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... ng against my face. The smell hit me first—sharp and ammonia-like. It wasn't quite piss, but it was close enough to make me question my life choices.

Scratch that; I already knew my life choices had been questionable. Now, apparently, someone had decided to suffocate me for them.

I tried to move, but my body, my old, brittle body, wasn't having any of it. My hands fumbled beneath the thin hospital sheets, weak and slow, grasping at the edges of whatever was smothering me. It was ...

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Most people don't choose reincarnation.

Reincarnation finds their way to them.

Perhaps they did something great in their life.

Or maybe truck-sama wasn't looking where it was going.

But without fail, those who reincarnate are destined for something great.

A new life where everything changes for the better.

But...

Reincarnation isn't always the greatest thing.

Sometimes you just draw the short end of the stick.

Di Tou just happens to have drawn the shortest stick.

Pulled out of his life randomly.

Taken by a crazy old eccentric man not as a disciple, but as a body double?!

And a janitor body double no less?!

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Truly, how unlucky can one get?

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“By pushing light into darkness, I obtained incredible power. By sucking the essence of life, I became an immortal monster.”

He was dressed in a sacred cloak. Singing commands to the horde of demons.

“Yes, even if this might be my fall, I’d die either way!”

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The Cheng family finally found the real daughter who had been wandering the streets. Cheng Ling, the fake daughter who had been wrongly adopted for eighteen years, instantly became the family’s joke.

The real heiress was very domineering and the fake heiress was soon despised by the family.

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The world’s top medical expert: “May I know where Miss Cheng Ling, who was kicked out of the house, is? I begged her for a long time and she finally agreed to give me a chance to meet her.”

International idol Best Actor Tang: “Miss Cheng Ling, can you sell me another grape? Just one will do. After eating your grape, my voice is getting much more beautiful.”

The famous godfather of the Mafia said, “Miss Cheng Ling, can you sell me one of your cucumbers? I was seriously injured in my early years and it’s hard for me to recover. Only your cucumbers can save me.”

Soon, everyone realized that almost all the rich and powerful families in the world had a favor to ask of the fake daughter, Cheng Ling. As long as she said a word, those rich and powerful people would be willing to do anything for her.

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Cheng Ling: “Stay away from me, don’t get in the way of my farming.”