You said you hated men, why are your eyes now full of love?-Chapter 64 - Morbid

Dusk slanted across the busy streets.

After school, Ruan Qingqing began another shift at the milk tea shop where she worked part-time. She changed into a simple uniform, tied her sleek black hair into a low ponytail, and revealed her delicate features. Her skin was smooth and unadorned, pure and flawless.

No matter where she went, her looks always drew attention.

The shop quickly filled with customers.

Even after turning down yet another request for her contact information, she still wore a faint smile.

There was no sign of the fierce, cold edge she’d shown just days ago in the school bathroom, threatening the girls who had spread rumors.

She glanced toward the couples holding hands at the street corner. Keeping her polite smile in place, she focused on her work, though something stirred quietly in her chest.

Her thoughts drifted away.

She missed Ji Mu…

It had only been a day, but the longing had already coiled around her heart like wisteria, every leaf shaped like his face.

I really... want to see you right now.

The roses were in bloom. In that other city, would he be missing her, too?

His image lingered in her clear eyes. A faint dimple appeared, hidden beneath the warm light of the setting sun. The red camphor blossoms by the street swayed slightly, silently revealing the feelings she’d been trying to hide.

Out of the corner of her eye, she noticed a boy of seven or eight standing in front of her. Ruan Qingqing pulled her thoughts back.

She stepped out from behind the counter, crouched down, and said gently, "Little one, what would you like to drink?"

The little boy stared at her blankly, forgetting to lick the lollipop in his mouth.

"Big sister, you're so pretty, just as pretty as the girl I like."

Ruan Qingqing smiled sweetly, finding it very amusing. "Little one, do you know what it means to like someone?"

She wanted to tease the cute little boy, but his innocent answer left her stunned.

"I don't like fat girls, but it's okay if she's fat."

His childish voice was full of innocence, untouched by the world.

Ruan Qingqing stood frozen in place for a long, long moment.

…

Maybe it was because of the upcoming holiday.

By the time the evening rush hit, the streets outside were lively, and the shop’s orders had multiplied.

When Ruan Qingqing finally finished work and got home, it was already very late. The sky outside had gone completely dark.

She rubbed her sore neck. Her phone screen read midnight.

The world outside was silent. Rusted streetlamps stood in the fading night, casting a dim, dying light.

The house was quiet and empty. She was alone.

The wind howled outside, noisy against the silence, but it couldn’t drown out the loneliness creeping up from within.

She flipped the light switch on. The glow lit up the room, but it only made the place feel even more lifeless, cold and devoid of warmth.

This feeling... is really hard to get used to.

Ruan Qingqing patted her cheeks, trying to ignore the loneliness growing in her heart.

She went to the refrigerator and opened the bottom shelf.

Inside were several bags of fresh blood.

She picked one, tore open a small corner, and drank. The metallic, rusty iron taste seeps into her lips and down her throat, pungent and overwhelmingly unpleasant.

Frankly, it wasn't a pleasant experience.

But strangely enough, the emptiness in her stomach faded, like a dry riverbed being filled with rain. The fatigue in her body faded, and her pale cheeks began to regain some color.

A dark red flashed through her eyes, and the charm in her expression grew stronger, more entrancing.

Once the rush through her limbs subsided, she stood up and went to the bathroom.

A moment later, the rustling of clothes and the sound of running water echoed faintly.

She didn’t notice the faint image of a fox spirit flickering in and out of view around her.

...

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About fifteen minutes later, Ruan Qingqing finished wiping herself and returned to the room.

Even without her underwear, her silhouette remained full and seductive, her snow-white breasts standing proudly.

The white nightgown draped gracefully over her slightly damp skin, and as the fabric became wet, it became transparent, revealing the pink flesh underneath.

At that moment, the girl seemed to be a combination of everything that could stir the most primal desires in a man's heart.

Unfortunately, there was no one to witness it.

The curtains were half drawn, dimming the light once more.

She lay down, wanting to fall asleep early and wake up refreshed for her next shift.

But as her eyes close, the image of Ji Mu with his overly superior and refined features filled her mind.

Especially those almond-shaped eyes with their thick, pronounced lashes. The deep brown irises shimmered with a delicate light, and the red mole at the corner of the eye that added a touch of allure and mysticism.

Even just meeting his eyes was enough to pull someone under. That casual indifference of his… it was dangerously charming.

And sometimes, those eyes looked utterly calm.

Like they were gazing through empty air, over a still lake, or past strangers on the street…

It was exaggerated, but... also very commanding.

Would those eyes ripple under her provocative actions?

Like… a bottle of soda popping the moment you open it.

“Mm~”

The thrilling, dangerous thought sent a rush to her brain.

Warm tingles spread from her chest downward. She felt the change in her body and opened her eyes, dazed.

I can’t keep going. I already gave in once…

Her legs pressed together under the thin fabric, her sensitive body arching as she fought the feeling.

She let out a long, heavy sigh.

I must... restrain myself.

She tossed and turned, unable to sleep. Closing her eyes only brought more risk of losing control. So she picked up her phone from the bedside table.

She unlocked the screen and opened Feixin. Ji Mu was pinned at the top of her chats, his name immediately visible.

His avatar was a sleepy anime chibi character yawning, which matched his usual personality quite well.

"Wild Boy…"

She murmured his username under her breath, inexplicably amused. A smile curled at the corners of her lips.

Scrolling through their conversation, she reread every message, studying them one by one. Far from boring, the chat history made her feel content.

The stillness of the night slowly gained warmth.

She was in the middle of scrolling when her finger accidentally tapped his avatar twice.

The chibi on the screen shook twice.

A line of text popped up beneath it.

[I patted Wild Boy and decided to give him a big meal.]

Ruan Qingqing was startled and almost dropped her phone.

The drowsiness she had just experienced vanished completely.

As she swallowed the saliva that had accumulated in her mouth, she could only silently pray that she hadn't woken him up.

Five seconds later, her phone chimed with a notification.

[Wild Boy]: Hmm?

Ruan Qingqing sat up in bed at once, her half-lidded eyes now wide.

Instant reply...

Staring at her screen, her heart pounded like a drum. She didn’t know if it was from nerves or excitement.

She typed slowly.

[Xu Xu Qing Feng]: Mu Mu, are you asleep?

As soon as she sent it, her face turned red and she felt foolish.

What a stupid question! If he was asleep, he wouldn't answer.

The boy seemed a bit confused and answered after a dozen seconds.

[Wild Boy]: Not yet

Good, I didn't wake him up...

Calming her racing heart, she hesitated for a moment before deciding to ask.

[Xu Xu Qing Feng]: Then... if it's okay, can we talk on the phone?

As soon as she sent the message, another one from him appeared.

[Wild Boy]: I was just about to sleep

Crap!

Ruan Qingqing's body that had just relaxed tensed up again. She desperately tried to retract the message, deeply regretting her impulsive decision to send such a request.

Before she could figure out what to do, her phone vibrated and the screen lit up.

Incoming Call: Wild Boy

Ring ring-ring

The gentle ringtone filled the air. Ruan Qingqing clutched her phone, her palm already damp with sweat.

Nervousness. Anticipation. Joy.

Everything tangled in her chest.

After a few seconds, she tapped to answer.

She instinctively held her breath. She could hear her own heartbeat.

"Hello?"

His voice came through, low and husky, like he had just woken up or had been arguing with someone. It was… unexpectedly sexy.

Ruan Qingqing’s heart thudded.

"Mu Mu..."

She held the phone in both hands and spoke softly. “The joint exam results came out. I made it into the top hundred. Exactly the hundredth.”

"Really? That's great."

His usual praise came through the phone.

Halfway through, he paused, a hint of amusement in his tone, "But I already knew."

"Huh? How did you know, Mu Mu..."

"Well, as the new student representative of Yulan, I have the privilege of seeing the results early."

After answering her question, he continued.

"How does it feel to reap the fruits of your own labor?"

"Mm, it feels great."

"Right?"

His voice had a slight upward tone.

"If I had told you too soon, you wouldn't have experienced this joy."

On this end of the phone, Ruan Qingqing listened quietly, her eyes softening at his proud tone.

"Yes, Mu Mu, you're amazing~"

Perhaps because her praise was so sincere, Ji Mu coughed slightly in embarrassment and changed the subject.

"Speaking of which, the environment at today's competition was terrible. The bed creaked every time I turned. I wonder what unscrupulous manufacturer made it."

"That's terrible! Shouldn't you tell the teacher? Poor sleep isn't good for you."

"I plan to. I'll talk to him tomorrow."

"Mm, good~"

The two of them chatted casually.

Even the most trivial events of the day would be discussed at length.

There seemed to be an endless stream of topics, and even the dullest content felt interesting.

The once silent night was no longer lonely.

Time passed little by little.

On the other end of the phone, the boy’s voice grew softer, sleepier.

Until his breathing evened out.

Ruan Qingqing lay back down, the phone’s faint light casting gentle shadows over her delicate face.

Her gentle eyes gazed at the chibi avatar on the screen.

Some small, indescribable feeling tugged softly at her heart.

This was the first time she had fallen asleep during a conversation with a boy.

And this boy was someone she cared about deeply~

"Mu Mu," she called softly.

"...Mm," A sleepy mumble came through the phone seconds later. "I'm here."

Ruan Qingqing tightened her grip on the phone. Her heart softened.

No matter when, he always made sure she didn’t feel alone.

Every word had a response. Every moment had someone there.

Only Ji Mu gave her this kind of treatment.

For no particular reason, a memory flickered through her mind.

"Suddenly, I feel like thanking Chu Yashi..."

The quiet murmur dissolved into the night.

The boy, already on the verge of sleep, didn’t catch her words clearly.

“Hm?”

Ruan Qingqing smiled faintly. "It's nothing..."

Thank you for letting me meet him.

Although it sounded absurd and ridiculous to thank a bully, if she had to do it all over again, she would still step into that same mess.

It wasn't that she had any masochistic tendencies.

She just... wanted to receive his compassion again.

People always say to follow your heart.

But her heart said it would only follow him.

If he approached her to help her change her weakness, then she… she would pretend to be innocent and pitiful.

Then, step by step, she would hold on to that kindness.

And eventually… trap him.

Completely.

Forever.

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