"Hehe... look at them, the perfect little couple. Hehe... so pure, so innocent, so completely clueless."

Kaizen was right in the middle of a deep, unhinged villain laugh when his vision suddenly flashed with a violent, glowing golden light.

Ding!

The cheerful sound echoed in his brain, and his entire face instantly shifted into an expression of pure, deep-fried disappointment.

He looked like a man who had just bitten into a delicious chocolate chip cookie only to realize it was actually a raisin abomination.

He didn’t even need to look to know exactly what this new notification was. Of course, who else could it be...

’Damn you, crusty virgin developer! You aren’t even going to give me a single damn day of rest to enjoy my hundred grand?!’

Feeling incredibly angry and ready to fight a god, Kaizen clicked open his floating system interface right in the middle of the crowded hallway.

Drawing even more weird looks from the passing students.

Sure enough, standing right there to greet him in bold, mocking text was none other than a fresh, completely unhinged quest.

[Sudden Quest: Save the Damsel in Distress!]

[Description: A main heroine is currently in extreme danger inside the academy! But the system will NOT tell you which heroine it is! Figure it out yourself and suffer, you shitty NTR bastard!]

[Time Limit: 10 Minutes!]

[Penalty: Your penis size permanently shrinks to the size of a wrinkly pinky toe. Plus, permanent death for the heroine!]

[Reward: +20 Affection with Oriya. One pair of 8D High-Definition Secret Camera Lenses.]

"..."

"...."

"Is... is the creator of this game legally retarded?"

Kaizen seriously, genuinely doubted the developer’s IQ right now.

He stood completely still in the corridor, a deadpan expression plastered across his face.

He had been rage-baiting the guy all morning, throwing out insults about his lack of a sex life, but this was just pathetic.

Did the developer really think he did something clever here?

Look at the damn quest structure! The narrative setup was supposed to be a flawless psychological trap.

He was supposed to save a heroine, but the system wouldn’t name her.

Under normal circumstances, Kaizen would be sweating bullets, panicking, running around the campus like a chicken with its head cut off, and eventually failing the quest while his little brother turned into a sad pinky toe.

The developer would have won the ultimate victory, saving his precious pure heroines and ruining Kaizen’s life.

It was a perfect, diabolical plan...

But...

’But that stupid, crusty-ass virgin went ahead and revealed the literal reward section!’

[Reward: +20 Affection with Oriya. 8D Camera Lenses.]

’What the actual fuck is that?! +20 affection with Oriya?!’

’If the reward gives affection points for Oriya, then Oriya is obviously the damn heroine in distress!’

’Is this guy for real right now?! What the hell!’

Kaizen wasn’t even relieved that his little brother was saved from turning into a peanut, nor was he happy that he could easily rescue the girl.

No, he was just incredibly pissed off that the person pulling the strings of this universe was such a massive, monumental dumbass!

The developer had literally given away the answer to his own riddle in the very next line of text!

It was like a teacher giving a multiple-choice test and bolding the correct answer.

"What a crusty, hopeless virgin."

Kaizen shook his head in absolute, second-hand embarrassment as he closed the screen and checked his watch.

Meanwhile, right in front of him, Kenji and Aria were still walking hand-in-hand.

Kenji noticed Kaizen standing there, shaking his head and muttering to himself like a mental patient.

"Hey, Aria-chan, don’t look over there. That trash Ryuga guy is completely losing his mind. He’s talking to the wall."

Kenji whispered loudly, pulling her closer.

Aria looked up, her eyes immediately meeting Kaizen’s perverted gaze. Her heart did a sudden, violent flip-flop inside her ribs.

She remembered the $69 superchat, the heavy groping, and the massive monster in his pants.

She hurriedly looked away, her face turning pink as she gripped Kenji’s hand tighter to hide her shaking body.

’Hmph! He’s staring at me again! He really is a shameless beast!’

She thought, completely unaware that Kaizen wasn’t even thinking about her ass right now.

Kaizen didn’t give a single crap about the lovebirds. He sneered at them one last time before spinning around on his heel.

"Nine minutes left. Time to go rescue Oriya and claim those 8D glasses. Hehe."

Kaizen knew this upcoming incident like the back of his perverted hand.

In the original trash game, this was the exact plot armor event that introduced yet another top-tier heroine to the bloated harem cast: Oriya.

She was a masterpiece of generic anime design: bright orange hair, giant bubbly eyes, a sweet voice that could give you diabetes, a massive rack, and a heavy, bouncing ass.

She was basically a clone of Hina-chan, except she wasn’t a stuttering, shy mess.

Oriya was a cheerful, goofy airhead who regularly talked to herself in public and possessed a boyfriend who was a massive edge lord—though not the brooding, cool type like Kaito-kun.

He was just a loud, annoying try-hard who hung out with a completely different, irrelevant cast of background friends.

According to the game’s terrible script, this specific emergency happened in the first-floor girls’ bathroom when Oriya was completely alone.

In his past playthroughs, Kaizen, playing as the dense hero Leo, had to sprint across campus like a maniac to save her before her edgy boyfriend could arrive, thus successfully triggering the glorious Heroine Stealing Protocol.

Now, you might think Kaizen was currently sprinting toward that bathroom to cuck both Leo and the edgy boyfriend at the same time.

And yes, you would be absolutely right!

He fully intended to claim her. But there was one microscopic, highly inconvenient problem.

Who the hell was going to deal with the supernatural, high-level ghost currently haunting that bathroom and trying to murder her?

’Not me, that’s for fucking sure!’

He had exactly zero combat skills, a level-one stat sheet, and a body built entirely for tactical groping, not exorcisms.

If he walked into that bathroom alone, that ghost would rip his soul out through his nose long before he could even admire Oriya’s big rack.

Kaizen snickered like a cartoon villain, pulled out his phone, and dialed a very specific, familiar number.

The phone didn’t even have time to ring once before it was violently picked up on the first millisecond.

"Kaizen-kun! My loyal, rich bestie! What’s up, man?! Where are you right now? We’re all hanging out at the class! Come over here right now, bro!"

Kaizen just shook his head, a wave of profound second-hand embarrassment washing over him as he listened to Leo’s overly happy, oblivious voice.

The creator’s golden boy and ultimate protagonist was about to become his personal, unpaid wingman yet again.

’That crusty-ass developer pulled me into this trash world to give a review, right?’

Kaizen thought with a wicked grin.

’Shouldn’t I give him a legendary review right back?’

Indeed he should! It was time to break the plot!