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"My dear customer, your order of Moo Moo Milk, berries, rock salt, honey, and other farm goods has been dispatched. You should receive it in about twenty minutes," Naoki said with a smile, mimicking the polite tone of customer service he had seen in his past life.

Iono suddenly felt a twinge of guilt but kept up her act. "Huh? Naoki, what are you talking about? I don't understand."

Naoki: "…"

"Alright, enough pretending. ...

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I was sixteen when the gods abandoned me.The Blessing Ritual was supposed to grant me power, a divine gift to carve my future. Instead, I received nothing. No abilities. No hope. Just another nameless soul left to rot in a world ruled by strength.Fine. If the gods wouldn’t bless me, I’d make my own power.For ten years, I clawed my way forward, experimenting with forces no human should touch. I pushed too far—and it killed me.Then I woke up.Sixteen again. Back at the Ritual. But this time, something changed.Time bends at my will. Blood moves when I command it.The gods still won’t acknowledge me, but it doesn’t matter. This world isn’t fair, and I’ve stopped playing by its rules. Faith and Chaos clash in my veins, and I will use them both.They wanted a Chosen Hero, someone to dance to their tune.Well, too bad for them—I’ll carve my own fate.

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Some people transmigrate into Emperors, others become wangye.

They live in luxury; their hands covering the Heavens.

Some people transmigrate into shizuns, or sect leaders.

They would have the respect of all, their powers supernatural.

Some unlucky souls become villains, but even with their terrible reputations they would still have enough power to summon rain from the sky, maybe even manage to kill off the protagonist.

But Li Changtian, a stand up young man from a good family, who died on the battlefield protecting someone, widened his eyes.

He! Transmigrated!

Into a person everyone wanted dead, with an unabsolvable crime!

Li Changtian: “??? Wait wait, did something go wrong somewhere?”

The magistrate of the Imperial Justice Bureau, Yan Shu, who hated injustice more than anything in the world had just stepped onto his head and said in an ice cold voice: “A life for a life.”

Li Changtian: “&%%%¥&¥#@”

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There once was a very popular question on the internet:

If one morning, you woke up and realized that your gender had changed, what would be your first reaction?

And someone on the internet had famously responded:

First, give your bros a good time!

Su Jian remembered that when he saw this reply, he had slapped the table to express his admiration. What a good bro! Such loyalty!

But now that he actually encountered this strange situation himself, he could only feel an extremely ball-breaking alarm, shocked grief, and frightened anger. **** your mom! Ah, ****! **** it!

Oh, a correction. The above is grammatically incorrect. After all, poor Classmate Su Jian doesn’t have balls anymore.

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In short: an old lover gave me a little piglet.

Qin Zhuopu, a workaholic, has been single for many years. As he reaches middle age, his family is desperate for a child.

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“Mr. Qin, your son is already in primary school!”

“???” I have only had one boyfriend!

Seven years after the breakup, the old lover returned to the wealthy family with a little fat pig in his arms: “Zaizai is a big eater, I can’t feed him. Zaizai’s primary school homework is too difficult, I can’t do it. I’ll give you guardianship from now on! Will you let me go to your construction site to move bricks? Son, say ‘Mommy’!”

Mr. Qin: (No, I couldn’t give birth to such a fat kid!)

Later…

Onlookers: I heard that Mr. Qin has adopted an illegitimate child born to his old lover by some woman?

Mr. Qin: Let me introduce to you, this is my own cub!

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