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... ttle as my straw drew up an especially sour bit of lemon. I coughed. "So, in essence, ’magic’," I made little quotation marks with my fingers, "is more-or-less real."

"More-or-less."

"And magical creatures too."

"It’s a bit of a paranormal spectrum, but yes."

I sat back in the restaurant booth. The whole thing, table and ’chair’ were made of a wood that creaked and warped at my every move. I stopped moving. Around us the restaurant had nearly completely cleared ou ...

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Travel through the world of martial arts, get a god-level kidnapping system, and vow to be the number one kidnapper in the universe.

As long as you don’t want to tie it, there is nothing you can’t tie!

Guo Jing, your daughter has been kidnapped by Lao Tzu. If you don’t want me to do anything to her, you can exchange it with Jiuyin Zhenjing and Eighteen Palms of Subduing Dragon!

What, so obedient?

Then I’ll give you a grandson for free.

…………

Yang Guo, your aunt was kidnapped by Lao Tzu. If she knew the face, she would have cut up her own little penis!

What? Yin Zhiping, do you want to cut too?

Well, I will send you a dragon-slaying knife, cut iron like mud, and guarantee that there will be no pain!

…………

Duan Zhengchun, your wife and daughter have been tied up by Lao Tzu, hurry up and hand over all the martial arts secrets of Yi Yang Finger, Six Meridian Divine Sword, etc., and then kill yourself!

What? Want to have sex with your wives again before you die?

Fuck you, they have been scolded by Lao Tzu “Japanese…

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