Etsusa Bridge - Volume 3, Chapter 2-B: Armchair Defective

Six months ago, tens of thousands of black phantom towers appeared all over the world, floating above the cities. Chemists, physicists, religious people… all of them could do nothing.

I opened my eyes to find myself in another world. For some odd reason, I ended up as a sword. Before my eyes laid a plain full of magic beasts, and so, I launched my body and flew in search of a partner, a wielder (females only). Wait. Absorbing magic stones gets me skills? Oh hell yeah! This be fun! More, more, give me more! Gimme all your magic stones! Okay, yeah no, but I am accepting anything anyone’s willing to give. This tale is one that follows your everyday nerd, normal as could be, save for the fact that he happened to reincarnate as a sword.

Among the demons, the supreme ones are called “Great Saints.”

A young man leaves his mountain village and travels around the world. By unceasing efforts, he finally becomes a legend of the age.

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My end was not majestic, my beginning was not beautiful, but I will make damn sure that I rise once more. No more shall I bend a knee, no more shall I hide, no more shall I cower. No more shall the light guild my path, for only Darkness remains.

***

Killed by the universe's greatest killer, Truck-Kun. My existence was twisted as I gazed up at King-Yama, staring down at me with revulsion, “You sick bastard, you ate people.” He bellowed, glaring at me with disgust.

Snorting, I gathered my courage raising my head high and proud, my voice carrying a hint of pride, “So what, have you ever tried it...Let me ask you, have you ever had sex.”

A bewildered expression hung on his rugged appearance as he absentmindedly nodded. A slight smirk crossed my face as I declared, “then have you ate ass,”

“WHAT!!!” He balled in panic, shivering like a guilty man on trial.

“HAHA, you call me disgusting, but it appears you were sucking ass, now that is truly disgusting. I don't judge, but if you ask me, I will stick to cannibalism.”

“THAT NOT A FAIR COMPARISON, YOU LITTLE SHIT,”