A Love I Shouldn't Feel-Chapter 81: Lost in the Crowd ( )

I wonder what Haruki is doing right now...

Kyouko glanced down at her basket, already heavy with vegetables and bottled sauces. She let out a soft sigh, brushing a few strands of hair behind her ear as she stepped into the fresh meat section.

The light above the refrigerated display flickered faintly. She scanned the cuts of meat absently at first, until something caught her eye.

Premium marbled beef.

Thick slices. Perfect for grilling or roasting.

Her fingers paused just above the package.

Ah... this is the one Haruki liked.

She remembered clearly how his eyes lit up when he tasted it for the first time—grilled just right, dipped in soy and garlic.

"This one’s too good, Kyouko," he’d said with a boyish grin. "Are you trying to spoil me?"

She smiled unconsciously.

Maybe I was...

She gently picked up the package and placed it into her basket, her fingers lingering on the plastic wrap for a second longer than necessary.

He’d be happy if I made this for him again...

Meanwhile, Haruki.

He stood by the prepared food section, holding a tray of sliced premium beef in one hand.

Ah... this should be my dinner tonight.

He smiled faintly, eyes drifting over the marbling in the meat.

If only Kyouko were the one cooking it for me...

He could already see her in the kitchen—tying her apron neatly, brushing her hair behind her ear as she grilled the meat slowly on the pan. The sizzle, the steam rising... her gentle hands grating fresh garlic over the top, then sprinkling just the right amount of salt.

She always served it hot, immediately—the way he loved.

No words. Just her soft smile. That quiet, loving glance.

And maybe... if she were in a kimono too... pouring sake for him with that shy little bow she always does...

Haruki’s smile deepened, pain and longing in his heart.

God, I miss her...

He sighed and placed the meat in his basket, walking slowly toward the self-checkout area.

I wonder what Kyouko is doing at home right now.

He pictured her curled up on the couch, maybe watching TV with the sound low. Perhaps sipping tea from her usual floral mug. Maybe preparing something warm for dinner all alone.

She’s probably waiting for me to call...

Sorry, Kyouko... I’ll be back before you even realize it.

After paying at the register, Kyouko pushed the heavy cart out into the parking lot. The sun was beginning to dip low, casting a warm, golden light across the pavement.

She opened the trunk of her mother’s car with a soft click, then slowly began loading the bags inside—sake bottles clinking gently, wrapped meats tucked carefully on one side.

She wiped her brow, letting out a soft sigh.

Just as she closed the trunk, something caught her eye.

Across the lot, a man was climbing onto his scooter.

He’d already strapped on his helmet, his head tilted slightly downward as he adjusted the strap. His build was tall and familiar. The way he moved...

Kyouko narrowed her eyes slightly.

Hmm?

Why... does that man look like Haruki?

The scooter rumbled softly to life.

The man leaned forward, lifted his foot—and rolled away.

She watched silently.

The helmet. The shoulders. The posture.

Everything about him stirred something deep inside her chest.

Am I dreaming?

...Or am I really going crazy now?

She stood still for a long moment, her hand resting on the edge of the car.

Then she let out a quiet laugh, brushing the thought away as she stepped into the driver’s seat.

That man...

Kyouko gripped the steering wheel tightly.

Her heart thumped loudly—sudden and fierce. Her chest felt tight.

She didn’t know what had overtaken her.

The engine roared to life as she turned the key. Her hand flew to the gear, and her foot slammed the pedal harder than she intended.

The car jerked slightly forward.

I’m not sure... but if there’s even the smallest chance...

The scooter was already leaving the parking lot, turning left at the signal. The helmet glinted in the fading sunlight.

She drove quickly, eyes fixed ahead, ignoring the soft warning buzz of her seatbelt.

If that’s Haruki...

The scooter merged onto the quiet local road, weaving through the early evening traffic. Kyouko followed, keeping a few cars between them, her heart pounding with each second that passed.

Why am I doing this...?

This is reckless.

But her hands stayed firm on the wheel.

Her breath trembled.

Kyouko tightened her grip on the steering wheel, eyes fixed on the scooter just ahead.

She drove carefully—close enough to follow, but far enough not to draw attention.

Please don’t disappear...

The man’s figure was steady as he turned onto the next street. His helmet reflected the evening glow, shoulders rising and falling with each breath.

It really looks like him...

Just as she reached the corner, the traffic light ahead flashed yellow—then red.

"Ah—!"

Kyouko slammed on the brakes, her car coming to a smooth, abrupt stop.

But the scooter didn’t slow.

It kept going, cruising through the yellow light as it turned.

Kyouko watched helplessly as the man drifted out of sight, swallowed by the curve of the road.

Her chest rose and fell quickly, the silence inside the car suddenly louder than anything outside.

The red light lingered. She nervously tapped her steering wheel, biting the inside of her cheek.

Wait for me...

She didn’t even know who she was begging.

But in her heart, she hoped.

Please... just be him.

The light turned green.

She pressed the accelerator.

The car moved forward, but the scooter was gone.

Nowhere in sight.

No helmet.

No taillight.

Nothing.

Her breath hitched as her eyes scanned the deserted road ahead in quiet desperation.

"...No..."

She turned onto the nearest side street, pulling over into a safe spot beside a vending machine. The engine hummed as she shifted into park, resting both hands on the steering wheel.

A soft sigh escaped her lips. fɾēewebnσveℓ.com

Maybe it was just my imagination after all.

Her heart still beat too fast. Her palms were warm.

She stared out the windshield, lost in the fading orange of the sky.

Then her phone buzzed sharply against the passenger seat.

Riiiing—

She flinched slightly, glancing at the screen.

"Mom."

"Kyouko? Where are you? Why so late?"

"Um... I got stuck at the traffic light," she answered quietly, trying not to sound distracted.

A short pause.

Then her mother’s voice, teasing and a little irritated:

"Do you think this is Tokyo?"

Kyouko gave a small laugh. "No... Sorry. I’ll be back soon."

She hung up and set the phone down gently.

Then she sat in silence for a moment longer, staring out into the empty street.

That man really looked like Haruki...

But now the road was empty.

And he was already gone.

( End Of Chapter )