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... nly through a small door on the side. The huge gate was only for the imperial family or special occasions and this was one of them. When it opened, a loud noise was heard, echoing in all the surroundings.

This noise was recognizable to all the older citizens, so much so that in the main street in front of the mansion, everyone gathered in curiosity. Soon, as the large doors finished opening, almost the entire Empire was waiting. If this noise was heard, it meant that something important ...

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“Heart wants to love but fears the fate of being left alone.”

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He Jian I loved you more than anything in my whole life. To the point that it became poison for me.

Now in this life, I loved myself. I sealed my heart for you. Then why are you not leaving me alone? Why are you constantly pulling me into your life.? Why do your eyes have something else other than disgust for me?

Did you not hate me?

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You or Me?

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Excerpt

A gentle kiss fell on her lips and a shiver ran down her spine.

“I love you.”

Her heart pounded fiercely inside her chest. These words. Oh, how she wished to hear them in her last life. She might have fainted from happiness if she had heard them at that time. But now, they didn’t bring that happiness to her heart. They only brought fear, confusion and anger, and so many questions.

“How can you…” She whispered more to herself.

How can he love her?

He heard her and stroked her cheek. The touch was so gentle that it made her feel as if she was a precious treasure. It made her feel loved.

She raised her head to look at him. The usual ice-cold-blue eyes were filled with smiles as he asked her.

“Why can’t I?”

She swallowed realizing how those eyes still affected her, realizing how weak she was. Tears surfaced through her eyes and she saw him panicking. He tried to wipe them gently as she whispered.

“You can’t……..you just can’t.”

~*~*~**~*~*~

Mo Roulan spent her whole life chasing after the man she loved with her whole heart. At the time of her death, when she didn't see even an ounce of sorrow in his eyes, her heart was filled with sorrow.

She was reborn. This time she vowed to make different choices and change her destiny. Hiding the past in her heart, this time she chose her family. But what will she do when the same past is back pounding on the doors of her heart, ready to break the walls she had surrounded her heart with.

Will she give it a chance or will she continue to hide those feelings inside her heart?

Read on to find out what wins. Her fear or His love?

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Warning - The story has side couples who are homosexual and hence has the LGBT tag. The story will also concentrate on those couples as well as the main couple. If you don't like to read BL and GL then please leave it but don't leave disgusting comments about homosexuality.

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I’m a high school student who became an author after debuting at Dengeki Bunko. After taking a year of hiatus from school to write my work, I transferred out to another high school to study, and met a girl called Eri Nitadori in school, a rookie voice actress cast as a character in the anime adaptation of my work.

In school, we treat our professions as a secret. However, Nitadori’s very popular in class, and I’m a loner…the only chance we get to talk to each other is when we take the Limited Express train together every Thursday, seated side by side as we head off for an anime, After Recording.

To improve her skills, she asked me questions regarding the profession. While I was answering the questions regarding the process–how did it end up like this.

This is what I last remembered before I lost consciousness, and the story of my near-death experience.