Master, This Poor Disciple Died Again Today - Chapter 559: Phoenix Flame

Question: “When one summer day, you find a cucumber inexplicably appearing on the vagin of a beautiful woman in the living room, how should you save her?” “A. Pull it out” “B. Suck it out” “C.**********” Years later, when Li remembered this scene again, he hated himself for not choosing C... --------- “Yikes, what’s pressing against me?” Meng Lin instinctively exclaimed, immediately looked down, and upon seeing the alarming outline, she exclaimed in surprise, “Qianfan, why did you put your white cane inside your pants? Are you afraid someone will steal it? Let sister-in-law help you take it out!” With that said, Meng Lin reached out her hand… ------ “Sister-in-law, were you masturbating yourself?” Li Qianfan pretended to be shocked. “A cucumber has fallen inside my vagin, can you help me get it out?” No wonder his sister-in-law looked so thirsty; it was because she was often unsatisfied. “Sister-in-law, don’t cry, I’ll help you get it out right now!” After offering comfort, Li Qianfan placed his palm on Meng Lin’s thigh and began moving slowly towards the place where the cucumber was submerged……

Lin Jiufeng transmigrates to become the Yuhua God Dynasty’s Crown Prince but is dethroned, banished to the Cold Palace, and imprisoned there because he had released the holy maiden of their rival country.

Lin Jiufeng isn’t dejected. He has brought a sign-in system with him when he transmigrated and he would receive rewards when he signs in at different places.

Before the Cold Palace’s gates, he signs in and receives the Ultimate Heaven Slashing Sword Skill!

In the Great Council Hall, he signs in and receives the Heaven Patching Technique!

In the Empress Dowager’s palace, he signs in and receives the God of War Totem!

…

Liu Jiufeng imagines that he can quietly sign in like this until he becomes invincible. Yet who would have imagined that the Heavenly Concubine whom he secretly released would rise in rebellion and seize power after she returns to her country?

After she succeeds, her first priority is to attack the Yuhua God Dynasty to rescue Lin Jiufeng.

When Liu Jiufeng hears of this news, he’s puzzled. «Do I need you to rescue me?»

What is the most painful thing in life? What is the happiest thing in life?

The most painful thing was that after untold hardships, for that small glory at the end but was returned back to the starting point in just one night.

The happiest thing was that after returning back to the starting point, without doing anything, was able to become overpowered overnight.

Zhou Jian in just one day, experienced his life most painful and happiest thing.

The most painful thing was his painstakingly raised professional Thief game account in the online world was “lost” by the system.

The happiest thing was the reason behind his game account loss. The Thief from his game account had appeared in the real world. And become a controllable God of Thieves.

In short, this is a relaxing YY (tl: Chinese slang for light perversion) story, full of plots where playing the pig to eat the tiger. The protagonist is a very righteous young man. Occasionally, he will be wicked but also because he was forced by the author….

- Description from Novelupdates

A hundred thousand years ago, there was a great war between cultivators. Immortals fell by the tens of thousands, the path of cultivation itself was severed, and after the dust settled, tombs forested the world.

A hundred thousand years after the last legend faded, Lu Yun, commandant of tomb raiders, descends upon the world. Armed with the Book of Life and Death, he has some burning questions to answer.

……

“This isn’t how you raid a tomb!” Lu Yun smirked at the cultivators frantically scurrying about the ancient tomb. “Do you want me to teach you?”

……

But ah, can someone teach him how to cure his new body’s erectile dysfunction?