."

"However…" Nan Moyi smiled bitterly. "Anan, I'm sorry. I don't know what to feel." He paused. "Should I be happy that my sister will not go to the place where she can lose herself or be mad because my new friend whom I treat as my brother would go?"

The young man was even looking at him while asking those words and the tone of his voice sounded afraid. Qin An could see the little desperation in his eyes to seek an answer about the question he asked for himself. The struggle in his eyes was real and he could tell how genuinely worried Nan Moyi was about his situation.

Qin An felt his heart skip a beat at this sight. Hearing the latter personally say he treats him as his brother made him feel warm in his heart.

Ever since he joined this competition, he had been constantly learning about many things from them and one thing that he truly felt fortunate about is how he developed connection with everyone. Whether it was only as a teammate, a friend and even as a brother. For Nan Moyi to say this, it's really true that he's treating him that way.

Then he would also no longer feel any regrets about withdrawing. Because even if he left the stage, there's them.

"Brother Nan, you don't have to worry." All of the sudden, Qin An also let go of the unknown restraint inside his heart and finally called Nan Moyi that way.

He also felt that calling him that way isn't that difficult either. Just by looking at the young man's shock and the small happiness quickly formed in his eyes, it's all good.

….

The next one to enter the room is Han Suwen. The latter still had a frown on his face and he was not concealing the displeased expression on his face even though he himself confirmed that this was really also his decision to withdraw.

The latter looked at him intently for a while before dropping a question.

"Does it really have to be you?" Han Suwen asked. Although he didn't know the real reason behind this, he was not a fool to know that the statement they gave was just pure bullshit.

Who doesn't know that Qin An is an orphan so how ridiculous it sounds when they hear that he has to let go due to a 'family' emergency? Are they treating everyone as fools? He knew that the company also thought so about the backlash on this but they've been acting weirdly and didn't even say anything. Which is strange for him because the company won't let this competition have such a negative impact on everyone.

This was the hard work that everyone pays, why would they release such a dumb statement even knowing such consequences? And the way they're not even doing anything to clarify and make other reasons just telling them that this decision was made abruptly.

They even made Qin An as the center for the group performance and they had been practicing during these past few days, so how could it be?

Furthermore, Han Suwen knew the young man's determination to stay on stage.

Like everyone else, he had been pouring everything in him to stay and improve. Among all the trainees, he thinks that this young man is the dark horse. Qin An sprinted and climbed all the way from the bottom to this point.

So he couldn't understand and felt that even if he knew the real truth behind this, he still wouldn't.

"Why do you have to sacrifice yourself for the sake of others? Anan, I think you should consider it again."

Qin An shook his head. "The decision is final."

"The decision? Not my decision?" Han Suwen exhales loudly. "You know, ever since I realized that I have no one else in this world, I've decided to stop caring about how the world looks at me. It doesn't matter to me anymore if I look pathetic or whatever in the eyes of others or even some would call me selfish for choosing myself. But that is how I protect and love myself. Anan, don't be afraid to step up even if it means you'll fight alone."

"... I know," Qin An could only say that helplessly.

Qin An admitted that he also felt reluctant about leaving but when he thought of everyone's enduring pain, he could not bear to sit in.

He just thought that this wasn't because he's disregarding himself anymore but for him to stay this determined, it was not because of oneself but rather by many 'people.' Qin An will choose this new path for himself and the people he started to cherish.

"What about the people that's waiting for your debut?" Han Suwen suddenly changed her question to this.

"What about the fans that've been rooting for you in this competition? What about them?"

"...." Honestly, he himself didn't know.

He still remembered the first tim he witnessed and heard the crowd's cheer for him. They shouted and squealed as loud as they could. Hearing them calling for his name that night was such a beautiful noise that he'll want to hear.

Then he was also given the time to do a video call for him. Qin An met the people who started believing him. His mind reaches everyone that sent him good luck and wishes for his success.

That small time was very memorable for him. So how could he forget? Especially he witnessed how the fans mourned for Pei Roujin's death.

Qin An saw every cry and agony that filled with regrets and the endless emptiness that'll stay inside their hearts.

When he decided this, he also remembered and took serious consideration about the fans.

His departure will cause pain no matter what side he looks to. He almost can't bear to see that in their eyes but he will never also bear to stay silent as he watched the world in pain and suffering from a thing that he could do something.

So he has to leave and maybe… just hope that one day he will meet them again on stage.

No matter what, he still believes that their fate will cross again.

….

Qin An's time for departure finally came and he also finished packing his things. He also bid goodbye to the remaining trainees such as Gu Yijin, Xing Ren, Lu Nanxiao, Sheng Yan and Chen Wei who expressed sadness for him.

Onto the last moment, he was patting Gu Yijin's shoulder silently as a comfort to the young man that worries him the most. The latter don't have anyone else aside from him so he was worried that Gu Yijin will close himself again.

This is not the right moment for that especially for the last performances on stage. Thus he signalled Han Suwen and He Yan about him while he's away.

Gu Yijin has to go out of his comfort zone like him to grow too.

And he believed that the rest of the trainees could do that.

….

After leaving, the remaining trainees decided to put their attention to the practice so they could somehow distract themselves from worrying too much. They're now inside the room and having a meeting about the changes for the performances now that Qin An left.

He has an important role for both the vocal and group performances so they have to think about this properly.

As they are discussing, Gu Yijin speaks up suddenly.

"About the group performance, I want to propose something," he said with firm determination. "I hope you can agree because I want to do something for Anan."

Hearing his name, other's expressions turned serious.

Anyway no matter what it is, if it's for the young man who left his dreams behind, so why not?

Thus after that, the trainees pushed themselves harder until the night of the final stage arrived.

*****