The God Virus - Chapter 501 - Funny

She killed his wife, destroyed his reputation, and ran off with his son. 8 years later, she returned home with her genius son, who already had a fiancée. “Give me the child, or you can’t afford the price.”“A girl who eats meat and vegetables doesn’t suffer, if you want a child, find yourself a woman to give you one.”

Sister in law: “Qing, why is the eggplant you planted curved?”Li Qing: “What do you understand? Only curved ones are more enjoyable?”Sister in law's face turned red and she said, “Why are cucumbers straight?”Li Qing chuckled mischievously and said, “Only straight ones can go deeper.”

A hundred thousand years ago, there was a great war between cultivators. Immortals fell by the tens of thousands, the path of cultivation itself was severed, and after the dust settled, tombs forested the world.

A hundred thousand years after the last legend faded, Lu Yun, commandant of tomb raiders, descends upon the world. Armed with the Book of Life and Death, he has some burning questions to answer.

……

“This isn’t how you raid a tomb!” Lu Yun smirked at the cultivators frantically scurrying about the ancient tomb. “Do you want me to teach you?”

……

But ah, can someone teach him how to cure his new body’s erectile dysfunction?

The fat cat Black Tubby said, “Supreme Commander is a good person, meow!”

The bird Grandfather Sparrow said, “Supreme Commander is a good person, chirp!”

The little mouse Oil Jar also said, “Supreme Commander is a good person, squeak!”

Furthermore, the weasel Great Immortal said, “You and Supreme Commander are a match made in Heaven~”

All of the little animals told Ning Xiaoyao about Supreme Commander, Supreme Commander, Supreme Commander! So, Ning Xiaoyao believed that this Supreme Commander named Lou Zigui had to be a good guy. As to whether or not they were a match made in Heaven…

The fat cat Black Tubby clawed at Ning Xiaoyao. “You wrote the decree sentencing Supreme Commander to death in the execution grounds, ah! You fatuous, self-indulgent ruler!!!”

Ning Xiayao replied, “…”

—

Ning Xiaoyao is a genetically evolved army doctor from a zombie-infested apocalyptic world. One day, she transmigrates to the past as the next emperor of an ancient country. But wait, isn’t she a girl?!

As it turns out, she’s a disguised stand-in for her baby brother under the “loving” care of the empress dowager, her mother and future murderer. Faced with her impending death, Ning Xiaoyao must thwart the schemes of her family to survive in a palace allied against her. But how does a zombie-killing expert with supernormal strength, healing powers, and the ability to understand animals deal with the intricacies of court politics?

“If nothing else works, I’ll just beat them all up!”