Mythology Rebooted - Chapter 728 - 291: The Essence of Life, Pale Knight

Question: “When one summer day, you find a cucumber inexplicably appearing on the vagin of a beautiful woman in the living room, how should you save her?” “A. Pull it out” “B. Suck it out” “C.**********” Years later, when Li remembered this scene again, he hated himself for not choosing C... --------- “Yikes, what’s pressing against me?” Meng Lin instinctively exclaimed, immediately looked down, and upon seeing the alarming outline, she exclaimed in surprise, “Qianfan, why did you put your white cane inside your pants? Are you afraid someone will steal it? Let sister-in-law help you take it out!” With that said, Meng Lin reached out her hand… ------ “Sister-in-law, were you masturbating yourself?” Li Qianfan pretended to be shocked. “A cucumber has fallen inside my vagin, can you help me get it out?” No wonder his sister-in-law looked so thirsty; it was because she was often unsatisfied. “Sister-in-law, don’t cry, I’ll help you get it out right now!” After offering comfort, Li Qianfan placed his palm on Meng Lin’s thigh and began moving slowly towards the place where the cucumber was submerged……

Roland died and transmigrated into the body of the third son of a Baron. Having reincarnated, at first he looked forward to the grace of the system or any other golden finger; alas, it seemed not everyone was lucky.In the end, he accepted that those were fantasies, whereas this was reality.Being the third son, he couldn't inherit land according to laws; however, he had a bit of warrior aptitude suitable to become a knight.Knowing that this might cause trouble in succession later, his father enrolled him in the army.Several years later, he became a 3rd-rank knight in the Beginner Stage and was going to be promoted but was injured when he tried to save the commander of his battalion.Amidst that, he received shocking news about his family's demise due to a monster tide, leaving him alone to inherit the barony.Weighing the pros and cons, he decided to escape from the risky venture and settle in a poor backwater barony village to lead a peaceful life; however...Just when he thought it was over, he awakened the Children's Blessing System.[Host's child detected, Family System activated.][Begin testing the child's aptitude.]“What, for real?”

If you had a golden apple, who would you give it to?Invited to the banquet, Luo En saw the golden apple in the plate inscribed with “To the fairest goddess” and the three goddesses embroiled in dispute before him, and he picked up a knife with a smug smile.The first step, peeling; he gave the skin to Aphrodite.“To be fair, you're quite pretty. As a layer of skin, you're not bad to look at.”The second step, slicing the flesh; he gave that to Hera.“As the queen of heaven, yet everyone in Olympus from 800-year-olds to animals has cuckolded you, including males, females, and even sheep. Since you can't save face anyway, take these insides.”The third step, he gave the remaining core to Athena.“You were supposed to be born a male god and take over Zeus's position, but due to Zeus's shenanigans, you lost that seed, so here, have this core.”Aphrodite clenched her fists, Hera raised her scepter, Athena summoned her spear and shield...Seeing this, Luo En quickly stepped back, shielding the goddess of discord, Eris, firmly in front of him.“And you still want to be the goddess of discord? Look at me; I got them to unite at once, even better than you with your instigation.”“...”Surrounded by Greek gods sharpening their knives, Eris was left in silence.

In a world of shallow-minded, materialistic mortals, what would one from humble beginnings – whose face had been stomped on, spat on, oppressed for the longest while by the arrogant, pampered upper echelons of society – do, when a mysterious application pops up on a brand new phone that was meant to be the birthday gift of an ungrateful girlfriend? What if the application takes the form of a chatroom where its occupants, bearing the names of mythical, fictional beings, start giving out ‘Red Packets’, all the while spouting nonsense?