I Stole the Villain's Cat, and Now He Thinks I'm His Wife
Chapter 59: The Falling Ice, The Fox-Kin, and The Tuna Festival
The Northern Fortress was built to withstand sieges, avalanches, and corrupted beasts. It was not, however, built to gracefully handle the spring thaw.
I was walking across the inner courtyard with Rin and Yua, enjoying the rare afternoon sun that managed to pierce through the thick gray clouds. The air was still biting cold, but the massive snowdrifts piled against the iron walls were finally beginning to sweat.
"Look!" Rin cheered, pointing a mittened hand toward the roof of the main keep. "The gargoyles are crying!"
I looked up. The terrifying, monstrous iron statues perched on the battlements were dripping with melted snow. But as I squinted against the glare of the white sky, I realized it wasn’t just water coming down.
A massive, jagged slab of solid black ice, easily the size of a carriage door, had completely broken loose from the high slanted roof.
And it was sliding directly toward the courtyard walkway. Right above Rin.
"Rin, move!" I shouted, dropping the basket of winter wool I was holding and lunging forward to grab her.
I didn’t make it in time.
Before the ice could even clear the eaves, a blur of russet red and black iron shot out from the shadows of the second-story watchtower.
It didn’t look like a person jumping; it looked like a bolt of lightning cutting through the freezing air. The figure intercepted the falling block of ice mid-drop. There was a deafening CRACK, followed by the sharp, ringing shing of a blade being drawn and sheathed in less than a second.
The massive block of ice shattered into perfectly harmless, tiny cubes of hail, raining down softly onto the gravel courtyard.
The figure landed silently in front of Rin, his boots making absolutely zero noise as they hit the stone.
He slowly stood up to his full height. He wore the dark iron breastplate of the Northern Vanguard, but his sharp, amber eyes and the russet-furred fox ears twitching atop his head marked him clearly as fox-kin. A thick, bushy red tail swayed calmly behind him, brushing against the hilt of his curved uchigatana.
He didn’t look panicked. He looked like he was barely awake.
"Apologies for the sudden snowstorm, Lady Kitsune," the guard said, his voice a smooth, lazy drawl that completely contradicted the terrifying speed I had just witnessed. He offered a crisp, perfectly executed bow. "The southern roof tends to shed violently this time of year."
I stared at him, my heart still hammering against my ribs. I pulled Rin behind me, looking at the neatly diced cubes of ice scattered across the ground.
"You cut a falling boulder of ice into cubes in mid-air," I noted, my voice slightly breathless.
"A parlor trick," he smiled, his fox ears flicking back lazily. "My name is Ginji. Lord Akira assigned me to the inner keep’s security detail this morning. I am to be your personal shadow, My Lady. Though I promise to try and stay out from underfoot."
"You just saved my little sister from being crushed," I said, my initial shock fading into profound relief. "You can stand wherever you like, Ginji. Thank you."
Ginji’s amber eyes softened just a fraction, a genuine warmth breaking through his lazy guard persona. "It is an honor to serve the Warlord’s Consort. Speaking of duties... I believe there is an urgent matter requiring your attention in the kitchens."
"Did the chimney catch fire?" Yua asked nervously, stepping up beside me.
"Worse," Ginji sighed, his bushy tail drooping slightly. "The coastal merchants finally delivered the fish."
Five minutes later, I understood why the elite fox-kin guard looked so exhausted.
The main kitchen of the fortress was absolute bedlam. The heavy wooden double doors were propped wide open, and three massive, ice-packed wooden carts had been rolled directly into the center of the room. 𝒻𝑟𝘦𝘦𝘸ℯ𝒷𝑛𝘰𝓋ℯ𝘭.𝘤𝘰𝘮
Laying in the carts were dozens of enormous, silver-blue premium coastal tuna.
And standing on top of the largest fish, in his twelve-year-old boy form, was Yuki. He was holding a wooden ladle like a royal scepter, his white cat ears standing straight up in pure, unadulterated triumph.
"Behold!" Yuki declared, his voice echoing off the stone walls. "The ocean’s bounty has arrived! We shall feast like the ancient gods!"
"Lord Yuki, please step off the merchandise," the Head Chef pleaded, weeping openly as he wiped his flour-covered hands on his apron. "We need to scale them before they thaw!"
"You will scale nothing until I have inspected the fatty bellies!" Yuki ordered tyrannically. He pointed his ladle at a group of terrified kitchen boys. "You! Fetch the sharpest knives! And you, prepare the soy glaze! This is not a drill, people! We are operating at maximum culinary capacity!"
"It’s been like this for twenty minutes," Quartermaster Koji grunted, suddenly appearing beside me. He looked deeply tired. "He threatened to turn the sou-chef into a badger if the rice wasn’t fluffy enough."
"I’ll handle the deity," I laughed, shaking my head at the absolute absurdity of the scene. I looked at my new shadow. "Ginji, could you help the Quartermaster unload the rest of the carts?"
"With pleasure, My Lady," Ginji bowed, effortlessly lifting a two-hundred-pound frozen tuna over his shoulder as if it weighed nothing at all.
I waded into the kitchen chaos, grabbing Yua’s hand and pulling her into the fray. "Alright, everyone, listen up! Lord Yuki is right, tonight is a feast! Yua, take charge of the vegetable prep. Chef, get the grills hot. Yuki, get off the fish before I tell Akira to freeze it back into a block of ice!"
Yuki scrambled off the tuna instantly, though he maintained his smug expression. "I am merely supervising, basement rat. Perfection requires oversight."
By the time the sun began to set, the entire fortress smelled like roasted fish, soy, and burning pine. The atmosphere was completely electric. The grim, terrifying soldiers of the Northern Marches were laughing, passing around cups of warm sake, and celebrating the end of the winter rations.
I stepped out onto the training grounds to catch my breath, wrapping my thick fur cloak tightly around my shoulders.
In the center of the snowy yard, Commander Tomoe was standing with her arms crossed, looking down at Rin.
Rin was holding a wooden practice sword that was almost as tall as she was. She was wearing a tiny, heavily padded leather training vest over her wool tunic.
"Your stance is too wide, little bear," Tomoe boomed, her steel-gray eyes completely serious. She tapped Rin’s boot with the toe of her iron boot. "If an ice bear charges you, it will knock you right off your center of gravity."
"Then I will bite its nose!" Rin declared fiercely, adjusting her feet and raising the wooden sword.
"Excellent strategy," Tomoe nodded approvingly. "The nose is highly sensitive. But before you bite, you must strike the knee. Like this."
Tomoe drew her own massive practice sword and demonstrated a slow, sweeping low strike. Rin watched with absolute awe, immediately trying to mimic the terrifying Vanguard Commander.
"No biting bears!" I called out from the edge of the yard, completely unable to stop myself.
Tomoe looked over her shoulder and grinned, showing off a slightly chipped tooth. "We are simply discussing hypothetical wilderness survival, Lady Kitsune! The girl has the spirit of a dire wolf!"
Before I could scold her further, a heavy, familiar warmth settled over my shoulders.
Akira stepped up right behind me, wrapping his arms around my waist and pulling my back flush against his chest. He rested his chin on the top of my head, looking out over the training yard.
"She has good form," Akira noted, his deep voice vibrating against my hair.
"She is nine," I sighed, leaning back into his embrace. "She should be playing with dolls, not learning how to sever tendons."
"She is a child of the North now," Akira said softly, his thumb gently stroking my hip. "She will learn how to survive so she never has to be afraid. Tomoe will protect her like her own cub."
I watched Rin laugh as she swung the wooden sword, entirely fearless in the freezing snow. I looked back toward the kitchens, where the sounds of Ginji and the guards cheering over Yuki’s ridiculous culinary demands echoed into the night.
I tipped my head back, looking up at the fearsome Warlord who had given us all a place to belong.
"You know," I smiled, intertwining my fingers with his. "For a bunch of terrifying, bloodthirsty warriors, you guys make a pretty amazing family."
Akira looked down at me, the reflection of the courtyard torches dancing in his amber eyes.
"We are whatever you need us to be," he promised.