The Calamitous Bob - Chapter 17: Like Rats

Guys here is my pitch.....In the sprawling world of fantasy, we’ve often been treated to tales of heroes reincarnated with divine blessings, legendary powers, or cheat-like abilities, thrust into magical lands as shining saviors—or chaotic terrors. But what happens when the very concept of reincarnation becomes a curse? When the divine boon is a big fat joke, and the “cheat system” doesn’t quite… cheat?Enter John, the unluckiest reincarnate. Blessed by a god and thrust into a fantasy world, he dreams of glory, power, and adventure—only to wake up as a normal, utterly powerless bird. Not a mythical phoenix, not an ancient thunder eagle. Just… a bird.To make matters worse, this world is no ordinary realm. It's a land scarred by the devastating legacies of past isekai’d heroes and villains, whose reckless exploits piled skeletons into mountains and turned their cheats into harbingers of chaos. Fed up with these unruly intruders, the ancients of the realm banded together to create a world-shaking seal: all reincarnated souls are trapped in the bodies of harmless animals, confined to isolated sanctuaries that function more like fantasy zoos.Here’s the twist: this isn’t mercy. It’s a resource grab. The powerful beast tamers of this realm have turned these reincarnated souls into exotic pets, prized for their cheat-like potential.John finds himself at the bottom of the food chain in every sense. His cheat doesn’t work. His human form is gone. And his world is filled with predatory cultivators who see him as either a snack or a tool.But John isn’t one to give up so easily. What starts as despair quickly turns into cunning survival. With wings and wit as his only tools, John must navigate layers of misfortune, dodge fate’s sharp talons, and cheat his way through a world determined to keep him grounded.Get ready to join John on a wildly unconventional journey—one where reincarnation isn’t a ticket to greatness, but a death sentence he’s determined to rewrite. His story is one of humor, wit, and persistence, as he explores a world where he is the joke and his survival is the punchline.Main tags: reincarnation/isekai, beast taming cultivation system, comedy, action, adventure.Of course No-harem!

[Female Protagonist Synopsis]:Mia Ginger experienced a trial marriage.Before the trial marriage--Dad said: “Koa Jackson is a postdoctoral fellow, watch your words and deeds.”Mom said: “Since you don't like him anyway, why not let your sister have him.”Brother said: “Shameless, stealing big sister's beloved.”Sister said: “Why didn't you come back a month later!”Mia Ginger didn't understand, she was already seventeen years late, late enough that the whole Ginger Family completely forgot her existence, late enough that the adopted sister occupied seventeen years of affection, late enough that the man she was betrothed to almost became someone else's groom, how much later should she be?Mia Ginger curved her lips: “Grandpa Jackson, I will strive to be worthy of Brother Jackson.”She thought it was out of spite, unaware that upon meeting him again, she discovered he was the big brother lingering in her heart for nearly ten years.At two years old, she got lost, falling from a Rich Family's Daughter to a street beggar, picked up and raised by a masseuse for seventeen years, and upon returning home, she was determined to become the first socialite in upper-class society.[Male Protagonist Synopsis]He is Koa Jackson, the third son of the Jackson Family, elegant and upright, with outstanding looks, the youngest neurosurgery professor in the domestic medical field, known by all.Simply because, at twenty-seven, he remains single.All young ladies want to marry into the Jackson Family, unaware the nobleman was betrothed since birth.In his entire life, he need only remain pure, waiting for one girl to grow up.Before the trial marriage, Koa Jackson had seen his future bride twice.The first time, he was eight, she was eight months. He stood by the bed watching her crawl with her little bottom, finding it amusing, he wrote his name on her sole and said with a smile: “Brother will stamp you.”The second time, he was eighteen, she was ten. He stood by the road watching her sneakily stealing, feeling pity, he took her hand and gave her a hundred yuan, helplessly saying: “Not stealing is a good child.”He's always remembered the first time, long forgotten the second.Unexpectedly, the little girl whose foot he tickled at home always regarded the second time as her life's salvation.[He couldn't partake in her turbulent past, but wholeheartedly takes on her prosperous future; companionship is the most touching confession.]

Three centuries ago, reality tore open and parasites from another dimension poured through. They didn't just kill humanity—they consumed it, wearing human faces while spreading like a plague through every major city.The strong became Originals, commanding lesser generations in a hierarchy of monsters that humanity calls Bloodsuckers.Now they own everything. Governments, corporations, entire cities bow to creatures that should be myths.That's when the Shadowguard was born. They were humanity's elite hunters equiped with the skills and tools to put an end to the bloodsuckers. But they became nothing more than political tools, protecting the wealthy while the poor got harvested by Bloodsuckers like cattle.Kaine Cross was one of the best hunters alive until he walked away from the corruption. He decided to become a solo hunter.Unfortunately, going freelance got him killed by the very monsters he'd spent twelve years learning to destroy.Death was supposed to be final. Instead, Kaine awakens in an ancient tomb with a system that makes him something the bloodsuckers have never faced—a predator that grows stronger with every kill, commands armies of the dead, and turns their own kind against them.Every kill feeds his strength. Every corpse becomes a loyal soldier. Every battle expands his growing army until even vampire lords will bow or join his ranks permanently.[LEGENDARY WEAPON ACQUIRED: SOUL END - THE DEATH REAPER][SKILL UNLOCKED: CORPSE DOMINATION - UNLIMITED ARMY CAPACITY][MORTAL ESSENCE SYSTEM: ABSORB POWER FROM EVERY KILL]Zombies. Liches. Reapers. Wights. Revenants. And even monster girls; beautiful, deadly creatures once enslaved by the vampires now serve at his side, bound by Kaine’s will or by lust, vengeance, and freedom.He's not a hero. Heroes save people. Kaine Cross collects enemies and turns them into allies, whether they want to be or not.The vampires ruled through fear for centuries. Now they're about to learn what happens when death itself holds a grudge.Join Kaine as he builds an unstoppable army of undead and monster girls, and leads them on a path of blood-soaked revenge.Build an army. Claim your revenge. Rule the dead.

This year, Ji Jingqiu is 16 years old.To survive, he envisions the Fire House Buddha Prison, plants a bodhi treasure tree, and embarks on the path of martial arts.Many years later,A brilliant light arises, illuminating endless darkness.A towering ancient tree, with emerald green leaves and a canopy like a pavilion, rises with glass-like clarity into the sky, supporting a divine realm of pure land, spanning countless ages, illuminating the three realms and ten directions.On this day,All martial artists under heaven look up to it, like mayflies seeing the blue sky.......“Within there is a bodhi tree, which I planted when I set foot in martial arts, and now it has grown to provide a canopy.”“I see everything in the world, and nothing is like me.”“That year, I scoured history books, this history without era, I looked horizontally and vertically, and saw those characters – ‘The world’s storms come from us.’”...— Excerpt from the autobiography of Ji Jingqiu, the proud sun of the martial arts world of today.