Spy Mage System - Chapter 60

During the Chunin Exams, a mysterious screen hijacks Konoha's arena, broadcasting the shinobi world's most shocking secrets, pivotal future events, and utterly embarrassing moments, sending Kages, legends, and genin alike into a hilarious frenzy.The air crackles with anticipation during Konoha's Chunin Exams. Genin face off, crowds roar... and then, BAM!A gigantic projection screen materializes out of thin air above the packed arena, silencing everyone. This is not on the schedule. Before anyone can react, it flickers to life, broadcasting scenes that should never see the light of day.Get ready for reactions that rewrite history (and dignity):Mei Terumi (Fifth Mizukage): *Eyes widening, then narrowing suspiciously*: “Hold on... Madara Uchiha's 'invincible' fire style... extinguished by a Water Barrier? Is this some kind of advanced Genjutsu prank, or did someone seriously just splash water on the apocalypse?”Ōnoki (Third Tsuchikage): *Clutching his lower back*: “My aching joints! And the screen says I'm going to willingly ride atop the Fourth Raikage like some kind of... decrepit flying squirrel?! Preposterous! My back couldn't take that speed!”A (Fourth Raikage): *Face turning purple, with veins popping* :“WHO IS RESPONSIBLE FOR THIS?! STOP LOOPING THE FOOTAGE OF MINATO MAKING BEE LOOK LIKE A FOOL! TURN IT OFF! BEE, IF YOU START RAPPING TO THIS, I SWEAR I'LL LARIAT YOU INTO NEXT WEEK!”(Nearby, Killer Bee subtly starts beatboxing under his breath, yo!)Hiruzen Sarutobi (Third Hokage): *Sweating profusely as Kushina Uzumaki glares daggers from the stands, holding a spectral frying pan*: “K-Kushina, my dear! That scene where Naruto painted the Hokage Monument... again... it was taken completely out of context! He was... expressing youthful exuberance! Yes! And I definitely didn't bribe him with ramen to clean it up! Please, listen to reason... and put the ethereal kitchenware down?”Danzō Shimura: *Eyes colder than ice*: “Exposing Root operations? Revealing my contingency plans... or lack thereof in that particular future? Unacceptable. This screen poses a threat to Konoha's stability. It must be... Eliminated Permanently.” (He discreetly signals an Anbu who immediately bowed).Uchiha Madara (From an undisclosed location, sensing a disturbance in the Force... err, Chakra) : “An unseen hand manipulating the narrative? Revealing destiny's secrets before their time? Insolence! Who dares play director with my grand stage?!”From Kage summits gone wrong to legendary shinobi's secret guilty pleasures (did Jiraiya really wear that?), the screen reveals all.The entire shinobi world watches, mouths agape. Hidden truths are dragged into the sunlight, future tragedies are foreshadowed, alliances tremble, and enemies start taking very detailed notes.One question burns hotter than Amaterasu: 'Who is behind this chaotic broadcast, and what earth-shattering secret will they expose next.'

I was left paralyzed with only a month to live, but that “9-inch” part of me was still hard as a rock. Even the sickly beautiful schoolgirl couldn't resist my “pecker,” and to fulfill my dying wish, my sister even dressed up as a lady in black stockings to teach me how to “drill.” What's more outrageous, the hospital nurses wanted to make a little movie with me, lining up with the head nurse at the front...Just after coming out of the emergency room, I saw the system panel:Name: Ethan JonesGender: MaleLength: 9 inchesSkill: Hard as a Rock LV1Note: Peak human hardnessDying Wish: To caress auntie's sheer black stockingsTask Reward Points: 1000 pointsDespite my strength and stamina attributes being only at 1, and my agility at 0, only my “pecker” could lift the heavy blanket while doing squats. My face was full of question marks—what kind of bug is this system? Just because I like looking at auntie's legs, did it give me such a special skill?Now, I have no choice. I must complete tasks to earn points and add attribute points.However, the story actually begins 12 hours earlier...

Kubei was just an ordinary pencil and button pusher working a day job, hating his boss and making horrible speeches when one day he fell asleep after pushing an all-nighter. When he woke up, he was bound to a chair, facing three creepy robed women and in a body way too young and way too weak to be his own. As he slowly came to, he realized that he was no longer in the same universe as he was before. He had teleported to the Kingdom of Helius, where an all-powerful church rules its lands and wages war against the elusive group known only as Mages. Armed with an incredibly cocky neural interface that just won’t shut up and his own sheer wit, our MC will find himself not just fighting to survive, but maybe even something bigger than himself.

"Bowzer, we'll stop here for the night."