Uzumaki: I can comprehend anything - Chapter 245: Tanuki Shigaraki

Leguna. An orphan. His life changed dramatically the day the thieves’ guild happened to select him for training and development. He would go on to become lifelong friends with a loyal mercenary, the partner of a beautiful magus who was cold as ice, the savior of a mysterious disfigured dark-elf girl with a talent for the Breath, and the unlikely caregiver for a feisty young maiden. And yet, who would be with him to the very end?

How did he meet such a bandit-like man? He drags you away the second he sees you! And yet, the only thing he can do is try his best to set the boundaries between them.

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“Don’t you ever try to leave and reason things out. It’s futile. Yelling is also useless. This lao zi has already fallen for you and I shall make you mine.”

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“Be obedient and wait for me at home, so I can pamper you till the day I die.”

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“Running away? What about it?

You dare to run away again and this lao zi will spend his lifetime seeing you try.”

- Description from Novelupdates

Even though he lived in America, Tang Cu had been deemed the “godly author” since his debut 8 years ago on a famous Chinese online novel website. However, many people did not know he had a severe social anxiety disorder which caused him to be considered “cold.” After being invited to do an interview for the company’s 10 year anniversary celebration in China, he finally gathered his courage to meet with his #1 fan, Pian Yu.

Pian Yu had been following Tang Cu’s novels for his entire career and, after noticing the lack of romance in Tang Cu’s popular novels, they wrote fanfiction for his novels to include the ‘romance’ Tang Cu left out.

However, Pian Yu turned out to be a male college student named Lu LianGuang.

- Description from Novelupdates

“They Call Guys Like Me a Simp.”(Meanwhile, I’m out here living what their favorite MC only dreams about.)You ever notice how stories glorify the ones who feel nothing?The MC who never laughs.Never feels.Who plays women like chess pieces and calls it intelligence.He manipulates a girl? “He’s strategic.”He never opens up? “He’s mysterious.”He never flinches, never laughs, never lives —And you call that strength?Funny.Because to me?That’s just a prison in disguise.You see an “alpha.”I see a boy too scared to feel anything real.While they spend ten chapters monologuing about logic and sacrifice,I’m already making the Saintess scream,drenched in sin,halo cracked,legs trembling from truths her prayers never taught her.And I didn’t get there with cold eyes or control.I got there with laughter and chill. With warmth. With a grin and a hand on her thigh.I didn’t need to dominate her mind —I freed her heart.But that scares people, doesn’t it?Because readers trust the ones who suffer.Who stay quiet.Who kill without blinking and love without showing it.But me?I flirt.I laugh.I take hits and smile back, bloody and defiant, as if too weak to get angry.I don’t need to pretend emotions are weakness.I weaponize mine.Pleasure. Connection. Laughter.That’s my arsenal.And while your favorite MC is still calculating his next five moves,Trying to outwit death and romance like both are math problems,I’m already balls deep in the jade fairy — her sacred yin furnace clenching like it’s worshipping my shaft, her Dao Echo shattered into breathless moans, and her so-called cultivation path leaking down her thighs while she begs me to break her meridians again.You call that luck?Nah.That’s mastery of the three worlds.Because in a world that respects coldness,I came in hot.Where others manipulate, I connect.Where they posture, I play.Where they sacrifice, I seduce.So go ahead.Call me a simp.But while your genius MC is busy monologuing about destiny,I’m the one making goddesses question theirs —with a smirk, a touch, and no regrets.I’m not the hero.Not the villain.I’m just a simp… the kind who leaves your cold, emotionless MC’s woman dripping, ruined, and too stretched to go back to him.