This is why, from start to finish, An Liyang always skirts around the topic when confronting her, never directly facing: "The things I should know, the things I shouldn’t know, I know them all, including the fears buried deep within your heart."

As Xi Xilan heard this, her face looked increasingly unpleasant, but there was a hint of fear clearly visible. She pointed at the person in front of her in disbelief: "You... you... how exactly did you know?"

She had hidden that secret very well; apart from a few key people, others had no chance of knowing it. And the person in front of her was just a small child back then; she deliberately avoided him. How could he possibly know?

Instantly, Xi Xilan thought of this and kept shaking her head: "Impossible, definitely impossible, you can’t possibly know."

An Liyang continued with a cold smile at the corner of his mouth, rebutting disdainfully: "As they say, there’s no wall that doesn’t have ears, how can you be sure? All your conversations were unheard by others."

An Liyang said this, and the former looked at him with a sudden realization: "You eavesdropped on my conversation with your grandfather."

The words were so certain; she had thought of countless possibilities, and indeed this seemed to be the most likely one.

This time An Liyang did not deny it; he continued to nod: "Yes, I heard your conversation in the study, but I found you all shameless indeed, to commit such acts."

The moment he learned the secret, his mind went blank; he didn’t know how to face An Nan next, as if everything suddenly became hopeless. That’s when his heart began to twist, continuously to the present, never returning to normal.

Sometimes he doubts whether he is still a normal person. Only when he feels the familiar heartbeat by putting his hand over his heart does he confirm he is alive, albeit living numbly. During countless nights, countless dark nights, he truly felt exhausted, utterly exhausted.

Were it not for a shred of belief supporting him, he estimated he would have long gone.

Having such a mom he can’t describe with words only made it harder for him to face her, possibly leading him to keep avoiding.

He fears one day he would become a tool in her hands again, so he dared not return nor wanted to return. Over these years, he still has to come back temporarily, but before returning, he had little hope. He feared the greater the hope, the greater the disappointment. 𝐟𝚛𝕖𝚎𝕨𝗲𝐛𝚗𝐨𝐯𝐞𝕝.𝐜𝗼𝗺

The final reality and his hypothesis are exactly the same. Everything feels as ephemeral as smoke and clouds; nothing can return.

Including the girl who would sweetly call him Brother, she can’t return either.

It’s false to say he’s not disappointed deep down, but what can be done? Everything can’t be changed by him alone, others’ lack of cooperation dooms him to a life of solo performance.

The person who caused his lifetime of suffering is none other than this woman before him, his biological mother, the woman who gave him life, so he hates her more. If being born meant no love, he’d rather never have come to this world, and he feels no gratitude for her giving him life.