MTL - Certificate of Conformity - Chapter 87

Question: “When one summer day, you find a cucumber inexplicably appearing on the vagin of a beautiful woman in the living room, how should you save her?” “A. Pull it out” “B. Suck it out” “C.**********” Years later, when Li remembered this scene again, he hated himself for not choosing C... --------- “Yikes, what’s pressing against me?” Meng Lin instinctively exclaimed, immediately looked down, and upon seeing the alarming outline, she exclaimed in surprise, “Qianfan, why did you put your white cane inside your pants? Are you afraid someone will steal it? Let sister-in-law help you take it out!” With that said, Meng Lin reached out her hand… ------ “Sister-in-law, were you masturbating yourself?” Li Qianfan pretended to be shocked. “A cucumber has fallen inside my vagin, can you help me get it out?” No wonder his sister-in-law looked so thirsty; it was because she was often unsatisfied. “Sister-in-law, don’t cry, I’ll help you get it out right now!” After offering comfort, Li Qianfan placed his palm on Meng Lin’s thigh and began moving slowly towards the place where the cucumber was submerged……

He rose from hardship, but was felled by betrayal. From then on, one man, one gun; treads the path between Evernight and Daybreak to became a legend. No matter what was destined to be his fate, he intends to become the ruler who dictates.

I see dead people.But hey, it’s the zombie apocalypse, everyone is seeing dead people, including a blind girl. It’s not like I am that special.For a while, I thought I was going to be Cinderella, complete with the cruel stepfamily and the little mice for helpers. But instead of mice, I got demons from hell with a taste for chaos.Then again, there is nothing wrong with a little chaos in the middle of the apocalypse. It’s what makes life worth living.Unfortunately for others, they don’t quite see it that way. You see, I have a gift. One that isn’t exactly mine, but I can use it however I see fit.My gift is granting wishes.I'm a genie without a bottle, but it would be nice if people appreciated me more. All the humans ask for is the same thing… more food here, shelter there, kill these people, torture those. And I do it all, for a small price.I don’t ask for money or food, I can get that on my own. No, I want favors, souls, something that means everything for the other person. And they give it to me. Their momentary desire worth their long term happiness.But by the time they discover that, I’m long gone, already moved on to my next… client.I know I look young, starvation and abuse will do that to a girl. Humans tell me that I shouldn’t be wandering out there alone. Some try to help me… most don’t. But whoever said I was by myself? Just because others couldn’t see them didn’t mean my demons ever left. I still hear their voices in my head, whispering words of encouragement and love. For them, I’d do anything. Kill anyone. Destroy anything.After all, life is just a game, right? Those still alive at the end of the day were the lucky ones. Those who died were not. Everything is just a game of chance, all a human has to do is roll the dice.My only word of advice is to be careful what you wish for… you just might get it.My name is Hattie, welcome to my world.Would you like a cup of tea?

Elyzara Thorne was just an ordinary woman until she died in the dumbest way possible. One moment she was walking down the street, the next, she was choking on a piece of candy and face-planting into the afterlife. Before she could even process her own stupidity, a snarky system appeared and dumped her into the body of a newborn baby.Sounds bad? Oh, it gets worse.Her new moms are the most terrifying tyrants the world has ever seen two ridiculously powerful empresses who rule with an iron fist, burn cities for fun, and make their enemies weep in fear. The entire kingdom is one bad day away from rebellion, and Elyzara’s new mission (whether she likes it or not) is to stop these two overpowered warlords from getting themselves overthrown.The problem?• She’s a literal infant.• Her moms worship the ground she drools on and think she’s the best thing since world domination.• Everyone around her is scared shitless of her “divine presence,” making diplomacy nearly impossible.Can Elyzara stop her bloodthirsty parents from committing war crimes before she’s old enough to walk? Or is she doomed to be the adorable mascot of tyranny?