This Japanese Monogatari Isn't Lame - Chapter 540 - 346: I’m Tired (4000 words)

Pinning her tall body against the hard wall, he looked into her beautiful emerald green eyes as he spoke in a deep voice, "I have two options for you," his body came closer to hers as he continued, "Be my girlfriend. Or," his lips turned into a sly smile as he whispered close to her ear, "Be my boyfriend." He even dared to wink right before her as his dark orbs glinted amusingly.

Traveling through the world of comprehensive martial arts, Xia An awakens the god-level corpse-touching system, as long as he touches the corpse, he can get various rewards!

I wanted to develop wretchedly, but I just became a six-door patrol, and I was ruthless at the beginning!

Ruthless: “The pervert will die!”

Xia An: “Obviously you rushed up by yourself, so can you go down to the ground now…”

With being involved in various disputes, Xia An’s strength is constantly increasing.

“Ding! Congratulations to the host for touching Ye Gucheng’s body, gaining 20 years of internal strength, flying immortal sword moves from heaven and earth.”

“Ding! Congratulations to the host for touching Yang Dingtian’s corpse, gaining a hundred years of skill, and moving the universe.”

…

Many years later, Emperor Ming looked at Xia An with a wry smile.

“Wu Wang, why don’t you be the emperor?”

- Description from novelbuddy

This is a bizarre and mysterious world filled with various sinister cultivation methods. Once a person begins to cultivate, they will either undergo mild changes in appearance and temperament, descend into madness, or become a great elixir for evil beings to consume...Duan Yun, having transmigrated into this world, unexpectedly comes across a supreme elixir cultivation manual, the 'True Explanation of the Jade Sword.'To his surprise, he is a one-in-a-million cultivation genius who, unwittingly, transforms the manual into something extraordinary. Guided by the Jade Sword, he is able to pierce through everything.Later, as his mastery over various methods grows, Duan Yun, carrying the philosophy of 'the enlightened benefit the world,' never keeps secrets and spreads martial arts across the land.Who would have thought...“Duan the Demon misled me! He said this technique enhances yin and yang, but now I can only squat to pee, boo hoo...”“It was the Demon who taught me this 'Seven Parts Returning Qi'. Instead of blessing me, it brought disaster—I either get killed or step in dung. The fortune-teller said I've lost seventy percent of my luck.”“Don't trust a word of what Demon Duan says! The fairy of the Myriad Wonders Palace was supposed to ascend the whole palace to the heavens, but in one night, she was possessed and turned into a demoness, all due to that old demon Duan's handiwork!”...Duan Yun finds this incomprehensible. All he did was practice martial arts, spread techniques, and occasionally emulate the laws of nature, so how did he become notorious as a demon?This is slander!The same techniques cause no issues for me, so the problem lies with you all, not me!

Ten years ago, John and his parents were transported into a game world.This young man, full of ambition to conquer the world, unfortunately awakened the weakest class—Furniture Maker.But what troubled John most wasn’t his class.Like most transmigrators, he had a system.The only problem was—This system kept granting him strange and absurd skills.[Ding! Congratulations, Host! You’ve acquired a concept-level skill: Absolute Diarrhea Technique. Your basic attacks will cause opponents to suffer explosive diarrhea until complete exhaustion. Any creature without an anus is unworthy of being your enemy!][Ding! Congratulations, Host! You’ve acquired a concept-level skill: Mummification Wrapping Technique. Bandages crafted by you can heal all things!][Ding! Congratulations, Host! You’ve acquired a concept-level skill: You may steal and copy the abilities of anyone named John!][Ding! Congratulations, Host! You’ve acquired a bonus concept-level skill: You may forcibly rename anyone to John!]…Years later, in the Divine Realm, a lone figure stood tall above the heavens.As the sacred hymns echoed, he raised a finger—And all the gods clenched their anuses in fear.