Shadowborne Ascension - Chapter 25: Silence

I am Racist.…I mean, my name is Racis T.I was a stand-up comedian. The flop kind. The type who only got laughs when someone else was roasting him.One night, I was doing a gig at a shady, run-down bar—the kind where tattooed bikers drink motor oil for breakfast. I went in with my usual dark humor, but my jokes were getting the same reaction as my dating profile: complete silence.That didn’t sit right with my inner artist, who was already starving to death. So I did what any committed comedian would—I went darker.Turns out, one of my jokes (or all of them?) triggered a guy so hard that he pulled a trigger. Headshot. Instant death.But hey, look at this: A guy got triggered, so he pulled the trigger. That’s wordplay. But who cares? I’m dead anyway.All I wanted was a successful show, people laughing, and maybe a few girls swooning over my wit. I never cared about money. The millions I’d have made would have gone to charity—specifically, 0.001% of it. See? I’m generous like that.Anyway, death is death. My story should’ve ended there.But… if there is an afterlife, I had a simple wish: become a successful comedian, find a loving wife, and have just enough money to afford three meals a day… and maybe a humble little private yacht. Or a jet. But that’s it. Because, like I said, I don’t care about money.Unfortunately, wishes don’t work that way.Because, well—there was an afterlife.And it was absolutely not what I wished for.

Your fingers become golden fingers.

You touched the Jiuyang Divine Skill with your golden finger, and you learned the Jiuyang Divine Art.

You used your golden finger to touch the eighteen palms for subduing the dragon, and you learned the eighteen palms for subduing the dragon.

You touched the magic of the wedding dress with your golden finger, and you learned the magic of the wedding dress.

You feel that your skills are progressing slowly, so you meet a liar who sells powerful pills.

You touch the Dali Pill with your golden finger, and the Dali Pill becomes the True-Dali Pill.

You touched Melatonin with your golden finger, and Melatonin became a brain pill.

You touched the Liushen toilet water with your golden finger, and the Liushen toilet water made it into a brewed flower.

You touched Yunnan Baiyao with your golden finger, and Yunnan Baiyao turned into Xiao Huan Dan.

……

So you started to collect all kinds of fake cheats, drink toilet water, eat Melatonin, and Dali pills… Your life also started to take off.

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- Description from novelbuddy

“Come here, little one!” “No way!”

What to do when the wife is angry? The big-shot CEO is filthy rich, showering her with extravagant displays of love every day! Today a luxury car, tomorrow a mansion, the day after a private jet…

In a media interview: “What was the most expensive gift you have given your wife?” “So far, our son!” “You treat your wife so well, she must surely love you!” CEO laughs confidently, “Without a doubt!”

Arriving home, his delicate wife throws a divorce contract at him, “Dongfang Yu, sign this!”

“Hai Xiaotang, all you think about is divorce. Don’t think I can’t handle you!” The CEO, full of fury, cracks his knuckles, “A washboard, an abacus, a keyboard, a durian…choose one!”

“Durian!” The CEO ends up kneeling on the durian with a thud!

**CAUTION: CONTAINS ELEMENT OF TABOO,I Dreamed of Cultivation... and Got Homework Instead!“Ah, reincarnation into a xianxia world! Time to wield swords, shoot qi bullets, and become the overlord of the heavens!”At least, that’s what Lin Mao thought would happen. Instead, he woke up in a scholar’s robe, surrounded by ink-stained fingers and people debating... philosophy.“This isn’t the path to immortality! This is the path to finals!”Now Lin Mao has to navigate his life in the prestigious Sky Moon Sect, where flying on swords is nothing but a dream. The only thing flying is debates and enlightenment that comes from philosophy, not martial arts.Instead of fighting demonic beasts, he's fighting grumpy senior brothers, mysterious sect elders, and his master that has a.......long beard.“Who needs qi cultivation when you have the ‘Path of Society’? What does that even mean?!And why does everyone here hate jokes?!”Filled with nothing but Earth’s most degenerate novels, his unhinged personality, and his special ability to accidentally piss people off, Lin Mao is determined to shake up the scholar world.He might not be a cultivator, but who says he can’t make being a scholar legendary?“This isn’t the dream I signed up for, but whatever. If they are going to make me study, I’ll do it my way!”****This novel will be story-focused, blending humor, character development, and world-building. However, it will also include R18 elements with detailed smut for those who enjoy a little spice in their story. You’ve been warned!***[ Tags ]R-18 | Mature | Adult | Smut | Harem | Ecchi | Hentai | NSFW | Netori | Blowjob | Anal | Sex | Threesome | Foursome | Hardcore | Feet | Thick | Thicc | Loli | Milf | Gilf | Young & Mature | Choking | Out doors | Humiliation | Bdsm | Fetish | Action | Handsome MC | Weak to Strong MC | Comedy | Wise