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... the injuries that reminded him of his lack of power. Although he wanted to be stronger, he believed that rushing wouldn't be beneficial to him. 'That's right, slowly, my strength increases whenever I am with those girls, but if I rush, those dark feelings become too strong.'
The feelings he meant were the instincts and feelings that were restricted after the ceremony when he was a child. Nikolai wanted to be strong but didn't like the idea of those dark feelings controlling and affecting ...
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