The Return of the Crazy Demon
Chapter 385: A Face Like Zhang Fei After a Three-Day Bender With No Hangover Cure
My eldest brother looked at Commander Geumho and Commander Eunyong.
“Commander Ho, Commander Yong.”
Their formal names were probably Geumho and Eunyong, but the way my brother addressed them sounded like an old Left Assistant calling his former subordinates.
Even as the two men trembled, they answered him.
“Speak, sir.”
“If you lost to the Hao Clan Master, then the Geumho Division and Eunyong Division have lost. Take your forces and retreat.”
The two Commanders looked at each other. It was a proposal hard to accept.
My brother continued.
“If you go into all-out war, you’ll all die to the Hao Clan Master. I know you don’t want to retreat when you’ve been ordered otherwise. But once the Left Assistant arrives, the Geumho and Eunyong Divisions will become pointless meat shields. There’s no honor in this fight. If you refuse, I’ll have no choice but to behead you both. Of everyone here, you two know better than anyone that I keep my word even more strictly than the Hao Clan Master does.”
I looked at my brother.
Regardless of whether the wounded ones were old subordinates or not, my brother is someone who always puts his own words first.
In any case, the fact that he was trying to drive off both divisions with a single duel felt admirable, so I chimed in too.
“If you two die here, the Left Assistant will have an easier time commanding the army. Take the opportunity and retreat while you can.”
Commander Geumho raised a hand and called one of his subordinates.
“Deputy Chief Jang.”
“Yes, Commander.”
“Lead the troops in retreat.”
“What about you, Commander...?”
“I’ll stay. It’s my responsibility.”
“Commander...”
“This isn’t the time for arguments. Retreat.”
The man called Deputy Chief Jang sighed and finally responded.
“I accept the order.”
This time, Commander Eunyong spoke up.
“Deputy Chief Yaryul, retreat with them.”
A man, presumably the Yaryul Deputy, answered without hesitation.
“I’ll remain.”
“I won’t stand by and let the Left Assistant use you as pawns. Retreat. If you don’t, I’ll either smash your Heavenly Soul Point again or bite my tongue. I won’t take responsibility for you. Retreat. Circle around from the southeast and then return. If you run into the Left Assistant on the way, you’ll have to cross blades. Same goes for the Geumho Division. Retreat together.”
“Understood.”
The two Deputy Chiefs exchanged glances and then led the waiting troops into a slow withdrawal. Just as Eunyong had ordered, the retreat was headed southeast.
It wasn’t what I expected, but it felt like my brother had made the right call. No matter how many troops they sent, they wouldn’t mean a thing to the two of us.
My brother said to the Commanders,
“You may be called demon cultivators, but there’s no reason to die like this.”
Commander Geumho nodded respectfully.
“Thank you for showing mercy. But we will stay. You know, someone always has to take responsibility.”
My brother replied,
“I understand.”
Only then did Commander Geumho and Commander Eunyong steady themselves, regulating their breathing as they closed their eyes.
Then my brother said something cryptic.
“Now that time has passed and I look back...”
“Hm.”
“It seems the Cult Leader is still stuck in the days of the successor struggle.”
“In what way?”
“That must’ve been the last time he truly enjoyed himself. After taking the throne, even commanding an army with a single word probably felt hollow. In the end, maybe he's clinging to that time—when he still had rivals.”
It was vague, but I understood the gist.
I asked him about something I had been wondering.
“Then does that mean he wanted someone like you or me to rise as a worthy enemy? Judging from what he’s been doing lately.”
“Even if one comes to understand the world well, there are times they fail to understand themselves. Maybe it’s not that I didn’t understand the Cult Leader—but that he doesn’t understand himself. Looking back, the time he spent desperately clawing for survival might’ve been the best days of his life... but how do you even put that into words? There’s hardly a term for it.”
I looked at my brother’s expression.
I wanted to ask, ‘Is the Cult Leader really that sentimental?’—but I held back. Because I suddenly remembered the day he came to see Elder Heo. That memory made my brother’s speculation seem plausible.
I let out a sigh.
“Don’t tell me all this bullshit is happening just because the guy’s bored in a world without worthy enemies.”
It felt like part of my insides were rotting.
My brother looked at the Commanders meditating and said,
“......‘Retrieve the Light Sword.’ ‘Retrieve Il-Sal.’ What meaning could a couple swords possibly hold for the Cult Leader? He’s already at a level where he doesn’t even need to wield one. The General Laws only exist as a way to command subordinates. If he truly followed them, he wouldn’t be called a demon at all. He wouldn’t have tried to set himself against the world. Hypocrites exist in both the righteous and the demonic paths. The nameless, vague discomfort I always felt—must’ve come from the Cult Leader’s hypocrisy. Because...”
“......”
My brother continued, as if he were addressing the Commanders.
“Because your lives matter less to him than his own amusement. You’re being sacrificed for the Cult Leader’s sense of isolation, emptiness, boredom, and dull routine. I left the cult because I witnessed that sacrifice, and because I was too foolish to even realize what was wrong. I needed to see it all from the outside.”
The Commanders slowly opened their eyes and looked at him. From their expressions, I could tell they had been listening to everything.
Commander Geumho asked,
“Is that the reason you left the cult?”
My brother answered,
“Do you think that’s too petty a reason?”
Commander Geumho shook his head.
“No. That’s fitting for someone like you.”
As I listened to my brother and his former subordinates talk, I felt a strange emotion stir inside me. It wasn’t exactly pleasant.
It felt like—for the first time—I had discovered the Cult Leader’s weakness.
In my eyes, his weakness was...
The Sword Demon beside me.
Because the Sword Demon was the one more suited to be Cult Leader. It wasn’t just my opinion—his old subordinates seemed to feel the same. And yet, knowing that didn’t make me happy.
Because if my brother ever did become Cult Leader, that would mean I’d lose him.
I let out a sigh.
What made it worse was this creeping feeling—
That the clever Cult Leader had already known all of this long ago.
As if he was throwing us bait to be sacrificed for the Light Sword.
As if he was giving us a trial on the path to becoming the next Cult Leader.
As if this kind of hardship and pain were required qualifications for taking the throne.
The fights we’ve endured so far were bearable.
But being caught in the Cult Leader’s sick little game—
My brother is pitiful.
I’m pitiful.
And even the cultists are pitiful.
That’s why people have to find their own path. Because if you don’t, it’s no different than walking blindly in the dark.
Who in their right mind could truly understand someone like the Cult Leader?
Darkness is simply dark—it’s not something you can comprehend. That’s why the one holding the blade of resistance is, inevitably, my brother.
Just like his sword is called Light.
Still, the problem remains: the Cult Leader’s strength. Once he grows tired of his current toys, he’ll just find new ones to play with.
That’s why this is all just the original form of a primitive and childish game.
Like grabbing the strongest tiger from one mountain and the strongest bear from another and watching them fight.
It’s just that the tiger and the bear have been scaled up to warriors of the martial world.
If my theory is correct—
Then the Cult Leader probably let Light Guardian Wi live too.
Tormented him mentally until he met the Hao Clan Master, and the man snapped like a rabid dog. And yet, he still wouldn’t kill him. Because a mad dog is still just a dog.
I looked up with my brother at the new banner that was approaching.
Then who the hell are these bastards?
Commander Geumho and Commander Eunyong must’ve sensed the arrival of reinforcements, because they closed their eyes again. Probably didn’t want to talk anymore.
But the number of incoming troops exceeded even those of the Geumho and Eunyong Divisions combined. Their outfits weren’t uniform, and the warriors in front had mismatched weapons and armor. From a distance, they looked like a band of vagabonds. Only when they got closer did I realize—they were not vagabonds.
They were retainers.
The banner bore the character 塔 (Pagoda).
So this must be the group of Pagoda King, the newly appointed Light Guardian.
Had they arrived a little earlier, even the Geumho and Eunyong Divisions wouldn’t have been able to retreat. Their formation was less disciplined than the retreating troops. But the aura and energy of the retainers felt stronger than the cultists who just left. Clearly, there were quite a few seasoned martial artists mixed in.
One man stepped forward, and the crowd parted to both sides. He was tall, like a walking tree, and not just tall—but abnormally broad. A giant of a man. His physique was so exceptional, it felt like even his ancestors had been born warriors.
When the man spoke, his voice boomed louder than most.
“......Why did you let them live, Sword Demon?”
My brother snorted and didn’t respond.
The man presumed to be Pagoda King then asked the Commanders,
“Where’d the rest of the troops go? Doesn’t look like they’re dead. Commanders?”
Figuring it was best to redirect his attention, I opened my mouth.
“......You’re the new Guardian?”
Pagoda King nodded, staring at me with an idiotic expression.
“You’re the Hao Clan Master?”
I slowly shook my head.
“I’m the Second of Baek Eung-ji.”
Pagoda King nodded.
“So you’re Young Master Mong. Where’s the Master?”
“He’s busy right now.”
My brother gave me a side glance, not bothering to stop me.
Pagoda King spoke in a solemn voice.
“That punk left the inn unattended? I heard he went to collect on a tab.”
The guy looked especially dumb as he spoke smoothly, and that finally made the retainers burst into laughter. It was the kind of laughter that said, We all know he’s the Hao Clan Master.
I couldn’t help but laugh with them.
“Pagoda King......”
“Speak.”
“For someone who looks like that, you’re actually pretty smart. I underestimated you. Thought you were some dumb brute—but you’re clever. That was prejudice on my part. People really shouldn’t judge by appearance. I mean, you look like Zhang Fei after three straight days of drinking with no hangover cure. That was my mistake. No wonder you’re famous among retainers. I heard the Left Assistant sold you off cheap because he couldn’t afford your food bill. That true?”
The ones laughing stopped.
The ones talking shut up.
Pagoda King stared at me with a hardened face, nostrils flaring.
“I’ve heard a lot about your mouth. Been wondering when someone would finally rip it apart. You’ve lasted longer than I expected. But before the sun sets today, I promise you—your mouth will be in pieces.”
“Bullshit.”
My brother finally spoke.
“Pagoda King.”
Pagoda King responded.
“Traitor. Got something to say?”
“Did you kill War Demon?”
Pagoda King grinned broadly and said,
“Ah... was he an old subordinate of yours? ‘War Demon’—what a shameful nickname. Must’ve been embarrassed. Why else kill himself after losing?”
My brother asked calmly,
“Did he fight dishonorably? Did he show cowardice?”
Pagoda King replied,
“No, not really. It’s just, compared to that nickname—”
My brother cut him off.
“Then why are you mocking his death? Just because you were stronger?”
He stood up from the wall.
As the man known as the Sword Demon rose, the surroundings fell into silence. Regardless of numbers, my brother’s declaration of war silenced everyone.
“......A traitor has no reason to avenge a cultist, but your mockery cannot be ignored. Step forward.”
Before Pagoda King could say anything, I cut in.
“Sending your subordinates first—that’s not your style, is it? If you send anyone, I’ll deal with them all. You face the former Left Assistant. Surely you didn’t get made Guardian just by running your mouth, Pagoda King. Didn’t realize there were so many ‘Kings’ around here. Fucking joke.”
Pagoda King’s face turned red—easy to see with that huge head of his. 𝒻𝘳𝘦𝘦𝘸ℯ𝒷𝘯𝘰𝑣ℯ𝑙.𝘤𝑜𝘮
My brother lightly jumped down from the wall and strode forward, stopping in a wide open space.
If a guy still won’t step forward after this, he’s neither demon nor man. There’s a kind of atmosphere to a battlefield. Back down, and not even your allies will respect you.
That’s the martial world.
Pagoda King looked at the retainers and said,
“Bring it.”
Two emaciated men stepped forward from the crowd, carrying a ridiculously oversized, grotesque-looking greatsword—looked like several giant blades fused together. Pagoda King took it in one hand, slung it over his shoulder, and walked out.
Apparently out of his mind, Pagoda King even mocked my brother.
“......No matter how I look at it, you seem a notch or two above that War Demon guy. Confident, are you?”
I stared at my brother’s back. For some reason, he seemed angrier than usual, so I shut my damn mouth for once.
Just then, I locked eyes with Commander Geumho and Commander Eunyong.
“......”
The two had been forcing their eyes shut, but opened them again, clearly curious about the fight. I pointed at them and twirled my finger. They coughed awkwardly and turned their bodies. Even with internal injuries, it seemed they couldn’t resist watching.
My brother wordlessly drew the Light Sword.
Today, for some reason, that blade shimmered even more brilliantly than usual.
Maybe I was imagining things, so °• N 𝑜 v 𝑒 l i g h t •° I looked up—
The sky was just clear, the sun blazing.
“......Damn. The clouds are...”
So white.