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[May 9]

Last night I lost control; it was the first time I felt fear, fear that I would harm Huilan just like I did to those maids before.

Upon waking and seeing Huilan unharmed, I held her and cried for a long time.

Why was I born a freak? Why can’t I be a normal person like Huilan?

I loathe myself, I don’t want to continue living like this.

In the past, I lived through gritted teeth because of hate; I wanted my existence to be a thorn in t ...

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