The Golden Fool - Chapter 15: Buyer At The Door

I found myself in a parallel universe, awakening as a male priest. Everything seemed perfect; after all, as a healer, specializing in aiding women should pose no issue, right? However, I couldn’t help but wonder about some peculiar spells in my repertoire.

Firstly, what in the world is the “Instantaneous Outbreak of Acute Gastroenteritis” spell? And don’t even get me started on the “Osteoporosis” spell. What purpose could these serve in my healing endeavors? The confusion only deepened with spells like “Blood Burn,” “Gradual Freeze,” and “Mental Chaos.” Can I still peacefully focus on healing women with such ominous abilities?

Comparing my spells to those of other professions, I couldn’t help but notice the stark contrast. Mages wield “Doomstorm” and “Ice Age,” swordsmen boast “Sword Rain: Homecoming” and “Wind-Cutter Slash,” while archers showcase “Arrow Rain: Shooting Stars” and “Storm Arrow.” Yet, my ultimate spells are disturbingly named “Cancer Cell Proliferation,” “T-Virus Infection,” and “Rabies Outbreak.”

In the midst of it all, a certain character, some crying girl, laments, “Noooo, I just took a bath, who would have thought that I would become infected!”

Meanwhile, a villain chillingly asks, “Do any of you know what it feels like to burst apart while spouting blood? No! You don’t know!”

Even a boss character confesses, “Dear family, who can understand? I just took a nap, and when I woke up, I suddenly found that I have no kidneys!”

Get ready to swat away tears of laughter and brace yourself for the most buzzworthy adventure of the century! Meet Ben Franklin, the world's foremost expert in attracting bad luck and the unlikeliest hero you'll ever encounter.

From stumbling over his own shoelaces to triggering fire alarms with a single glance, Ben's life is a never-ending comedy of errors. And if you thought his luck would change in the afterlife, think again! Even the god of opportunity couldn't resist the magnetic pull of Ben's bad luck charms.

Just as Ben was about to embark on a new adventure in the great beyond, fate took a hilarious twist. A glitch in the universe turned him into a mutant mosquito, reincarnated along with the very reincarnation system itself! Now that's what you call a bug in the matrix!

The absence of a reincarnation system in the universe has resulted in a cosmic crisis. With dead souls wandering aimlessly and lifeless babies popping out like deflated balloons, it's up to our unlikely hero to solve the mystery and save the day!

Now armed with six legs, buzzing wings, and an insatiable thirst for adventure (and, let's not forget, blood), the legend of Ben Franklin, the most unlikely hero in the insect kingdom, began. With his quirky sense of humour and insatiable thirst for justice, he embarked on a hilarious and unconventional quest to save the universe, leaving behind a trail of itchy mosquito bites and bacterial infections in his wake.

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Forget history. Forget legacy. Forget passion.The future of football is a formula, and eighteen-year-old Michael Sterling is about to prove it.While his father, Richard, clings to the romantic, decaying dream of their beloved Northwood FC, Michael sees only one thing: failure.The club is a joke, staring down the barrel of relegation with a wage bill that could bankrupt a small nation.His solution? Sell. His father's? A lecture about the club's “soul.”Mocked by his friends and infuriated by his father's refusal to face reality, Michael snaps.He’s done trying to fix the past; he's going to build the future.Liquidating his lavish lifestyle, he gambles everything he has on a radical experiment: to create a football club run purely by logic.He'll scout with algorithms, sign players based on statistical value, and manage with cold, calculated strategy. He’s building a machine designed for one purpose: to dominate.This is the story of a young genius who declares war on the old ways, determined to build an empire so successful it will force his father, and the entire football world, to admit he was right.Can a club without a soul conquer the beautiful game?

The dead cannot speak.

It means the living can create any story they want.

Inheritance, honor and wealth can be taken away by lies.

However, what happens when a person, who was presumed to be dead, returns alive?