Yarra's Adventure Notes-Chapter 1271 - 57 Father

"When my mother passed away, I was still very young. The impression she left in my heart was nothing more than a warm embrace and an irreplaceable sense of security," Freya whispered, nestling against her mother’s statue, recounting the past, "Even though I could not remember things when I was in my mother’s arms, that sense of security has been etched deep into my soul, making it unforgettable for a lifetime. Since my mother left us, I have never been able to sleep peacefully at night again. After falling asleep, I would feel waves of panic that frightened me. It’s funny, isn’t it? Even though I’ve grown up, become sensible, and even now, I still can’t shake off this torment and continue to miss that sense of security I will never be able to have again."

"That’s not funny at all," Pannis said, with his arms crossed, leaning against a Rhea pine beside the grave, gazing at Freya’s misty eyes, "The impact of one’s childhood isn’t so easily cast aside. Moreover, this is not about your childhood, but your infancy. Back then, it was life’s instincts that influenced you. Changing disturbances brought on by instincts is something not many can achieve."

"Perhaps, who knows," Freya said with a wistful shake of her head. She stood up from the statue’s pedestal and wrapped her arms around the statue’s thighs once more, pressing her face against the cold marble and gently rubbing it as if she were a child seeking warmth from her mother’s legs, "By the time I was about eight, I began to wander around the city by myself. I suppose there must have been people secretly protecting me along the way, but I did not know about it at the time, only thinking of it later. Since then, every few days, I would come here alone to visit Mother. However, every time, I would keep it a secret from Father, not letting him know that I had come again."

"Why is that?" Pannis asked, puzzled, "Does he not like you coming to see her?"

"No, you misunderstand. They had a very good relationship, and even now, Father still can’t forget Mother. He wouldn’t have stopped me from coming here," Freya sighed and said, "But I knew that if he knew I always come to keep Mom company, it would make him sad." ƒreewebɳovel.com

"I never expected that Odin was such a good father," Pannis raised his eyebrows and nodded thoughtfully, "It’s not obvious that he’s so thoughtful. But that makes sense. As a ranger, if one is not careful enough in heart, they would likely have become prey in the jungle instead of the hunter, and wouldn’t have achieved what he has today."

"It looks like you’ve figured it out." Freya smiled with satisfaction, "Indeed, he is a good father, a very, very loving father to me. He knows the sorrow I would feel from losing Mother, so he has always been trying to take good care of me, always hoping to give me the love of both parents combined. Whenever he has the time, he makes sure to care for me attentively, both in daily life and in spirit. He does not want me to suffer any distress or feel lost because of Mother’s departure. I understand my father’s sentiments, but in the heart of a child, the role of a mother is actually irreplaceable. No matter how hard Father tries, I still miss Mother every day. But by then, I already understood very well that if Father knew about it, he would fall into a state of self-blame, thinking it was his own fault, thinking that he hadn’t taken good care of me, and hadn’t made me feel loved enough. I didn’t want him to blame himself, I didn’t want him to be sad, being both a lord and a guild leader, he had already done well enough, so I kept it from him, not letting him know my thoughts, not letting him know that I would come here every few days."

"I have a question," Pannis’s mouth twitched as he asked seriously, "At that time, you were probably... less than eight years old?"

"Age is but a shadow that conceals the sight of mortals, those who cling to the concept of age are unable to accept reality," Freya raised her voice and chanted fervently, "Open your eyes and see, the one standing before you, even though she bears the appearance of a child, possesses a soul more complete and mature than yours."

"Tragedy of the Prodigy, such an oppressive play and you managed to endure it until the third act. If it were me, I would have left at the first act," Pannis sneered, "Moreover, you compare yourself to a character who at seventeen, died in a duel over a meaningless argument with someone else, which doesn’t bode well, does it? Heh, a complete and mature soul? Making such a childish act, I can’t see anything mature or complete in it."

"Hehe, the fact that you could say that means you didn’t leave at the first act but watched the entire play," Freya said with a pursed smile, enjoying this strange manner of conversation with Pannis, "But, I was indeed about eight at the time."

"To have such concerns at that age, should I say it’s just like you, Freya?" Pannis sighed, "No wonder you became this kind of person. Having thought so much since you were little, it’s not surprising at all how you’ve changed after growing up."

"But I still didn’t think enough, or rather, not comprehensively enough," Freya shook her head, "If I had thought more comprehensively, I wouldn’t have resorted to this kind of concealment. I should have realized that my father couldn’t possibly rest easy with me playing outside on my own; there must have been someone secretly following and protecting me, and those protectors would definitely report my actions back to him. In other words, he knew every time I came to visit Mother."

"I would think so too, otherwise he wouldn’t be as competent as you say," Pannis said, "Then what was his reaction to this?"

"The problem is, he never said anything about it, not once," Freya revealed a smile that was like crying, "He didn’t even show any self-reproach or sadness. The only change was that he became even nicer and more caring towards me."

"You and your father are really..." Pannis couldn’t find the right adjective to express his thoughts and just sighed, "It’s troublesome when two such evasive people come together."

"Yes, I must have put a lot of pressure on him during that time," Freya said with a bitter smile, "To avoid putting pressure on me, and so I wouldn’t stop coming here out of concern for his feelings, he would rather keep his emotions bottled up and intentionally pretend as if he knew nothing. And me, it wasn’t until I was twelve that I realized all of this, that I understood how much pressure I’d put on my father."

"Uh, I don’t think you need to feel guilty about it. Being able to see through these things at twelve, tsk tsk," Pannis deliberately spoke in a lighthearted tone, "Plus, I think I should be a bit wary of Odin in the future. That guy’s thoughts are as bizarre as yours."

"Hahahaha, you’re really annoying," Freya was amused by Pannis’s behavior and scolded playfully, "Don’t talk about my father like that."

"Okay, okay," Pannis said sulkily, "So, are you going to decrease how often you come here?"

"How could I?" Freya rolled her eyes, "How could I even think that?"