The Yellow-Haired Villain in Soaring Phoenix's Novels Also Desires Happiness
Chapter 39: A Maid Who Can Cook Always Gets Bonus Points
“Young Master, it’s time to eat.”
With Anne’s gentle voice, Muen’s eyes fluttered open.
Her tone was so soft, so tender, it made Muen feel like he’d returned to the past—to the days when he still slept on a grand, plush bed, waking each morning to Anne’s quiet summons.
But that time was long gone.
Now, Muen was imprisoned in a cage. And beneath his bare ass was steel colder than his heart.
“How long has it been?”
He looked up at Anne, exhaustion flashing through his eyes.
“It’s been a whole night.”
Anne set the meal box down in front of him with a faint laugh.
“Did Young Master sleep well?”
“What do you think?!”
Muen yanked at the shackles on his wrists, sneering.
“How about you take these damn chains off me, bring in a two-meter bed, velvet blankets, and down pillows—then maybe I’ll ‘sleep well’ one day. Instead of being butt-naked on freezing steel!”
“I’m afraid I can’t grant that request,” Anne said sweetly, “If I let you slip away by accident, I’d be ever so heartbroken.”
“I’m just a spoiled young master you’ve pampered into uselessness. Do I really deserve this level of treatment? Even death row inmates don’t have it this bad!”
“It never hurts to be cautious.”
Anne gently opened the food box and began taking out breakfast.
“You seemed a little worn out yesterday, so I made a special tonic soup for you: Perfect Ten Nourishment Soup.”
“Perfect Ten Nourishment?”
“Mhm. I saw the recipe in a book once. It’s made with tiger penis, ox penis, goblin penis, troll penis, and the most important—Molorita Giant Bear penis. It’s said to be especially effective for men.”
“...What the hell is a Molorita Giant Bear?” Muen’s face paled.
“A type of magical beast,” Anne said with a straight face. “When a male Molorita Bear goes into heat and can’t find a mate, the entire forest ends up filled with tree holes by morning. So people call them Treehole Bears.” 𝒻𝘳ℯℯ𝑤ℯ𝒷𝘯ℴ𝓋ℯ𝘭.𝑐ℴ𝑚
“Tree... holes...”
Muen didn’t even want to know how those got there.
He watched, stiff as a board, as Anne’s delicate hands twisted the lid off the container and poured out a steaming, inky black broth with an almost physical stench.
For some reason, watching it pour into the bowl made his heart tremble like it was trying to crawl away.
“You’re sure this shit is edible?”
“Of course!”
Anne smiled. “You didn’t know? I’ve been sneaking little bits of it into your food ever since you turned ten. Just in small doses, considering your age.”
“WHAT?”
Muen’s face twisted.
“Since ten?!”
That meant he’d been drinking this so-called Perfect Ten Soup for eight damn years!
“Got to plan ahead,” Anne said cheerfully. “Honestly, I wanted to add dragon penis too, but dragons are a bit tricky to catch. Maybe next time.”
“Could you not talk about hunting dragons like it’s a trip to the market? I’m getting scared here!”
“There’s nothing to be scared of, Young Master,” Anne replied with an innocent smile. “As long as you behave, I’d never hurt you.”
She brought the bowl to him and held the spoon to his lips.
“Come now. Say ah—”
“I’m not drinking that!”
Muen shook his head, dodging the spoon like it was poisoned.
God knows what kind of side effects could come from drinking this crap for too long! Maybe the original host had been such an idiot because of this soup!
“You won’t?”
Anne’s smiling face suddenly stiffened.
She leaned in close, eyes locking with Muen’s from inches away.
And in those mesmerizing eyes... Muen saw something black, something deep, like an abyss ready to devour him whole.
“You’re sure?”
There was no threat in her tone.
But Muen could practically feel the edge of a machete pressing against his chest. One wrong answer, and his heart would be skewered before he could blink.
“N-no, I’ll drink it. I’ll drink it.”
He chuckled nervously, nodding and leaning forward to slurp the spoonful of soup.
A real man knows when to bend. It was just some weird soup, wasn’t it? He’d already been drinking it for eight years. What’s one more bowl?
...Huh. Not bad, actually. Tastes kinda good.
...
...
After spooning the entire bowl into Muen’s mouth, Anne suddenly stood.
Before Muen could process what was happening, her maid uniform fluttered to the ground—revealing her snow-white body.
“Again?!”
Muen’s eyes bulged in horror.
“It’s only been a few hours!”
Anne hadn’t even worn underwear.
She’d been planning this!
“Can’t help it.”
Anne licked her lips and crawled slowly toward him, eyes glinting with heat.
“I need to leave something on Young Master... something that proves you’re mine~”
“You evil woman, stay back—mmph!”
“Mmm... °• N 𝑜 v 𝑒 l i g h t •° for someone saying no, your body’s being very honest~”
“I-I’m not—”
“Really? Then why are you moving your hips, hm~?”
“D-Dammit—!”
...
Two hours later.
...
Anne, satisfied, redressed herself while Muen lay staring blankly at the ceiling—eyes glazed over, like a maiden ruined by scoundrels and stripped of all hope in life.
Perhaps realizing she’d gone a bit too far, Anne crouched beside him, resting her cheek in her hand with a hint of apology.
“Looks like I may have overdone it this time, huh.”
“...”
Muen shot her a death glare, saying nothing.
“To see Young Master like this... I feel so guilty.”
Another eye roll.
Guilty?
You’ve done everything to me and you still think you have a conscience?
“So to make it up to you... I’ll grant you one small wish. How about that?”
Muen’s eyes lit up. “I want freedom—”
“No.”
Anne pressed a finger to his lips.
“I said small.”
“Then unlock the shackles.”
“No.”
“Clothes. I want clothes.”
“Nope.”
“Give me a bed.”
“Still no.”
“You said I could make a request, but this is a damn scam!”
Muen groaned in despair.
“How small does it have to be?!”
“Let me think...”
Anne tapped her chin.
“Something like... choosing what you want for lunch.”
“...That small, huh.”
Muen sighed. “I guess... it’s better than nothing.”
“So you’ve decided?”
“Yeah. Sort of.”
“What’ll it be?”
“Well... it’s almost autumn, isn’t it?”
Muen didn’t answer right away. He paused for dramatic effect.
“Around this time every year, I’d be out boating on Lake Beipol... taking in the view while savoring the freshly caught fall fish.”
“Young Master wants fish from Lake Beipol?”
“Mhm. Autumn fish are the fattiest and most delicious. If you steam it just right, then pair it with a red wine from the Lockeborough Estate... oh, what a feast.”
“But Lake Beipol is so far away. If it’s delivered...”
“Ah yes. Last year, there I was... elegant and proud on the lake. And now I’m locked in this tiny cell, pitiful and forgotten. What’s the point of living? Why not just die right now...”
“...Fine.”
Anne’s eye twitched, but she kept her smile.
“I’ll get you the fish. Please be patient, Young Master.”
“Oh.”
Muen immediately stopped his wailing and looked at her, eyebrow raised.
“Then I’ll be waiting, Anne.”