America 1982-Chapter 79 - 2: A Small Misunderstanding with the Fraternity_2
When you’re roaming the unfamiliar streets of San Francisco and run into trouble, you can also call the Fraternity, whose brothers will naturally find a way to bring you back, then spread the word all over that you, like an idiot, got arrested for refusing to pay the bill, leading everyone to donate sperm to help you raise the bail money and make a name for yourself at the university.
Joining the Fraternity means that during your four years of college, you’ll have a few more brothers with the same hobbies and experiences as you. They’ll accompany you in doing stupid things, chase girls with you, stay up late with you to prepare for exams, and walk the last stretch before entering society with you, ultimately growing up together to become those despised, self-righteous jerks that you used to talk about. Years later, when sitting together, you can still laugh heartily as you recall the silly things you did for each other.
Joining the Fraternity also means that maybe on some boring weekend in your junior year, while you guys are slumped on the couch pondering whether life only has women left to offer, an alumnus who’s a big shot at the Fraternity suddenly shows up, tells you rookies that his company is expanding and needs a few people with professional skills. He asks which of you idiots are good at a certain subject, tells you to take a leave of absence from school right now, and while he can still squander the investor’s money, roll over and start accumulating some cash and work experience. 𝒇𝙧𝙚𝓮𝔀𝓮𝒃𝙣𝓸𝒗𝒆𝒍.𝙘𝒐𝒎
Joining the Fraternity means that many years after graduating from college, when you’ve forgotten that part of your life, and one day, you want to switch jobs and join a new company to increase your income, you’re faced with an interview with a stodgy interviewer. When he finishes looking at your resume and listening to your brief introduction emotionlessly, you think the interview is a bust and a raise is out of reach. But in the end, when you shake hands to say goodbye, you’re surprised to find that he’s using the secret handshake of the same Fraternity as you. The interviewer, with a stern face, lets you know through the handshake: Idiot, scared you, didn’t I? Actually, you’ve been hired.
Of course, college life can be wonderful without joining the Fraternity, but a Fraternity, just like its name, ensures that you’ll definitely meet brothers with the same interests as yours. You also don’t have to worry about participating too much in Fraternity social activities and ruining your grades. Most prestigious universities’ Fraternities have academic requirements for their members, and if they find out you’re partying too hard and your grades are slipping, you’ll discover that the president, who willingly took you to the strip club last night, is handing you a note today with a stern face, telling you to go to the Fraternity’s study group. Until your grades are back on top, you’ll have to say goodbye to other Fraternity activities.
As for the hazing that every new member of the Fraternity will face, first of all, not all Fraternities are those twisted enough to torture people to death, but neither are there any that you can join easily without any conditions. Most initiation tasks are actually some crazy tasks that make the participants look stupid. As long as you honestly report your physical condition, tolerance for alcohol, appetite, and thickness of skin, and don’t exaggerate, the initiation tasks are not too difficult. For example, if you honestly admit that you can only drink two bottles of beer, it’s very unlikely that you’ll be forced to chug an entire bottle of vodka and then run naked for five kilometers. At most, you might have to run five kilometers wearing women’s lingerie.
Tommy had once joined an Asian Fraternity at Boston University in his previous life. Actually, the hazing methods of the Asian Fraternity were a bit more outrageous compared to most white Fraternities, or in the words of the Asian Fraternity: Being harsher on oneself makes an Asian stand stronger against white oppression.
Jason was already taking out paper and pen, leaning over the desk and starting to compile information about various Fraternities based on the descriptions from his cousin and uncle. In fact, this stuff could only fool the rookies completely unfamiliar with the Fraternity, making some quick cash.
The guy wrote at lightning speed, claiming he had put in a lot of effort to get into Stanford University, from understanding every detail about different departments at school to the prices at various restaurants. Not to mention the Fraternity he had been preparing to join since high school, he could list the characteristics of seventeen Fraternities like the back of his hand.
After spending a day and with the help of the library’s printing center, the two now had a flea market stall with three hundred copies of the "Stanford University Fraternity/Sorority Freshmen Mixer Handbook" in front of them. Merely thirty pages thick, one hundred copies were the abridged version with colorful covers, while two hundred copies were the complete version with covers resembling parchment paper.
The stack of one hundred free abridged versions was a mess on the table, while the complete versions were neatly stacked beside it. There was also a sign handwritten by Tommy in front of the stall that read, "Free Freshmen Mixer Handbooks."
The word "free" drew in most of the freshmen who were at the flea market to shop for second-hand textbooks. The two handbooks, which shared the same title but had differing covers and arrangements, piqued their curiosity. After inquiring and then seeing Tommy’s ambiguously smug smile, they decisively shelled out five bucks for the complete version, quickly compared it to the other, and, having a sudden realization, smiled at Tommy and Jason before turning to leave.
This tactic of offering something for free alongside a paid option allowed the two of them to sell out of handbooks in just a day and a half. After deducting the printing and production costs from the library, they earned over seven hundred dollars. Jason, thrilled as if he had just become America’s richest man, ran over to the girls’ dorm to announce that there would be a freshmen party tonight in Hope Apartment’s common living room. He even added in a low, mysteriously exciting tone that there would be drinks provided.
While Tommy and Jason were working hard to become the first guys to hit it off with the new girls, the Sigma Delta fraternity in charge of recruitment at Stanford University, abbreviated SSD, was looking at the two handbooks with displeasure. To avoid unnecessary disputes, all mentions of fraternity names had been cleverly avoided by Tommy and Jason, but it was still obvious to everyone which fraternity was being referred to. The recruiter was currently looking at the section about their own SSD:
"Which idiot leaked our secret plans? How did two freshmen find out about the big surprise that SSD had originally planned for this semester’s charity gala to fundraise for Vietnam War veterans? And they’re saying we’re going to roll it out at the recruitment party. If we don’t make it happen, what will the freshmen think of us? Worse, if other fraternities see this manual and think the idea is good, and they copy it, what are we going to do?"
"But this secret plan, only five people in the entire SSD know about it, and it’s still in the planning stages. Plus, the head of the Zeta sisterhood can’t confirm yet whether twenty girls will participate in our ’unhook a bra with one hand’ contest," said his puzzled companion.
The recruitment head asked, "Where are those two guys?"
"They’re using the money they made from selling the handbooks to desperately hit up the new girls," his companion replied, looking back at the recruiter. "Like most impulsive freshmen, they’re full of desire for the opposite sex."
"Get Martin and Wright and a few others, and have your girlfriend bring some flirty vixens from Zeta. We need to find out from those two newcomers exactly who leaked the secret," the recruiter stood up and headed towards the door:
"I refuse to believe that two freshmen who have just left high school and have only seen naked women in magazines could come up with the raunchy games written in this handbook on their own. I don’t know about their major, but I’d give them full marks for their writing at least. You know why? I’ve been playing for three years, and the games they’ve written are more thrilling than any I’ve seen. Just reading the text gets me all worked up."
