I Will Kill The Author - Chapter 1: Prologue

Joseph Sullivan is at an all-time low. He lost his job, his fiancée dumped him, he moved back to the Midwest and currently lives in his parent’s basement—oh, and his workout was just interrupted with the arrival of the System.Earth has become a playing field in a contest amongst the gods, where mortals are the pawns. The winning god gets the glory, and their chosen champion gets a single wish. The first stage of this game: Tutorial – Class Selection.Provided the ideal stat array for a physical, combat-focused class, the choice for Joe is obvious. Until he fat thumbs the selection screen and ends up selecting Spellcaster. His starting Intelligence stat? 1.With a useless class selection and only his raw testosterone-fueled strength to back him up, Joe decides class optimization is for dummies. Pumping all stat points in Strength, he hopes to not only survive the contest of the gods, but to win the whole damned thing.After all, a real wizard should be measured by how much they can bench!

Zhao Zhitong, who was still in kindergarten, took her parents and a family of three to cross the time-travel. As soon as she crossed, she was kicked out of the house by her cruel step-grandmother.

Looking at the only two cabbages in the family, Zhao’s father and Zhao’s mother looked sad.

Zhao Zhitong blinked a pair of Kazilan’s big eyes, and took out a bag of rice from the space with a bewildered expression…

So, the five-year-old little Mengbao took his parents to start farming, planting flowers, fruit trees, medicinal herbs, opening a shop, opening a restaurant…

The small life is beautiful, but it must be even more beautiful if there is no one who is wholeheartedly seeking her to be his wife.

- Description from novelbuddy

I reincarnated with e*otic game skills, but this is apparently an apocalyptic dark fantasy. I can’t die, so I tried to save the world with e*otic game skills… “Saint! Save us!!” “Saint! Save us!!!” People keep calling me a saint.

What is my 1000-year-old monster self to do when I’ve failed my immortal ascension? Time travel — accidentally — and wind up back in my 9-year-old body, needing to re-cultivate, of course. But after that? Get REVENGE! Muahahahaha! But the idiot who killed me — also accidentally — was the main character of the dumb harem Xianxia I transmigrated into. But wait. Wasn’t he only 7 or 8 at this point in time? Well, since I can’t harm a child or the main character without suffering in some way, then I’ll just have to raise him better, faster, stronger, and loyal! Muahahahaha!